postcards from the pug bus
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
Kobe the Girl Dad
died one year ago today
Kobe the Black Mamba
died long before that
he was the Kobe we admired for so long
girl dads are a dime a dozen
Happy New Year, same as the Old Year, from the alt right's favorite satire site
STAFF PICKS
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...Whether you do it doggie style or scissors, sister, we've got suggestions for what to read when you're having a cigarette or a blunt afterward ...
(1) Charlotte Church Sobriety Checklist, an angel vomits on her halo;
(2) Jesus Puts the Population of Heaven at 150, lots of room for social distancing;
(3) New Royals Book Lifts Lid Off Queen Eizabeth's Underwear
(2) Jesus Puts the Population of Heaven at 150, lots of room for social distancing;
(3) New Royals Book Lifts Lid Off Queen Eizabeth's Underwear
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The Book of Daze℠
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.
Your Virtual GanjaScope
A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.
The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.
There's a Saint for That
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.
Here's to a Brighter Day
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.
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The Grammar Prick's Lockdown Lessons
Dec 10, 2020 - 6:06
We'll grapple with the meanings of dilemma, false dilemma, Catch-22, Sophie's choice, and buckdancer's choice. The following quiz will help to keep you from tripping over your tongue when using these terms. 1. A dilemma is . . . a) discernible by its vestigial horns, b) a choice between two or more options, all of which are about as attractive as pink eye, c) what you're in when you come home smelling like cheap wine and pussy, d) in the eye of the beholder. 2. A false dilemma is . . . a) one in which all the choices have herpes, b) the root of all evil, c) a situation in which only two choices are considered or presented when there are other choices available, d) believing you have only one slot left on speed dial when actually you have two.
4. Sophie's choice is . . . a) cyanide or strychnine, b) not really a choice but a death wish, c) yet another movie for which Meryl Streep did not win an Oscar, d) a choice between two persons or things that will result in the death or destruction of the person or thing not chosen 5. Buckdancer's choice is . . . a) played in the key of C, b) a singer's decision to ignore requests and to play what he wants to play, c) the name of Rick Perry's hunting camp, d) the fallacy of making the same choice repeatedly and expecting a different result each time. The correct answers are: 1-B, 2-C, 3-C, 4-D, 5-A. Ciao for now. © The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked. |
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Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.
