postcards from the pug bus
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004

Welcome to the Alt-Middle's favorite satire site
What sort of fool brings a knife to a gun fight?
Election 2020: a never was vs. a never should be...make your vote count, don't vote, it's a mope's game
“The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.” (Winston Churchill)
Let's defund the parking meter police
What doesn't kill you will weaken you
So how does felt experience arise out of non-sentient matter, anyway?
"Che stronzi sono le persone." (T. Soprano)

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The Book of Daze℠
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Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We surely don't. National Find a Rainbow Day? Fuck that, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else bothers to celebrate, visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.

Your Daily Ganjascope
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Sagittarius (11/22 - 12/21): Your love of Calypso's Grape Fizz live resin carts conspire to produce a full-blown paradoxical reaction to life. Whenever you vape it up, dandruff shampoo turns you into a blizzard with feet. Cough medication makes you hack and sputter like a flooded outboard motor. Deodorant produces a rancid, road-kill aroma about your personal zones. I'd lay off the Beano, contraceptive devices, and hemorrhoid preparations if I were you. More Ganjascopes

The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a dried-up, old-biddy Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive or if you dare misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.

Postcards the Book
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The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-

You Can't Photoshop This image
Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."

The Fuck It List
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Ten Things You Should Quit While Not Going Gently into That Good Night

  1. Organized Religion
  2. Voting
  3. Seat Belts
  4. Making Sure Your Zipper's Up
  5. Paying for Music and Movies
  6. Apologizing for Shit You Didn't Do
  7. Pissing Indoors All the Time
  8. Hauling Your Damn Grandkids Around
  9. Stupid-Ass, Dip-Shit, Old-Fart Hats
10. Bathing or Showering Regularly

Why I Love the Coronavirus
Jul 20, 2020 - 7:57
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COVID-19 is the gift pandemic that keeps on giving: a gleaming, unforgiving mirror that reflects the foibles, failures, and foolhardiness of the American people in 4K mind-blowing splendor. No one is exempt, Skippy, not republicans, democrats, libertarians, vegans, transvestites, independents, eggheads, skinheads, straights, non-straights (I got your binary, here), cisgenders, misgenders, those who think the Redskins’ name was OK and those who don’t. Have I missed anybody? COVID-19 won’t. You’ve got to respect an opponent like that. We might have the makings of a dynasty on our hands.

Sadly we are not equal to stopping this dynasty, which has the reload capability of a porn star. It’s gonna screw us, and before we’ve had a chance to pull up our knickers , it’s gonna screw us again because we humanoids are a bed-wetting, self-pleasuring, witless horde of mutants with skid marks on our psyches. Always have been.

More than 350 years ago the French philosopher and mathematician Blaise Pascal observed, “All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone.”

Apparently we sorry lot of unenlightened wankers aren’t too good at it either. If the unexamined life isn’t worth living, the thought of an examined life appears to drive most humanoids out of their skulls. You would think they never heard of mindfulness meditation.

Thus, to celebrate Memorial Day many humanoids, in a rash of no-we-won’t-eat-our-vegetables defiance, were virtually bumping uglies from Port Arkansas and Galveston in Texas, to Lake of The Assholes, Missouri, to Daytona Beach, Florida, and other places too depressing to mention. The mutant hordes everywhere were damn near Churchillian in their zeal.

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We have met the enemy,
and they are humanoids.
We shall defend our right to stupidity, whatever the cost may be, we shall swarm on the beaches, we shall ignore social distancing in public, we shall go without masks in the stores and in the streets, we shall fight in the shopping malls; we shall never surrender.

Still congratulating themselves for seizing control of their lives, many Americans tripled down on their defiance come Fourth of July. By that time wearing a mask in public was thought by some to be a sure sign that a person squats to pee; and we were reminded of a line from an old Stones tune "Salt of the Earth."

“Let's think of the wavering millions/Who need leaders, but get gamblers instead.”

Gamblers, indeed. Gamblers like Oklahoma Governor Kevin Stitt, who attended a semi-large public gathering in Tulsa a few weeks ago, didn't catch COVID-19 there, yet kept refusing to wear a mask in public until, presto change-o, he finally caught himself a dose of the Corona, which he may have passed on to other people. Gamblers like the Florida-based supermarket chain, Winn-Dixie, which announced that it will not require customers to wear masks . . . at a time when Whole Foods, H-E-B, Costco, Walgreens, Walmart, Sam's Club, Kroger, Kohl's, and just about any other corporation whose CEO has a normal IQ is requiring masks.

At a teachers’ conference I once attended, we were asked to define discipline. “Discipline is fear,” I wrote on a black board. Most of my fellow educators were aghast. One might even say they were triggered. No, they exclaimed, discipline is inspiring a student to want to do what is right … blah, blah, blah.”

That approach doesn’t work in the classroom, and it doesn’t work among the population at large. Until people become fearful enough to remain quietly in their rooms, Ol’ COVID-19 will continue to run the table.
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West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a virtue-signalling, marching-band university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a stupid local news story from time to time.

The Pug Bus Blogs On
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Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; and more!"

The Pug Bus Quiz Challenge
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No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."

The Pug Bus Interview
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Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface.Read on.

Sites for Sore Eyes
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Discordianism--the one religion to have if you're having more than one—or or if you're having none at all.

High Times--wanna know what Super Silver Haze is going for near you? Wanna wade your way through a growing shit heap of trendy, female-empowered, social warrior nonsense to find out?

Pirate Bay--indefatigible, unsinkable, and attitude out the ass; still the one-stop shoplifting stop

Soulseek--no spoofs, no lurkers, just good clean music files for free. To hell with those overpriced streaming services. As the Buddha says, "Stream your own shit, mother-fucker."

Spectrum Labs-need to pass a piss test?

Vaults of Erowid-before you drop it, chop it, snort it, or vape it, consult the druggie's bible; your brain with thank you for the effort

ExpressVPN--sturdy, impregnable fortress. It's the VPN service that we here at the Pug Bus use. Don't go digital shoplifting without it.