Postcards from the Pug Bus                    

postcards from the pug bus

lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
Kobe the Girl Dad
died one year ago today
Kobe the Black Mamba
died long before that
he was the Kobe we admired for so long
girl dads are a dime a dozen
Happy New Year, same as the Old Year, from the alt right's favorite satire site
four dogs in a row having sex from behind...
Whether you do it doggie style or scissors, sister, we've got suggestions for what to read when you're having a cigarette or a blunt afterward ...

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The Book of Daze℠
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Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . .  The Book of Daze℠.

Your Virtual GanjaScope
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A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.

The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.

There's a Saint for That
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There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.

image of iconic screaming person
two lions having it off
The Who shortly after pissing on a tall wall
American Freedm Party
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subliminal Coca-Cola advert
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image of bicyclist
image of handicapped parking sticker
man on his knees fucking a tail pipe
fly agaric mushroom

Here's to a Brighter Day
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Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.

The Pug Bus Blogs On
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Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; the rise of the alt-middle; and more!"

Yesterdays' Papers
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Read any two of these classic articles from May 2005 and get the third one for free. Pay only for shipping and handling. Offer good while supplies last.

US Prepared for Flu Pandemic Says Bush
A case of deja vu in reverse or what?

Johnny Depp to Read at Hunter S. Thompson Memorial
Johnny wore a wife-beater then he became one.

Mena Suvari Seeks Separation from Mira Sorvino
So who'd you rather . . . or rather not.

Local News
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West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a woke university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a mean-spirited, condescending local news story from time to time.

Pug Bus Quizzes 'n' Polls
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No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."

Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-

You Can't Photoshop This

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."


The Pug Bus Interview
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Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.


image of a gun Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

  Living Among the Blowfish
        Jul 23, 2020 - 7:52
an image
WEST GOSHEN TWP, Pa.–The LGBTQ population of the United States is … a) 8.8%, b) 23.6%, c) 4.5%, d) way too annoying? The correct answer is “c,” yet according to a 2017 Gallup poll, most adults in this country would have answered “b,” owing to the fact that most American adults grossly overestimate the percentage of their fellow citizens that bats from the underside of the plate. “Grossly,” as in, by a factor of five: 23.6% to 4.5%.

Television, movies, and the media--the usual suspects--have conspired to inflate the estimates of the LGBTQ population, much as a blowfish inflates itself to intimidate its rivals. On television the LGBTQ characters parading about last season made up 8.8% of all persons on screen, nearly twice the percentage in real life. At the movies, according to GLAAD, a media advocacy group, 18.6% of the 118 films released from major studios in 2019 included characters that were lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and/or queer. That’s four times the percentage in real life. The national media, a/k/a, “the enemy of the people,” adds to this puffery to an extent beyond counting. That isn’t surprising as the media, 90% liberal by some reports, has earned the distrust of 44% of our adult population, so it must be doing something wrong.

Thanks to the tireless efforts of television, movies, and the media, U.S. women estimate that 29.7% of our population is LGBTQ. Men peg that figure at 17.4%. Estimates of the LGBTQ population also vary by age. “Adults” between 18 and 29 report the highest estimate (28.5%), and persons aged 65 and older, the lowest (17.5%). Democrats and independents guess that roughly 25% of Americans are LGBTQ, while the average guess among Republicans is (18.3%). All are well beyond the standard error of deviations.

        Our tendency to see LGBTQ people everywhere is matched by our tendency to see blacks and Hispanics everywhere. On average, Americans say that 33% of the U.S. population is black, and as many as 17% of Americans say the percentage of blacks is 50% or greater. Only 7% accurately report that the percentage of blacks falls between 10% and 14% of the population.

Between 2010 and 2019, the Latino slice of the population pie increased from 16% to 18%. Yet today, 65% of Americans think Hispanics represent at least 20% of the population, and 14% think Hispanics constitute 50% or more of the population.

If you’re looking for a lesson in the preceding litany, it’s this: Chill the hell out, my Caucasian friends. We are not the feckless minority that blowfish want us to think we are (or want us to be); and if you’ll pardon a sudden metaphor switch, we are still of a size (a legitimate 60% of the population) to stop the tail wagging the dog in human affairs if we want to. Besides, the next time someone stops you on the street and says, “your money or your life or the LGBTQ population of the United States,” you’ll know the correct answer.


© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.

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