postcards from the pug bus
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
 

Welcome to the Alt-Middle's favorite satire site
Rock star? Really? She looked like Gollum's fucking grandmother
White Fragility: having a low threshold for high-decible music about 'hos
We don't need to defund the police, we need to de-criminalize any police action necessary for keeping public order
1 + 1 = 3 How's that for non-racist, non-patriarchal math, you twat?
Are we going too fast for mouth-breathing liberals?
The next time you hear somebody creepy crawling through your living room at 4:00 a.m., don't call the police, call BLM instead, oh wait, that's probably BLM in your living room already
What's the difference between a transvestite and a transgender? A transvestite has a sense of humor
Expect riots post election in November ... question is, will there be more rioting if Trump wins or if he loses
White privilege means always having to say you're sorry
Reparation: Taking money from people who never owned slaves . . . and giving it to peope who never were slaves
The Pug Bus supports BLM's demand to replace Andrew Jackson's image on the twenty-dollar bill with George Floyd's

image of a biblical dude painting BLM on his front door Gentle Reader, may our lintel proclaim that the Pug Bus has been the satirical friend of black people and the BLM movement since well before the former became the dominant race in the United States and the latter became this country's most fearsome political party.

Not once in our fifteen-year history have we hesitated to mock, insult, degrade, demean, or humiliate someone just because he was black. Hell, we even send up black people by refusing to uppercase the b in black.

Therefore, we loudly signal our support of black-themed satire and parody. We also present our bona fides in that regard: a bunch of the articles about black people that we have done in the past. More links coming soon ... Huzzah!
BLM Declares National White Chocolate Day Racist

Killer Kwanzaa App Suspected of Causing Computer Crashes

Black Lives Matter Calls for Boycott of White Avatars

BLM Threatens to Disrupt Giants-Lions Game This Sunday


image of an 8 ball Home   Ass Hats   Celebrities   Lifestyle   Music   News   Religion   Sports   Technology   Weed   Our Staff   image of an 8 ball
search engine by freefind

image of iconic screaming person
two lions having it off
The Who shortly after pissing on a tall wall
black debutante wiping her ass with the American flag
American Freedm Party
burma shave sign with jingle
subliminal Coca-Cola advert
image of worldwide web on computer screen
image of bicyclist
image of handicapped parking sticker
man on his knees fucking a tail pipe
fly agaric mushroom

The Book of Daze℠
an image
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We surely don't. National Find a Rainbow Day? Fuck that, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else bothers to celebrate, visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.

Your Daily Horoscope
(Ramp Accessible)
Because you are highly possessive, adore your own company, and are inclined to mate for life, you begin a campaign to have self-sex marriages legalized. Your slogan, "Be part of the problem and part of the solution," is too clever by half, and your campaign comes to grief when you are caught making an unauthorized deposit at a sperm bank. More Horoscopes

The Grammar Prick
image
Meaner than a dried-up, old-biddy Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive or if you dare misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.


Postcards the Book
an image
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-


You Can't Photoshop This image
Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."

The Fuck It List
     image of a big thumb pointing down         image of a big thumb pointing down

Ten Things You Should Quit While Not Going Gently into That Good Night

  1. Organized Religion
  2. Voting
  3. Seat Belts
  4. Making Sure Your Zipper's Up
  5. Paying for Music and Movies
  6. Apologizing for Shit You Didn't Do
  7. Pissing Indoors All the Time
  8. Hauling Your Damn Grandkids Around
  9. Stupid-Ass, Dip-Shit, Old-Fart Hats
10. Bathing or Showering Regularly

image of a gun

Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

Introducing National Ain’t Woke, Do Not Disturb Day
Jul 27, 2020 - 6:52
an image
The National Day Calendar (NDC) is your go-to source if you want to know when National Tattoo Day is celebrated or when we observe National Baked Bean Month. According to the NDC, July is host to fifteen, month-long celebrations. The honorees include four of our favorite things: ice cream, hot dogs, culinary arts, and grilling--the undisputed king of the culinary arts.

But wait, there’s more! Not only the month of July but also each day of the month celebrates some damn thing(s) or another. The half dozen things that had finally gotten their days on the day this was written included National Thread the Needle Day and National Merry-Go-Round Day or “The Great Wheel of Samsara,” as the Buddhists like to call it.

In all, NDC recognizes roughly 1,500 days of our lives each year. Some are wonky, National Pharmacy Technician Day (Oct. 20); others are too trendy by half, Transgender Day of Remembrance (Nov. 20); and at least one, National Hug a Newsperson Day (April 4), ought to come with a Surgeon General’s warning.

Sadly, we could not find any righteous persons, places, things, or ideas among the estrogen-rash-inducing, Hallmark-buggering NDC celebrations. Don’t go looking there for a May I Stop Apologizing Now Day or a National Don’t Mess with Covington Students Day, let alone a National White People's Month.

In a public-spirited fever (ask not what our country can write about us, but what we can write about our country), we suggest creating a new holiday, National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day. We further suggest celebrating that day on August 4, the birthday of America’s first bi-racial, woker-than-shit president.

Right-thinking America needs a National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day because black people keep telling white people to stop saying they're woke, and it's time we Caucasians stood up, owned, and embraced our un-wokeness.

We first learned that white folk can’t be woke while watching MTV's "White Guy Resolution 2017." One of YouTube's least popular videos ever, it was pulled 48 hours after its pre-Christmas debut 3.5 years ago. This cinematic turd received 89 "thumbs up" votes on The 'Tube and 11,922 "thumbs down." Even a herd of progressives with their heads up their asses can read those numbers.

To repeat, if you didn't have your head up your ass, you did see this one coming. White men, a group that doesn’t usually mean anyone but Maxine Waters harm, saw it coming.

People have a perverse tendency to live down to the stereotypes in which they're cast. Tell people that they belong in the basket of deplorables, and they hand you a deplorable president, by your accounts. Tell white men that they ain't shit, and you see what happened to MTV. Our progressive friends would do well to remember this ancient Iranian proverb, "Before you cast the first kick, be sure that your own gonads are protected."
Humor Feed Banner
Red Bull Logo

© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.



Share The
Pug Bus

Daily Local News image
West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a virtue-signalling, marching-band university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a stupid local news story from time to time.

The Pug Bus Blogs On
hillary's basket of deplorables
Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; and more!"

The Pug Bus Interview
image of phil maggitti smoking a funny cigarette
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface.Read on.



Sites for Sore Eyes
image of tj eckleburg's eyes from the great gatsby
Discordianism--the one religion to have if you're having more than one—or or if you're having none at all.

High Times--wanna know what Super Silver Haze is going for near you? Wanna wade your way through a growing shit heap of trendy, female-empowered, social warrior nonsense to find out?

Pirate Bay--indefatigible, unsinkable, and attitude out the ass; still the one-stop shoplifting stop

Soulseek--no spoofs, no lurkers, just good clean music files for free. To hell with those overpriced streaming services. As the Buddha says, "Stream your own shit, mother-fucker."

Spectrum Labs-need to pass a piss test?

Vaults of Erowid-before you drop it, chop it, snort it, or vape it, consult the druggie's bible; your brain with thank you for the effort

ExpressVPN--sturdy, impregnable fortress. It's the VPN service that we here at the Pug Bus use. Don't go digital shoplifting without it.