Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We surely don't. National Find a Rainbow Day? Fuck that, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else bothers to celebrate, visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.
Your Daily Ganjascope
Sagittarius (11/22 - 12/21): Your love of Calypso's Grape Fizz live resin carts conspire to produce a full-blown paradoxical reaction to life. Whenever you vape it up, dandruff shampoo turns you into a blizzard with feet. Cough medication makes you hack and sputter like a flooded outboard motor. Deodorant produces a rancid, road-kill aroma about your personal zones. I'd lay off the Beano, contraceptive devices, and hemorrhoid preparations if I were you. More Ganjascopes
The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a dried-up, old-biddy Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive or if you dare misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.
Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.
Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."
The Fuck It List
Ten Things You Should Quit While Not Going Gently into That Good Night
1. Organized Religion
3. Seat Belts
4. Making Sure Your Zipper's Up
5. Paying for Music and Movies
6. Apologizing for Shit You Didn't Do
7. Pissing Indoors All the Time
8. Hauling Your Damn Grandkids Around
9. Stupid-Ass, Dip-Shit, Old-Fart Hats
10. Bathing or Showering Regularly
Introducing National Ain’t Woke, Do Not Disturb Day Jul 27, 2020 - 6:52
The National Day Calendar (NDC) is your go-to source if you want to know when National Tattoo Day is celebrated or when we observe National Baked Bean Month. According to the NDC, July is host to fifteen, month-long celebrations. The honorees include four of our favorite things: ice cream, hot dogs, culinary arts, and grilling--the undisputed king of the culinary arts.
But wait, there’s more! Not only the month of July but also each day of the month celebrates some damn thing(s) or another. The half dozen things that had finally gotten their days on the day this was written included National Thread the Needle Day and National Merry-Go-Round Day or “The Great Wheel of Samsara,” as the Buddhists like to call it.
In all, NDC recognizes roughly 1,500 days of our lives each year. Some are wonky, National Pharmacy Technician Day (Oct. 20); others are too trendy by half, Transgender Day of Remembrance (Nov. 20); and at least one, National Hug a Newsperson Day (April 4), ought to come with a Surgeon General’s warning.
Sadly, we could not find any righteous persons, places, things, or ideas among the estrogen-rash-inducing, Hallmark-buggering NDC celebrations. Don’t go looking there for a May I Stop Apologizing Now Day or a National Don’t Mess with Covington Students Day, let alone a National White People's Month.
In a public-spirited fever (ask not what our country can write about us, but what we can write about our country), we suggest creating a new holiday, National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day. We further suggest celebrating that day on August 4, the birthday of America’s first bi-racial, woker-than-shit president.
Right-thinking America needs a National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day because black people keep telling white people to stop saying they're woke, and it's time we Caucasians stood up, owned, and embraced our un-wokeness.
We first learned that white folk can’t be woke while watching MTV's "White Guy Resolution 2017." One of YouTube's least popular videos ever, it was pulled 48 hours after its pre-Christmas debut 3.5 years ago. This cinematic turd received 89 "thumbs up" votes on The 'Tube and 11,922 "thumbs down." Even a herd of progressives with their heads up their asses can read those numbers.
To repeat, if you didn't have your head up your ass, you did see this one coming. White men, a group that doesn’t usually mean anyone but Maxine Waters harm, saw it coming.
People have a perverse tendency to live down to the stereotypes in which they're cast. Tell people that they belong in the basket of deplorables, and they hand you a deplorable president, by your accounts. Tell white men that they ain't shit, and you see what happened to MTV. Our progressive friends would do well to remember this ancient Iranian proverb, "Before you cast the first kick, be sure that your own gonads are protected."
West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a virtue-signalling, marching-band university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a stupid local news story from time to time.
The Pug Bus Blogs On
Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; and more!"
The Pug Bus Quiz Challenge
No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."
The Pug Bus Interview
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface.Read on.
Sites for Sore Eyes
Discordianism--the one religion to have if you're having more than one—or or if you're having none at all.
High Times--wanna know what Super Silver Haze is going for near you? Wanna wade your way through a growing shit heap of trendy, female-empowered, social warrior nonsense to find out?
Pirate Bay--indefatigible, unsinkable, and attitude out the ass; still the one-stop shoplifting stop
Soulseek--no spoofs, no lurkers, just good clean music files for free. To hell with those overpriced streaming services. As the Buddha says, "Stream your own shit, mother-fucker."