postcards from the pug bus
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004

Welcome to the Alt-Middle's favorite satire site
What sort of fool brings a knife to a gun fight?
Election 2020: a never was vs. a never should be...make your vote count, don't vote, it's a mope's game
“The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.” (Winston Churchill)
Let's defund the parking meter police
What doesn't kill you will weaken you
So how does felt experience arise out of non-sentient matter, anyway?
"Che stronzi sono le persone." (T. Soprano)

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The Book of Daze℠
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Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We surely don't. National Find a Rainbow Day? Fuck that, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else bothers to celebrate, visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.

Your Daily Ganjascope
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Sagittarius (11/22 - 12/21): Your love of Calypso's Grape Fizz live resin carts conspire to produce a full-blown paradoxical reaction to life. Whenever you vape it up, dandruff shampoo turns you into a blizzard with feet. Cough medication makes you hack and sputter like a flooded outboard motor. Deodorant produces a rancid, road-kill aroma about your personal zones. I'd lay off the Beano, contraceptive devices, and hemorrhoid preparations if I were you. More Ganjascopes

The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a dried-up, old-biddy Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive or if you dare misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.

Postcards the Book
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The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-

You Can't Photoshop This image
Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."

The Fuck It List
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Ten Things You Should Quit While Not Going Gently into That Good Night

  1. Organized Religion
  2. Voting
  3. Seat Belts
  4. Making Sure Your Zipper's Up
  5. Paying for Music and Movies
  6. Apologizing for Shit You Didn't Do
  7. Pissing Indoors All the Time
  8. Hauling Your Damn Grandkids Around
  9. Stupid-Ass, Dip-Shit, Old-Fart Hats
10. Bathing or Showering Regularly

Save the Post Office, Take This Quiz or Else
Sep 24, 2020 - 5:46
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WEST GOSHEN TWP, Pa.–The United States Postal Service (USPS) could go tits up, Skippy, if Congress doesn't provide it with mail sacks full of cash—"$25 billion in direct funding," according to the "Political Charge" website. That's the depth of the shit hole from which the USPS needs to be rescued before letter carriers start covering their knobby knees with long pants soon.

Before you go all postal at the thought of never seeing a magazine in a plain brown wrapper (or a drug delivery from the dark web) in your mailbox again, take heart. Here at Postcards from the Pug Bus we believe in fighting fire with a few vape hits of Cresco Bio Jesus liquid, live resin concentrate. So kick back, smoke 'it if you got 'it, and test your knowledge of the USPS. Remember, the more correct answers you provide, the more likely your letter carrier is to see any of his or her pension...and the more likely you are to see your mail.

1. The Continental Congress named _______ the first Postmaster General in _______.
a) George Washington . . . 1776, b) Benedict Arnold . . . a hurry, c) Benjamin Franklin . . . 1775, d) Caesar Rodney . . . Delaware

2. There are _______ "Forever" stamps in a dozen.
a) 13, b) 9, c) 12, d) never enough

3. "Neither snow nor _______ nor heat nor _______ stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds."
a) dogs . . . horny housewives, b) STDs . . .
hemorrhoids, c) you . . . the horse you rode in on, d) snow . . . gloom of night

4. The head of the USPS is called _______.
a) Geoff, b) on the carpet frequently, c) the Post Master Generous, d) Kevin Costner

5. The post office always closes _______.
a) for lunch, b) five minutes before you get there, c) for repairs, d) for naps

6. The "Forever" stamp got its name because _______.
a) mail takes forever to get anywhere, b) forever is a long time, c) "Infinity" was already taken, d) all of the above

7. The USPS plans to begin selling _______ in its kiosks.
a) stamps, b) condoms, c) snacks, d) life insurance

8. RFD as used by the USPS stands for _______.
a) royal fucking disaster, b) reading for dummies, c) rural free delivery, d) return for deposit

9. The USPS hopes to save money by delivering mail only _______.
a) on even numbered weekdays, b) on demand, c) to people whose last names end in y, d) when all else fails

10. The postman always rings _______.
a) on Saturdays, b) twice, c) if the man of the house isn't home, d) a bell.
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West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a virtue-signalling, marching-band university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a stupid local news story from time to time.

The Pug Bus Blogs On
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Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; and more!"

The Pug Bus Quiz Challenge
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No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."

The Pug Bus Interview
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Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface.Read on.

Sites for Sore Eyes
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Discordianism--the one religion to have if you're having more than one—or or if you're having none at all.

High Times--wanna know what Super Silver Haze is going for near you? Wanna wade your way through a growing shit heap of trendy, female-empowered, social warrior nonsense to find out?

Pirate Bay--indefatigible, unsinkable, and attitude out the ass; still the one-stop shoplifting stop

Soulseek--no spoofs, no lurkers, just good clean music files for free. To hell with those overpriced streaming services. As the Buddha says, "Stream your own shit, mother-fucker."

Spectrum Labs-need to pass a piss test?

Vaults of Erowid-before you drop it, chop it, snort it, or vape it, consult the druggie's bible; your brain with thank you for the effort

ExpressVPN--sturdy, impregnable fortress. It's the VPN service that we here at the Pug Bus use. Don't go digital shoplifting without it.