postcards from the pug bus
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
Reparations? Isn't that just a fancy word
for "welfare handouts"
an excuse for taking money from people
who never owned slaves
and giving it to people
who never were slaves?
Elizabeth Warren loves to tell business owners,
"You didn't build that."
We say to reparations queens,
"You didn't earn that."
STAFF PICKS
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...Whether you do it doggie style or scissors, sister, we've got suggestions for what to read when you're having a cigarette or a blunt afterward ...
(1) Charlotte Church Sobriety Checklist, an angel vomits on her halo;
(2) Jesus Puts the Population of Heaven at 150, lots of room for social distancing;
(3) New Royals Book Lifts Lid Off Queen Eizabeth's Underwear
(2) Jesus Puts the Population of Heaven at 150, lots of room for social distancing;
(3) New Royals Book Lifts Lid Off Queen Eizabeth's Underwear
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The Book of Daze℠
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.
Your Virtual GanjaScope
A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.
The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.
There's a Saint for That
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.
Here's to a Brighter Day
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.
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Satire Site Calls for Boycott of West Chester Restaurant
Dec 23, 2020 - 7:07
"We cannot allow restaurant owners to put profits above public safety during this pandemic," said Chip Hilton, food, music, and wellness editor of the Pug Bus. "Besides, if your food is brought to you by someone wearing a mask, you ought to be eating at home ... and that's what we're advising our readers to do." Hilton, who thinks "restaurant owners need to get over themselves," calls the Market Street Grill's attempts to justify its decision "incoherent and self-serving." Darla Riccetti, part owner of the grill, recently told the Daily Local News, “We are trying to save the business. We don’t want to get anybody sick."
"If the idiot who wrote that piece for the Daily Local had any wit or integrity, he would have asked her how many people she would be willing to see get sick in order to save her business. We'd all like to know that answer." The indoor-dining ban went into effect December 12. That same day West Chester Borough police contacted Market Street Grill after receiving a complaint that people were eating inside. Police then reported the restaurant to the state department of agriculture, which has the authority to shut down a restaurant for non-compliance. Hilton says that in urging the boycott, he is not trying to make an example of the Market Street Grill, even if they aren't taking customers' temperatures before seating them.
Please join our boycott by filling out the brief form used to report restaurants that refuse to comply with the law. The form is available from the PA State Government here. "Vote early and often," says Hilton, "and don't forget to mention that the grill isn't even bothering to take customers' temperatures before seating them." © The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked. |
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Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.
