Postcards from the Pug Bus                    
   
   

postcards from the pug bus

  
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
Kobe the Girl Dad
died one year ago today
Kobe the Black Mamba
died long before that
he was the Kobe we admired for so long
girl dads are a dime a dozen
Happy New Year, same as the Old Year, from the alt right's favorite satire site
STAFF PICKS
four dogs in a row having sex from behind...
Whether you do it doggie style or scissors, sister, we've got suggestions for what to read when you're having a cigarette or a blunt afterward ...

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The Book of Daze℠
image of an old-fashion pinup calendar
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . .  The Book of Daze℠.
 
 

Your Virtual GanjaScope
an image of a man smoking pot
A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.


The Grammar Prick
 
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.


There's a Saint for That
patron saints for hire image
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.



      
image of iconic screaming person
      
two lions having it off
      
The Who shortly after pissing on a tall wall
      
American Freedm Party
      
burma shave sign with jingle
        
subliminal Coca-Cola advert
             
image of worldwide web on computer screen
     
image of bicyclist
  
image of handicapped parking sticker
      
man on his knees fucking a tail pipe
      
fly agaric mushroom

Here's to a Brighter Day
banner of brights organization
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.


              
The Pug Bus Blogs On
seven pugs looking out the back of a Dodge Caravan whose hatch is raised
Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; the rise of the alt-middle; and more!"

Yesterdays' Papers
image of a bunch of newspapers
Read any two of these classic articles from May 2005 and get the third one for free. Pay only for shipping and handling. Offer good while supplies last.

US Prepared for Flu Pandemic Says Bush
A case of deja vu in reverse or what?

Johnny Depp to Read at Hunter S. Thompson Memorial
Johnny wore a wife-beater then he became one.

Mena Suvari Seeks Separation from Mira Sorvino
So who'd you rather . . . or rather not.

Local News
West Chester University Golden Ram  image
West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a woke university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a mean-spirited, condescending local news story from time to time.


Pug Bus Quizzes 'n' Polls
road sign with many directions
No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."



Postcards the Book
image
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-




You Can't Photoshop This
 

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."

 

The Pug Bus Interview
image of phil maggitti, the pug bus editor
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.


 
   

image of a gun Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

 
 
  Taco Bell Wins Asshat Award
        Jan 29, 2013 - 12:52
        WEST CHESTER, Penna. -- We take no pleasure in bestowing this week's asshat award on Taco Bell, which recently bent over frontwards to accommodate a bunch of meddlesome old shits of both sexes at the Center for Science in the Public Interest (CSPI).

Seems like those meddlesome old shits started foaming at the orifice over a Taco Bell ad that rightfully said that bringing a vegetable tray to a Super Bowl party was like punting on fourth and one. The ad also suggested, rightfully, that people secretly hate other people who show up at a Super Bowl party with that kind of weak shit.

After the meddlesome old shits at CSPI stopped hyperventilating, they urged their meddlesome-old-shit followers, aka vegenazis, to tweet their displeasure to Taco Bell. Jesus Fucking Christ, you might have thought those meddlesome old shits had just learned that chef Lorena Garcia was using descendants of Gidget, the late Taco Bell Chihuahua, in those signature salad bowls.

Nevertheless, Taco Bell promptly ran for the border like a Chihuahua being pursued by a herd of pitbulls. The company that boasts about thinking outside the bun got a bad case of clenched buns and pulled the "offending" ad quicker than you can say, "Why don't those meddlesome old shits go fuck themselves?" For such rampant pusillanimous behavior, Taco Bell gets the asshat.

"We didn't want anyone to misinterpret the intent of the ad," said Rob Poetsch, a Taco Bell spokesman.

Soon afterward Margo G. Wootan, the head meddlesome old shit in charge at CSPI, was whining on the group's website, "It's bad enough that there aren't many ads on television for broccoli, kale, or carrots."

Puhleez, bitch! Ads for fucking carrots? Really? The only fucking ad for a fucking carrot that we'd fucking want to see on fucking television is one in which the fucking carrot was fucking Kate Upton.

What we'd like to know is: How many complaints did those dickless wonders at Taco Bell receive before they lost control of their bowels--250, 600, 2,000? How many complaints from a bunch of meddlesome old shits who don't go to Taco Bell anyway does it take to bend a corporation to their will?

Until Taco Bell makes that number public, it's no better than some meddlesome old shit who brings a vegetable tray to a Super Bowl party.
   

© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.

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