Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.
Your Virtual GanjaScope
A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.
The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.
There's a Saint for That
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.
Here's to a Brighter Day
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.
Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.
Brad Pitt, Katie Holmes, Keith Richards Birthday Quiz Dec 18, 2006 - 12:50
WEST CHESTER, Penna. - Brad Pitt, Katie Holmes, and Keith Richards might seem to be strange birthday bedfellows at first, but as our exclusive quiz reveals, they just might have more in common than the same birthday. Then again, they might not; or perhaps most people just don't give a shit. Whatever.
1. Both are partnered with people who have larger-than-life lips and a taste for individuals of the same sex. "Both" are a) Katie and Brad; b) Brad and Keef; c) Katie and Keef.
2. One has regular blood transfusions while the other has a partner who signs Kwanzaa cards in his or her own blood. The members of this pair are a) Brad and Katie; b) Katie and Keef; c) Keef and Brad.
3. They each have one biological child and two adopted children. "They" are a) Brad and Katie; b) Keef and Katie; c) Brad and Keef.
4. One is involved with someone who wants to save the world through religion while the other is involved with someone who wants to save the world through adoption. The members of this pair are a) Katie and Brad; b) Brad and Keef; c: Katie and Keef.
5. They were married in hideously elaborate ceremonies while he or she was married on his or her birthday to save brain cells. And the winners are a) Keef, Katie, Brad; b) Katie, Brad, Keef; c) Brad, Keef, Katie.
Bonus question: Also born today are director Steven Spielberg, movie critic Leonard Maltin, actor Ray Liotta, and singer Christina Aguilera. Their ages add up to a) 139, b) 193, c) $756 million.
The Answers: b, c, a, a, b, b.
YOUR SCORE: Give yourself five points for every odd-numbered question you answered incorrectly; four points for every even-numbered question you answered incorrectly; and twenty-five points if you got the bonus question wrong too. Subtract fifteen points for every question you answered correctly, including the bonus question.
WHAT YOUR SCORE MEANS: The lowest score possible is minus 90 below; the highest score possible is plus 48. If your score was below zero, you know more about these wankers than a healthy person should. The farther above zero you scored, the greater your chance of having children who won't ride the short bus or move their lips when they read.
Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."
The Pug Bus Interview
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.