Postcards from the Pug Bus                    

postcards from the pug bus

lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
Phil Spector died for O.J.'s sins
Who is "Dr." Jill fooling with that bogus educator nonsense?
The woman teaches remedial fucking English
at a stinking community college
Truly amazing, but at least it's a step up
from her former gig as Queen of the Stone Balloon
Happy New Year, same as the Old Year, from the alt right's favorite satire site
four dogs in a row having sex from behind...
Whether you do it doggie style or scissors, sister, we've got suggestions for what to read when you're having a cigarette or a blunt afterward ...

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The Book of Daze℠
image of an old-fashion pinup calendar
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . .  The Book of Daze℠.

Your Virtual GanjaScope
an image of a man smoking pot
A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.

The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.

There's a Saint for That
patron saints for hire image
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.

image of iconic screaming person
two lions having it off
The Who shortly after pissing on a tall wall
American Freedm Party
burma shave sign with jingle
subliminal Coca-Cola advert
image of worldwide web on computer screen
image of bicyclist
image of handicapped parking sticker
man on his knees fucking a tail pipe
fly agaric mushroom

Here's to a Brighter Day
banner of brights organization
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.

The Pug Bus Blogs On
seven pugs looking out the back of a Dodge Caravan whose hatch is raised
Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; the rise of the alt-middle; and more!"

Yesterdays' Papers
image of a bunch of newspapers
Read any two of these classic articles from May 2005 and get the third one for free. Pay only for shipping and handling. Offer good while supplies last.

US Prepared for Flu Pandemic Says Bush
A case of deja vu in reverse or what?

Johnny Depp to Read at Hunter S. Thompson Memorial
Johnny wore a wife-beater then he became one.

Mena Suvari Seeks Separation from Mira Sorvino
So who'd you rather . . . or rather not.

Local News
West Chester University Golden Ram  image
West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a woke university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a mean-spirited, condescending local news story from time to time.

Pug Bus Quizzes 'n' Polls
road sign with many directions
No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."

Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-

You Can't Photoshop This

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."


The Pug Bus Interview
image of phil maggitti, the pug bus editor
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.


image of a gun Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

  Bono Challenges World Leaders to Save Board Games
        Nov 11, 2009 - 10:29
an image
MILPITAS, Calif. - Bono, U2's crusading frontman, has set himself his most ambitious and difficult task to date: rescuing board games from neglect and despair. Toward that end the globe-trotting, name-checking, self-aggrandizing-but humble singer has announced the release of How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb, a board game he designed to "reintroduce people everywhere to the simple joys of a time gone by while, at the same moment, raising their awareness of the problems I encounter while attempting to remake the world and cure its ills."

According to Bono, "Everywhere I travel—from the palaces of kings to the parlors of the common man and woman—I see families alienated from their members and family members alienated from their very souls by the cold, electronic voodoo gods of modern culture: television, computers, and hand-held devices.

"Therefore, I have vowed to dedicate myself and my creative energies to reviving interest in board games, which have been sadly neglected for too long; and I have called on world leaders to assist me in this crusade."

Produced by Earwig's R Us, How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb is, like its creator, an ever changing, ever challenging, ever compelling experience.

Each game, which can accommodate four to eight players, begins with the definition of an atomic bomb, i.e., a massive, world-threatening problem such as grinding poverty, global warming, or World War III, that only Bono can solve. After that problem has been selected by a roll of the dice, players roll the dice again to determine who will be Bono that game.

"When I designed How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb and tested it with friends of mine such as Michael Stipe, Pope Benedict XVI, Tony Blair, Bob Dylan, Sean Penn, Nicole Kidman, and Ashton Kutcher, I was keen to establish that just because a player had the great honor of being me in this game that player was not automatically guaranteed of winning," said Bono.

"There are no guarantees, my friend. I am, after all, just an ordinary human being chosen by a greater force to save the world, and even I sometimes on rare occasions fall short of the perfection to which I have been called."

After a solemn, planet-threatening problem has been defined and the roles of Bono and other world leaders have been determined, players roll the dice and move their markers around the board.

Bono's marker (a white Mercedes convertible with vanity plates) vies with other world leaders' markers (black limousines with numbered plates) to see who can circumnavigate the board and reach the finish line first.

Along the way the other world leaders often unite to frustrate Bono's efforts, and the demands of his day job—performing before millions of genuflecting fans, attending magazine cover shoots, giving speeches, and designing eco-clothing for the fashion impaired—also conspire to get in Bono's way. At the end of the day, no matter who wins, the grievous problem remains unsolved, and all players live to issue press releases and fight the problem another day.

"In that regard," says Bono in an uncharacteristic one-sentence thought, "the game is much like life."

© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.

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