Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We surely don't. National Find a Rainbow Day? Fuck that, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else bothers to celebrate, visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.
Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."
The Fuck It List
Ten Things You Should Quit While Not Going Gently into That Good Night
3. Seat Belts
4. FOX Fucking News
5. Paying for Music and Movies
6. Picking Up Pills That You Drop
7. Pissing Indoors
8. Talking Baby Talk to Children
9. Stupid-ass, Dip-Shit, Old Fart Hats
10. Bathing or Showering Regularly
Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.
How to Tell You Were Masturbating to Bad Porn Nov 13, 2019 - 5:34
WEST CHESTER, Pa.—Jesus once said, "The porn you will always have with you." He was right. In fact, porn is multiplying faster than the loaves and fishes. Last year more than 5.5 billion hours of porn were consumed on Pornhub, the world’s largest porn gallery. Thirty-five percent of all internet downloads are porn-related (WebRoot). Porn sites receive more regular traffic each month than Netflix, Amazon, and Twitter combined (HuffPost).
That being said, it must also be said: there is porn and there is porn. Not every example of the porn maker's art is a hole in one; and contrary to the popular belief that even the worst sex or pizza is good, they're not. Anyone who has watched The Return of Mr. Pepperoni knows that. So, in the event that you were too busy beating off to notice that you were watching some really limp porn, we present the following guide to bad porn and bad porn sites.
10. Too many missing teeth.
9. Disclaimer: No animals were harmed during the filming of these videos.
8. Accepts Visa, MasterCard, and food stamps.
7. The men all have names like Freddy Firehose or Dr. Cyclops.
6. Children under twelve must be accompanied by an adult.
5. The adult does not have to be a parent or legal guardian.
4. One-hour memberships available.
3. Toilet cams are not cleaned frequently.
2. Passwords limited to three characters; one must be different from the other two.
1. The woman playing Paris Hilton really is Paris Hilton.