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Your Horoscope
Week of December 2
(Ramp Accessible) . . . because you are entitled not only to your own truth but also to your own predictions
The astrological stylings of the Autistic Astrologer. If you don't like your forecast, he will stick his fingers in his ears, stamp his feet, and hum loudly.

Cancer (June 21–July 22) A stranger will stop you in the mall and ask if you can change a twenty. This is a trick question. Don't rifle through your billfold. Don't rummage through your purse. Grab your left elbow instead, spin around once, and shout, "Into what, a toad, you jackass?" The stranger will then grant you three wishes. Beware, those have trick answers.

Leo (July 23–Aug. 22) Troubled by crank phone calls you install caller ID, only to learn that the person phoning you at 3 a.m. and reciting obscene limericks in an electronically altered voice is your mother. You left her in a nursing home nine states away, but wait until you find out where she's living.

Virgo (Aug. 23–Sept. 22) Your teeth become sensitive to radio waves following a routine dental X-ray, and you begin picking up cell phone transmissions within a one-mile radius. Soon you are tormented by the shallowness of human discourse and by a neighbor who sneaks out to the garage to talk on his cell phone late at night. Your reactions are not the mark of a large soul. You have not been cursed; you have been blessed with an opportunity to know your fellow humans and to become a better listener. Embrace it.

Libra (Sept. 23–Oct.23) The goddess Maytag, in harmonic convergence with the House of Proctor and Gamble, has designated the crockpot as your ruling symbol. Unfortunately, this symbol is associated not only with the pleasure of cooking for a family but also with the loneliness of the mechanized meal. In other words: heads you win, tails you eat alone.

Scorpio (Oct. 24–Npv. 21) You are at war with your demons, and your demons are winning. You are no longer on speaking terms with your conscience. The cardinal virtues just sublet your beach house to the seven deadly sins. Unless you can lay claim to excess disposable income and a lawyer with disposable ethics, do not change anything more significant than your ring tones until next week. Concentrate on small, manageable issues such as eliminating keyboard plaque, cataloging your CD collection, and arranging the books on your shelves in alphabetical order.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22–Dec. 21) This is your bulletproof week. The world is your White Diamond Escalade. No longer will you travel at the speed of dark. Wealth, success, and teeth-rattling sex are yours for the asking. Often you will be tempted to pinch yourself to make sure you are awake. That beats the weeks when you had to pinch your favorite sex partner to make sure he or she was awake. Warm the cockles of your cockles around this lap-dancing flame of good fortune, and don't be afraid to take risks.

Capricorn (Dec. 22–Jan. 19) The inclination to be status conscious and inhibited are so Capricorn that you rarely stop to ask yourself why you are hyper-cautious. Why do you get caught with your pants up while everyone else is skinny dipping in the communal hot tub? Why do you have to march to the beat of a metronome? If your inner Lady GaGa wants to bitch slap your outer Norah Jones, don't file a restraining order, scalp tickets to the event instead. Life is a party. Why not crash it?

Aquarius (Jan. 20–Feb. 18) Troubled by your lack of formal education, you enroll in a no-courses, no-tests, no-waiting virtual university that awards degrees based on a student’s life experiences. After reviewing your application and waiting for your check to clear, the dean’s council votes to grant you a Bachelor of Arts in Compromising Positions with a minor in communicative disorders, providing you allow them to keep the pictures. Did you remember to write SAMPLE across the pictures? If not, you better start working on your self-preservation skills.

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Pisces (Feb. 19–March 20) The dating service you contacted suggests that you are best suited for the companionship of a significant other bearing a sticker that says, "Intel Inside." The next time you go looking for love in one of those fee-based places, be sure to check the application box that reads, "Same-species partner preferred."

Aries (March 21–April 19) Ever the cynic you have no trouble believing it isn’t butter; that some minds would not be a terrible thing to waste; and that maybe you don’t deserve a break today. You also have a highly developed sense of irony, which leads you to walk around muttering "I see living people" in a tiny, traumatized voice. Some people close to you might caution that trading on appearances is no substitute for developing the inner you. If they persist, try holding them at arm's length.

Taurus (April 20–May 20) Your life is a run-on sentence that is out of control and greatly in need of editing. Learn to appreciate the nuances of subordinate clauses and the hierarchical conjunctions that exist among colons, semicolons, commas, and em dashes. Strive to make the principles of good rhetoric your guiding lights. Better yet, learn when to keep your yap shut.

Gemini (May 21–June 21) Car A leaves Hollywood at 9:00 a.m. on Monday. Car B leaves Bangor, Maine, at the same moment. Car A, which has a 15-gallon gas tank and averages 19.6 miles per gallon, is driving east. Car B, which has a 17.5-gallon tank and averages 18.9 miles per gallon, is driving west. After three days, what color is car B?


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The Grammar Prick
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Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs, Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-


image of a gun

Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous and frightening to mention.

Different Types of Sensors and Their Advantages and Disadvantages
Nov 25, 2018 - 9:38
an image
Sensors are integral in machine automation. Sensor technology is also broad, and each type of sensor has specific suitable applications. It is also essential for design engineers to understand the advantages and disadvantages of each kind of sensor so that they can select which sensor is best for the intended use.

Inductive sensors

An inductive position sensor is applied widely in mechanical applications, the food and beverage industry, textile manufacturing, pharmaceuticals, and other industrial applications. The most common use of an inductive sensor in process automation is to function as a limit switch since inductive sensors are only sensitive to metal. An inductive position sensor uses a non-contact technology where the sensor does not contact any moving parts; hence it is not sensitive to environmental factors. Some of the advantages of inductive sensors include:

• Not susceptible to wear and tear
• The sensor is non-contact; thus it does not produce false-positive output.
• Operates at a high frequency
• Resistant to mechanical stress and vibration

While inductive sensors are substantially superior to other types of sensors, they are not without limitations. An inductive sensor has low sensitivity and is dependent on the inductive reaction to the frequency of supply voltage.

Contact sensors

A contact sensor is the most straightforward sensing technology used today. These are also called resistors. One specific example of a contact sensor is a potentiometer which uses the resistance change between the object and the connecting wiper and resistive track to measure displacement. Advantages of contact sensors include:

• Low-cost and mass produced
• Can function with constant, alternating supply current

However, contact sensors have a limited lifespan and require consistent maintenance. Contact sensors are also challenging to implement and are affected by wear and tear.

Capacitive sensors

Capacitive sensors, similar to inductive sensors depend on alternating voltage to work. Some of the advantages of using capacitive sensors include high sensitivity, easy installation, and low inertia. On the other hand, capacitive sensors get influenced by electric fields, and measuring devices used with capacitive sensors are relatively more complicated.

Potentiometric sensors

A potentiometric sensor converts linear and angular displacement into electrical output. The advantages of using potentiometric sensors include:

• Simple sensor design
• Relatively compact and lightweight
• Offers high degree of linearity
• Stable performance
• Works with both AC and DC

But since potentiometric sensors consist of a sliding mechanism that gets in contact with the target object, repeated use can cause cracks due to friction. Other disadvantages include:

• Sensitivity to noise
• Can have an operational error due to load
• Small conversion factor
• Susceptibility to wear and tear

Potentiometric sensors are economical and produced in large quantities. This type of sensor is preferred for light applications because it is still reliable and easy to install.

Thermocouple

Thermocouples are high-temperature contact sensors. This type of sensor features a wide range of temperature measurement which is between -200 °C to 2500 °C. The structure of a thermocouple is also simple, durable, and economical to use. However, thermocouples require temperature compensation and also have low accuracy measurement at a temperature of 1 °C.

Image: Unsplash.com


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© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked. Have a secular day.


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