Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.
Your Virtual GanjaScope
A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.
The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.
There's a Saint for That
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.
Here's to a Brighter Day
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.
Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.
God Drops Carson Wentz from Fantasy Team Nov 19, 2018 - 11:45
WILMINGTON, De.–The Lord God Almighty is more than a little miffed by Carson Wentz' three-pick performance in the Eagles 48-7 loss to the New Orleans Saints yesterday. Immediately following the game, the Lord placed Wentz on waivers. "Opey went up in flames like Joan of Arc," said the Lord. "Three interceptions! He should spend more time on the play book and less time on his prayer book. Remember, the Lord helps those who help themselves."
God's fantasy team, the Intelligent Designers, competes in the twelve-team Wilmington, Delaware, North fantasy football league, where God is known to his fellow players simply as DeAndre Danger.
God explained that he chose the Wilmington league "because I like Delaware's relaxed registration and disclosure laws, which allow me to compete incognito."
God's move caught some other coaches in the Wilmington league by surprise.
"The way Carson wears his religion on his sleeve, you'd have thought he was God's other son," said Gerry "The Rat" Capano, owner of the league-leading FamilyValues team.
"If the truth were known," said the Lord, "Carson can be a little tiresome with the religious stuff. For example, he bragged that my fingerprints were all over his wedding. They were not. Really. Did he think he was the only person who got married that day?
"And don't get me started on that 'worship' music he listens to before games. You ever hear that dreck? Can't hold a menorah to the music Bach wrote for me. Now that's how you worship somebody."
Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."
The Pug Bus Interview
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.