The Pug Bus is moving. We'll still be the profane, pot-smoking bastards we always have been, but now you'll have to find us at pugbus.org if you want to waste your time on this sort of shit. We've been at this address for eighteen years. We wish we could say that it was real, but it wasn't, it was fucking satire after all.
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.
Your Virtual GanjaScope
A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.
The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.
There's a Saint for That
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.
Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.
God Says He Told Ref to Throw Flag at “That Silly High School Kid” Oct 28, 2015 - 11:56
HEAVEN–The Lord God Almighty—King of Kings, Giver of All Gifts, Father of All Fathers, and Keeper of the Most Holy Restroom Key—announced today that He was responsible for the penalty assessed on a high school football player who pointed to the sky, and ostensibly at God, after scoring a touchdown in a game two weeks ago.
"I have had it up to my kiester with athletes pointing at the sky after scoring a touchdown, draining a three, hitting a home run, whatever," said Mr. Jaweh.
"Where do these people get the idea that I would take a personal interest in—much less interfere with—the outcomes of their amusements? Just because the game is important to them doesn’t mean it’s important to me. That’s rather arrogant, don’t you think?"
The kid who got The Lord’s goat is Dante Turo, quarterback at Mexico (New York) High School. Young Mr. Turo believes his talent is God given, and like many insufferable Christian athletes he raises an index finger to the sky (or to the roof) after a good play to advertise that fact. If you have watched fifteen minutes’ worth of sports, even grade B high school sports such as Young Mr. Turo plays, you have no doubt seen this tiresome routine. If you are like us, you sneer at such pretentiousness. (Young Mr. Turo added insult to inanity by holding the football up in his left hand while pointing with his right index finger to the sky—a real multitasker, he. We’re surprised he didn't set the ball on fire as a thanksgiving offering.)
His self-righteous posturing cost Young Mr. Turo’s team a fifteen-yard penalty on the ensuing extra point try, which was missed. Ultimately Mexico lost the game 33-31, their penultimate contest; and they lost the one after that for good measure, a game in which Young Mr. Turo threw two interceptions. Who’s your daddy now, kid? The Lord do, indeed, work in mysterious ways. One thing for certain: He ain’t nobody to fuck with.
Flashing more of His famed Old Testament truculence, The Almighty One was also critical of Young Mr. Turo’s subsequent appearance on Fox News’ Fox & Friends.
“Those people at Fox think they own and operate me,” said Mr. Jaweh, “but they’ve got another think coming, especially Bill O’Reilly. Did you read that nonsense book he wrote about my son? Rubbish. He’d better be lawyered up come the Last Judgement.”
Our fearless editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the festering evil that is Mick Jagger; the rise of the alt-middle; his hatred of soccer moms; and a whole lot more!"
Read any two of these classic articles from May 2005 and get the third one for free. Pay only for shipping and handling. Offer good while supplies last.
Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."
The Pug Bus Interview
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.
The Fuck It List
Ten Things You Should Quit Doing While Not Going Gently into That Good Night
1. Organized Religion
3. Seat Belts
4. Making Sure Your Zipper's Up
5. Paying for Music and Movies
7. Pissing Indoors All the Time
8. Hauling the Grandkids Around
9. Stupid-Ass, Old-Fart Hats
10. Bathing or Showering Regularly