postcards from the pug bus
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004

Welcome to the Alt-Middle's favorite satire site
Rock star? Really? She looked like Gollum's fucking grandmother
White Fragility: having a low threshold for high-decible music about 'hos
We don't need to defund the police, we need to de-criminalize any police action necessary for keeping public order
1 + 1 = 3 How's that for non-racist, non-patriarchal math, you twat?
Are we going too fast for mouth-breathing liberals?
The next time you hear somebody creepy crawling through your living room at 4:00 a.m., don't call the police, call BLM instead, oh wait, that's probably BLM in your living room already
What's the difference between a transvestite and a transgender? A transvestite has a sense of humor
Expect riots post election in November ... question is, will there be more rioting if Trump wins or if he loses
White privilege means always having to say you're sorry
Reparation: Taking money from people who never owned slaves . . . and giving it to peope who never were slaves
The Pug Bus supports BLM's demand to replace Andrew Jackson's image on the twenty-dollar bill with George Floyd's

image of a biblical dude painting BLM on his front door Gentle Reader, may our lintel proclaim that the Pug Bus has been the satirical friend of black people and the BLM movement since well before the former became the dominant race in the United States and the latter became this country's most fearsome political party.

Not once in our fifteen-year history have we hesitated to mock, insult, degrade, demean, or humiliate someone just because he was black. Hell, we even send up black people by refusing to uppercase the b in black.

Therefore, we loudly signal our support of black-themed satire and parody. We also present our bona fides in that regard: a bunch of the articles about black people that we have done in the past. More links coming soon ... Huzzah!
BLM Declares National White Chocolate Day Racist

Killer Kwanzaa App Suspected of Causing Computer Crashes

Black Lives Matter Calls for Boycott of White Avatars

BLM Threatens to Disrupt Giants-Lions Game This Sunday

image of an 8 ball Home   Ass Hats   Celebrities   Lifestyle   Music   News   Religion   Sports   Technology   Weed   Our Staff   image of an 8 ball
search engine by freefind

image of iconic screaming person
two lions having it off
The Who shortly after pissing on a tall wall
black debutante wiping her ass with the American flag
American Freedm Party
burma shave sign with jingle
subliminal Coca-Cola advert
image of worldwide web on computer screen
image of bicyclist
image of handicapped parking sticker
man on his knees fucking a tail pipe
fly agaric mushroom

The Book of Daze℠
an image
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We surely don't. National Find a Rainbow Day? Fuck that, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else bothers to celebrate, visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.

Your Daily Horoscope
(Ramp Accessible)
Because you are highly possessive, adore your own company, and are inclined to mate for life, you begin a campaign to have self-sex marriages legalized. Your slogan, "Be part of the problem and part of the solution," is too clever by half, and your campaign comes to grief when you are caught making an unauthorized deposit at a sperm bank. More Horoscopes

The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a dried-up, old-biddy Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive or if you dare misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.

Postcards the Book
an image
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-

You Can't Photoshop This image
Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."

The Fuck It List
     image of a big thumb pointing down         image of a big thumb pointing down

Ten Things You Should Quit While Not Going Gently into That Good Night

  1. Organized Religion
  2. Voting
  3. Seat Belts
  4. Making Sure Your Zipper's Up
  5. Paying for Music and Movies
  6. Apologizing for Shit You Didn't Do
  7. Pissing Indoors All the Time
  8. Hauling Your Damn Grandkids Around
  9. Stupid-Ass, Dip-Shit, Old-Fart Hats
10. Bathing or Showering Regularly

image of a gun

Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

Ganjascope℠ Predicts the Death of CBD
Oct 23, 2019 - 5:54
an image
Aries (3/21–4/19): No matter how embarrassed you are by keyboard plaque, do not attempt to remove it with your dab rig torch. CBD tincture is more holistic and effective. Be sure to back up all your files and to close all applications before cleaning. Organic, free-range, chelated CBD tincture works best in northern climates. CBD aerosol spray works better in the South.

Taurus (4/20–5/20): There's a tarot card reader in your future—one who foretells the present. She will inform you that presently you are in Cancun, where you have been chosen grand marshal of the nudist colony’s Halloween Parade. As you can’t be in two places at once, you won’t have to pay her. You're short on rolling papers, anyway.

Gemini (5/21–6/21): Although your gemstone, the cow pie, is not so chic as the gemstones associated with other signs, it has virtues all its own. If your house were built of diamonds, for example, the assessment value would be so high you would probably have to sell off most of the land around it to pay your school taxes.

an image
Cancer (6/22–7/22): You become incalculably rich when you invent Morning-After Mix, a dry cat chow that prevents unwanted pregnancies in cats that didn't come home the night before. Cat owners especially like the layer of Thorazine in every chunk of Morning-After Mix because it keeps cats close to home until they're out of season.

Leo (7/23–8/22): You inherit a large sum of money from an uncle that you never knew. His children, who were blessed with an extravagant talent for mimicry, are not pleased. One of them begins to look more and more like you, while you find it increasingly difficult to recognize yourself in the mirror. Offer them a settlement before it's too late.

Virgo (8/23–9/22): This will be your skinny Elvis month. The world is your hound dog for the thirty days . No longer will you travel at the speed of dark. Wealth, success, adulation, and a jive DEA badge are yours just for opening your mouth. Unfortunately, at the end of the month you will develop a craving for strange food and prescription drugs.

Libra (9/23–10/23): Persistence pays. Do not be afraid to dream just because no one seems interested in the Teletubby pocket fisherman at first. Adding a skeleton key and a roach clip to the mix are the only improvements standing between you and a lucrative appearance on the QVC channel and in Sunday newspaper supplements.

Scorpio (10/24–11/20): When we tossed the CBD-infused Candy Corn of Knowledge, the kernels fell into the shape of either a boot or a cow's udder. We couldn’t make out which because the dog ate the corn, then fell asleep. You will go on a prosperous journey (boot); someone is going to put the squeeze on you (udders); or the dog is going to get sick.

an image
Sagittarius (11/21–12/21): An incontinent sky with clouds the color of soiled Pampers leaks on your parade. Don’t be grossed out. If you want to make watermelon, you’ve got to collect water. That doesn’t mean you should drink that water, unless the moon is full and you’re planning to use it to make Bubba Kush's Midnight Curry, No Hurry Tea, and Foot Lineament.

Capricorn (12/22–1/19): After smoking a half-gram cart of Cresco Labs Blueberry Space Cake on a dare, you are convinced you can evaluate your cat’s mental and physical condition by analyzing the scratching patterns in its litter pan. Your article on the subject is published in Cat Fancy magazine's "Trends of the Future" issue, but the trichomes are knocked of that bud when you discover too late that your cat's pan-scratching profile matches those of rabid felines.

Aquarius (1/20–2/18): Aquarians are prone to passive-aggressive dysfunction. Instead of telling neighborhood bullies where to get off, Aquarians give them bad directions. This only makes the situation worse because hell hath no fury like a bully with road rage looking for the person that told him to take a shortcut past a small, local grow guarded by a German shepherd.

Pisces (2/19–3/20): The key to wealth, riches, and the executive washroom is contained in the answer to the following riddle: If an infinite number of cats scratch for an infinite length of time on an infinitely huge redwood tree, will they produce a bust of Shakespeare or an immense pile of organic kitty litter?
Humor Feed Banner
Red Bull Logo

© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.

Share The
Pug Bus

Daily Local News image
West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a virtue-signalling, marching-band university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a stupid local news story from time to time.

The Pug Bus Blogs On
hillary's basket of deplorables
Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; and more!"

The Pug Bus Interview
image of phil maggitti smoking a funny cigarette
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface.Read on.

Sites for Sore Eyes
image of tj eckleburg's eyes from the great gatsby
Discordianism--the one religion to have if you're having more than one—or or if you're having none at all.

High Times--wanna know what Super Silver Haze is going for near you? Wanna wade your way through a growing shit heap of trendy, female-empowered, social warrior nonsense to find out?

Pirate Bay--indefatigible, unsinkable, and attitude out the ass; still the one-stop shoplifting stop

Soulseek--no spoofs, no lurkers, just good clean music files for free. To hell with those overpriced streaming services. As the Buddha says, "Stream your own shit, mother-fucker."

Spectrum Labs-need to pass a piss test?

Vaults of Erowid-before you drop it, chop it, snort it, or vape it, consult the druggie's bible; your brain with thank you for the effort

ExpressVPN--sturdy, impregnable fortress. It's the VPN service that we here at the Pug Bus use. Don't go digital shoplifting without it.