Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.
Your Virtual GanjaScope
A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.
The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.
There's a Saint for That
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.
Here's to a Brighter Day
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.
Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.
Apple Vies with Google to Market Old White Man App Nov 30, 2015 - 12:05
CUPERTINO, Ca.–Apple and Google are locked in a hair-pulling, eye-gouging, nut-smacking battle to see who can get to market first with an Old White Man (OWM) app. According to a Silicon Valley source, the app will be similar to Grindr, a popular app that helps gay men to locate other gay men who are close enough to shake a dick at—or at least within a fifteen-mile radius.
“Suppose an old white guy wants to rant about today’s worthless college students, but his wife is sick of listening to him,” the source chuckled. “With the OWM app he can find an available kindred spirit and hook up at McDonald’s for coffee.”
If the OWM app were simply a dating service for old straight dudes, it might have been available already; but Apple and Google are working on value-added and social media features that will rival Facebook’s, without the constant hectoring. Encryption and VPN service sturdy enough to thwart the FBI, CIA, MPAA, RIAA, and MSNBC will be standard equipment.
The OWM app will be available in a free version that carries advertising and in a $2.99 model that does not. (You must be at least sixty to purchase either version.) The Apple app will provide the user upon request a list of restaurants sorted by zipcode that offer senior citizen discounts and/or Blue Plate Specials.
Google meanwhile is working on a games suite with titles like Words with Patriots, Profiling the Neighbors, Hangman, and I Got Your Trigger Warming.
Despite whatever differences their final OWM apps contain, both Apple and Google promise their apps will be easy for old folks (even old folks in a sputtering rage) to operate.
Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."
The Pug Bus Interview
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.