postcards from the pug bus
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
Phil Spector died for O.J.'s sins
Who is "Dr." Jill fooling with that bogus educator nonsense?
The woman teaches remedial fucking English
at a stinking community college
Truly amazing, but at least it's a step up
from her former gig as Queen of the Stone Balloon
Happy New Year, same as the Old Year, from the alt right's favorite satire site
STAFF PICKS
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...Whether you do it doggie style or scissors, sister, we've got suggestions for what to read when you're having a cigarette or a blunt afterward ...
(1) Charlotte Church Sobriety Checklist, an angel vomits on her halo;
(2) Jesus Puts the Population of Heaven at 150, lots of room for social distancing;
(3) New Royals Book Lifts Lid Off Queen Eizabeth's Underwear
(2) Jesus Puts the Population of Heaven at 150, lots of room for social distancing;
(3) New Royals Book Lifts Lid Off Queen Eizabeth's Underwear
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The Book of Daze℠
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.
Your Virtual GanjaScope
A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.
The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.
There's a Saint for That
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.
Here's to a Brighter Day
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.
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President Obama Defends Al Jazeera Sports
Jan 7, 2016 - 2:16
The president made his remarks in the wake of spirited attacks on Al Jazeera for its recent report associating Denver Bronco’s backup quarterback Peyton Manning with human growth hormones. After Al Jazeera had published its report last week (first baseman Ryan Howard of the Phillies and first baseman Ryan Zimmerman of the Nationals were also fingered in the report), the mainstream sports media contracted a flaming case of hair on fire. “These people are trying to take down America in any way possible,” growled former Chicago Bears Super Bowl-winning coach Mike Ditka. “They hate us for our football icons because they think they invented football, so now they come after Peyton Manning. Al Jazeera is not a credible news organization. They’re out there spreading garbage. That’s what they do, yet we give them credibility by talking about it.” CBS’s Jim Nantz went Ditka one better, refusing to cover the story at all. “If we talk about it, we only continue to breathe life into a story that, on all levels, is a non-story,” said Mr. Nantz, who declined to mention the allegations in his coverage of last weekend’s Broncos game. “Why add another layer to it?” Messers Nance and Ditka—and other sportscasters like Keith Olbermann, Stephen A. Smith, Jim Rome, and Tony Kornheiser—based their attacks on Al Jazeera on the fact that its star informant, Charlie Sly, issued the following denial before the Al Jazeera story was published: “It has come to my attention that the broadcaster Al Jazeera has somehow obtained recordings or communications of me making statements concerning a number of athletes, and that Al Jazeera plans to air a program about them,” Mr. Sly said in a YouTube post. “To be clear: I am recanting any such statements and there is no truth to any statement of mine that Al Jazeera plans to air. Under no circumstances should any of those statements, recordings or communications be aired.” No biggie, replied Al Jazeerz, we have a second witness ready to confirm the truth of what Charlie Sly is recanting. For his part, President Obama claimed that “other journalists' reflexive dismissal of Al Jazeera's allegations without bothering to examine the evidence says more about the traditional sports media—and its prejudice against a news source with an Arabic name—than it does about the folks on the investigative team at Al Jazeera, which spent eight months on the investigation.” The president then strongly hinted that he might post his 2016 NCAA basketball Tournament brackets on Al Jazeera rather than on ESPN as he has done in the past. Finally, while stopping short of saying the loud, clamoring defense of Mr. Manning was racially motivated, President Obama did say to reporters, "If I had a son who played quarterback, he'd look like Cam Newton." © The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked. |
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