Postcards from the Pug Bus                    
   
   

postcards from the pug bus

  
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
Kobe the Girl Dad
died one year ago today
Kobe the Black Mamba
died long before that
he was the Kobe we admired for so long
girl dads are a dime a dozen
Happy New Year, same as the Old Year, from the alt right's favorite satire site
STAFF PICKS
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Whether you do it doggie style or scissors, sister, we've got suggestions for what to read when you're having a cigarette or a blunt afterward ...

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The Book of Daze℠
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Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . .  The Book of Daze℠.
 
 

Your Virtual GanjaScope
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A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.


The Grammar Prick
 
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.


There's a Saint for That
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There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.



      
image of iconic screaming person
      
two lions having it off
      
The Who shortly after pissing on a tall wall
      
American Freedm Party
      
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subliminal Coca-Cola advert
             
image of worldwide web on computer screen
     
image of bicyclist
  
image of handicapped parking sticker
      
man on his knees fucking a tail pipe
      
fly agaric mushroom

Here's to a Brighter Day
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Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.


              
The Pug Bus Blogs On
seven pugs looking out the back of a Dodge Caravan whose hatch is raised
Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; the rise of the alt-middle; and more!"

Yesterdays' Papers
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Read any two of these classic articles from May 2005 and get the third one for free. Pay only for shipping and handling. Offer good while supplies last.

US Prepared for Flu Pandemic Says Bush
A case of deja vu in reverse or what?

Johnny Depp to Read at Hunter S. Thompson Memorial
Johnny wore a wife-beater then he became one.

Mena Suvari Seeks Separation from Mira Sorvino
So who'd you rather . . . or rather not.

Local News
West Chester University Golden Ram  image
West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a woke university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a mean-spirited, condescending local news story from time to time.


Pug Bus Quizzes 'n' Polls
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No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."



Postcards the Book
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The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-




You Can't Photoshop This
 

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."

 

The Pug Bus Interview
image of phil maggitti, the pug bus editor
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.


 
   

image of a gun Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

 
 
  Quit Calling It a Fucking Mural
        Jul 13, 2020 - 11:39
       
an image
WEST GOSHEN TWP, Pa.–A distressing number of Black Lives Matter "murals" have sprouted up recently like so many mushrooms out of a mycelium of resentment and hate. That doesn't necessarily mean shit to a toad, but the inclination of the press to refer to these eruptions respectfully as "murals" makes me wonder if they've ever seen a real mural. It also makes me wonder if black people will ever wake up to the fact that their minders, both black and white, treat them like mushrooms: keeping ‘em in the dark and feeding ‘em dung.

To begin, a mural is defined as "relating to, or resembling a wall; applied to and made integral with a wall or ceiling surface." There's no mention of streets in that definition, bro. What’s more, shouldn't a "mural" have more than two colors, lest it be mistaken for a paint-by-numbers exercise for slow learners? Or a group therapy project writ too large?

Nevertheless, street painting has been elevated to the status of “murals” by a fawning and obsequious press, the same crowd that declared rap was poetry back in the day. That crowd doesn’t see the difference between Robert Browning’s “That’s my last duchess hanging on the wall” and Kanye West’s “I know she like chocolate men / She got more niggas off then Cochran.”

        Persons whose bias prevents them from acknowledging the difference between real murals and BLM street “murals,” should consider these illustrations. One is a real mural, created by a person with an idea, working pretty much in solitude, a certain indication of white privilege for sure. The other is something the mayor said it was OK to paint on the street and was willing, in at least one case, to assist the “artists” in painting … in the hope of preventing unauthorized shopping sprees, also known as QVC for looters.

So much for what motivates mayors; what about the press? For starters (and finishers), “Journalists' brains show a lower-than-average level of executive functioning … which means they have a below-average ability to regulate their emotions, suppress biases, solve complex problems, switch between tasks, and show creative and flexible thinking.”

That last, from a study referenced by Business Insider, explains why such notions as affirmative action, trigger warnings, busing, and the cancel culture keep flourishing and re-flourishing like mushrooms popping up out of the cow pies of popular culture.

Like the poor, those cow pies are always with us. I first encountered one when I taught English in an all-black junior high school in 1965. I was part of a group of teachers asked to judge student essays, the best five of which would be featured in the main lobby’s trophy case. We were instructed to judge the essays for content, original thought, expression, and other non-quantifiables. Leave those red pens in the desk. Grammar, punctuation, and even spelling are irrelevant.

“Jump back,” I thought. “Are semiliterate kids part of the goals of the Great Society, too?”

That’s when I began referring to myself as the foreign language teacher. That’s also why I believe the bog-standard BLM “mural” isn’t worth a thousand words. It is even worth three.
   

© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.

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