Postcards from the Pug Bus                    

postcards from the pug bus

lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
Phil Spector died for O.J.'s sins
Who is "Dr." Jill fooling with that bogus educator nonsense?
The woman teaches remedial fucking English
at a stinking community college
Truly amazing, but at least it's a step up
from her former gig as Queen of the Stone Balloon
Happy New Year, same as the Old Year, from the alt right's favorite satire site
four dogs in a row having sex from behind...
Whether you do it doggie style or scissors, sister, we've got suggestions for what to read when you're having a cigarette or a blunt afterward ...

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The Book of Daze℠
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Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . .  The Book of Daze℠.

Your Virtual GanjaScope
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A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.

The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.

There's a Saint for That
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There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.

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two lions having it off
The Who shortly after pissing on a tall wall
American Freedm Party
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subliminal Coca-Cola advert
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image of bicyclist
image of handicapped parking sticker
man on his knees fucking a tail pipe
fly agaric mushroom

Here's to a Brighter Day
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Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.

The Pug Bus Blogs On
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Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; the rise of the alt-middle; and more!"

Yesterdays' Papers
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Read any two of these classic articles from May 2005 and get the third one for free. Pay only for shipping and handling. Offer good while supplies last.

US Prepared for Flu Pandemic Says Bush
A case of deja vu in reverse or what?

Johnny Depp to Read at Hunter S. Thompson Memorial
Johnny wore a wife-beater then he became one.

Mena Suvari Seeks Separation from Mira Sorvino
So who'd you rather . . . or rather not.

Local News
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West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a woke university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a mean-spirited, condescending local news story from time to time.

Pug Bus Quizzes 'n' Polls
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No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."

Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-

You Can't Photoshop This

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."


The Pug Bus Interview
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Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.


image of a gun Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

  The Alt-Middle: the Silent White Majority
        Aug 9, 2020 - 7:38
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WEST GOSHEN, Pa.–White is a color that comes in many flavors. There are White Supremacists, White Nationalists, White Separatists, and other, whiter shades of pale. Such groups, no matter what their flavor, are demonized and minimized by their progressive opponents as "the alt-right fringe."

These progressive snowflakes, no two of which are different, seek to keep the alt in altercation. In their verdict, to be "alt right" is to be "whitewashed" with the stain of original sin (racism) which comes in only one color (white) and which doesn't come off.

In truth, most conservative white Americans should be categorized as "alt-middle," a much larger cohort comprising cheerful, self-sufficient, non-threatening types whom you seldom notice because they don't have a litany of demands for their local, state, or federal governments to meet ... who start fires only in their own backyards ... who make reservations in advance for restaurants instead of showing up at the last minute with a party of twenty and a trash can ... who don't go waving guns around in public ... who don't have a problem with irony, the Electoral College, or the police ... indeed, who get along well with the police ... who don't claim to be better than anybody else ... who don't have the time or the energy to start their own country ... but who, nevertheless, prefer Midsomer Murders to The Wire because they are comfortable in their own skins and most comfortable seeing those skins reflected on the faces of the people they meet. (And because they watch television to be entertained, not to be enlightened.)

This should not be cause for concern. It's human nature, Skippy. DuckDuck "self-segregation" (you're not still using Google, we hope), and you will find that while college administrators are dutifully shoving rainbow suppositories up their butts, incoming "freshpersons" are asking for "roommate reassignment" before they even set Birkenstocks on campus.

A student from India who had chosen Emory University for its bog-standard commitment to diversity, complained after three years, "With 21 percent Asian/Asian-American, 9 percent Latino, 9.5 percent black, and 17 percent international students, Emory has a diverse student body that should be intermingling and learning together, not self-segregating." (Emphasis added.)

That's Emory, Pranati. That's everywhere else, too, mate. Ad Age reminds us, "Digital Divide: Segregation Is Alive and Well in Social Media." CNN declares, "Only about 5 percent of the nation's churches are racially integrated." A Pew survey, reported in The Guardian, found that "acceptance of out-marriage to whites (81%) was higher than acceptance of out-marriage to Asians (75%), Hispanics (73%) or blacks (66%)."

Progressives can urge the rest of us to "lean in" and to have, at long fucking last, that conversation about race they keep yammering about, but the fact is: race relations in this country are long past their FUBAR date. BLM and other race hustlers know that and make outlandish demands because confrontation trumps compromise when the wheels come off. Let white people stand in a circle, hold hands, and sing "Imagine." Their brothers and sisters of color will be milling about in the streets chanting "Fuck tha po-lice" and dictating terms.

Until the alt-middle comes up with terms of its own, it will remain the silent majority. Hidden in plain sight. Not knowing its own strength yet. Accused of being overly fond of camping, Halloween, Mad Men, hummus, Frisbee sports, statistics, and Phish. So what? When we realize our strength, no doubt others will start to realize it, too.

© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.

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