Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.
Your Virtual GanjaScope
A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.
The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.
There's a Saint for That
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.
Here's to a Brighter Day
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.
Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.
West Chester University Student Wins Grammar Prick's Shitty Writing Award Nov 12, 2019 - 12:32
In today's lesson, boys and girls, the Grammar Prick will attempt to teach you how not to write like an Arschloch. The best way to do that is by example. So here's an example of "writing" so incontrovertibly bad that it wins the first leg of the Grammar Prick's Shitty Writing Award. Before we begin with the dissection, however, we should thank The Quad, West Chester University's student newspaper, for coughing up this instructive hairball.
We are not revealing the "writer's" name out of consideration for his parents' feelings. Besides there were many other worthy examples of Beschissen writing in The Quad. We were especially dumbfounded by a piece entitled "West Chester Police controversy and global feminism." Jesus Fucking Christ, give us a break. And now, we murder to dissect.
"The beginning of each fall semester marks a turning point in our college experience. As autumn flaunts its turning colors, we too are left to reflect on our own. We’re free to mull over past loves, flourishing passions and the stale musk of repressed dread for post-graduate life. With the changing of the seasons comes a change in our cravings. In the air, subtle wafts of yearning penetrate a tame — yet vibrant — backdrop of pumpkin-spiced hayrides and cinnamon-scented frollicks through orchards of waning green and burgeoning orange. We’ve patiently waited while yet another of our increasingly long summers draw to a close and with that, an air crisper than ever fills our lungs."
Oh, fuck me. Where to begin? Should I even begin? I'd sooner smoke a full-gram cart of street-quality Dank in one sitting than contend with all that "stale musk of repressed dread" and all those "pumpkin-spiced hayrides and cinnamon-scented frollicks [sic] through orchards of waning green and burgeoning orange."
The Grammar Prick has frolicked through many an orchard in his day, but none smelled like cinnamon, boys and girls, and he's here to tell you that this sort of "writing" will make you smell like a strutting, vainglorious, popinjay with a taste for pretension and cliché.
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The Pug Bus Interview
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.