postcards from the pug bus
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
Phil Spector died for O.J.'s sins
Who is "Dr." Jill fooling with that bogus educator nonsense?
The woman teaches remedial fucking English
at a stinking community college
Truly amazing, but at least it's a step up
from her former gig as Queen of the Stone Balloon
Happy New Year, same as the Old Year, from the alt right's favorite satire site
STAFF PICKS
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...Whether you do it doggie style or scissors, sister, we've got suggestions for what to read when you're having a cigarette or a blunt afterward ...
(1) Charlotte Church Sobriety Checklist, an angel vomits on her halo;
(2) Jesus Puts the Population of Heaven at 150, lots of room for social distancing;
(3) New Royals Book Lifts Lid Off Queen Eizabeth's Underwear
(2) Jesus Puts the Population of Heaven at 150, lots of room for social distancing;
(3) New Royals Book Lifts Lid Off Queen Eizabeth's Underwear
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The Book of Daze℠
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.
Your Virtual GanjaScope
A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.
The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.
There's a Saint for That
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.
Here's to a Brighter Day
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.
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What Did Pope Francis Know and When Did He Know It?
Oct 5, 2015 - 7:33
The “cool pope” would never do such an uncool thing as meet with that woman, the county clerk who went to jail rather than issue marriage licenses to gay couples, would he? The “cool pope” isn’t opposed to same-sex marriage, is he? Why, that would make the “cool pope” just a multilingual Rick Santorum in a white dress. There must be a good reason (or several of them) for why that meeting took place by mistake—or for why it never occurred at all. Here, we’ll give you some. Take two or three if you need them. 10. The Holy Father thought she was the cleaning lady, and because he was in a good mood and he had some rosaries left over, he gave her one. 9. The devil made him do it. 8. Francis never even saw Kim Davis because there were seventy other people in the room, all of whom are taller than she is. 7. His Holiness thought he was meeting Jill Biden because he had heard someone say, “Her husband’s name is ‘Joe.’” 6. Francis was wearing his clear-lens, no-magnification glasses—because the frames go better with his purple-velvet-lined cape— and therefore he couldn’t see a damn thing.
4. Why isn't anybody talking about the fact that no doves were killed at this "alleged" meeting? 3. She was wearing a burka. 2. Francis figured she was there to help with the foot washing. 1. The pontiff mistook her for his second cousin, Angelina, an Argentinian drug mule. © The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked. |
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Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.
