postcards from the pug bus
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
Phil Spector died for O.J.'s sins
Who is "Dr." Jill fooling with that bogus educator nonsense?
The woman teaches remedial fucking English
at a stinking community college
Truly amazing, but at least it's a step up
from her former gig as Queen of the Stone Balloon
Happy New Year, same as the Old Year, from the alt right's favorite satire site
STAFF PICKS
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...Whether you do it doggie style or scissors, sister, we've got suggestions for what to read when you're having a cigarette or a blunt afterward ...
(1) Charlotte Church Sobriety Checklist, an angel vomits on her halo;
(2) Jesus Puts the Population of Heaven at 150, lots of room for social distancing;
(3) New Royals Book Lifts Lid Off Queen Eizabeth's Underwear
(2) Jesus Puts the Population of Heaven at 150, lots of room for social distancing;
(3) New Royals Book Lifts Lid Off Queen Eizabeth's Underwear
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The Book of Daze℠
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.
Your Virtual GanjaScope
A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.
The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.
There's a Saint for That
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.
Here's to a Brighter Day
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.
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When Francis Met Kim
Oct 1, 2015 - 12:02
According to Inside the Vatican, the meeting took place on Thursday, September 24, following Francis’ address to Congress and preceding his flight to New York City. “Pope Francis received, spoke with, and embraced Kim Davis—the Kentucky County Clerk who was jailed in early September for refusing to sign the marriage licenses of homosexual couples who wished to have their civil marriages certified by the state of Kentucky. Also present was Kim’s [second and fourth] husband, Joe Davis.” The Davises were in Washington because Kim was scheduled to receive a “Cost of Discipleship” award on Friday, September 25, from The Family Research Council at the Omni Shoreham Hotel. When the Pope learned that Mrs. Davis was going to be in Washington at the same time he was, he reached out to her via email. When Pope Francis entered the meeting room, “Kim greeted him, and the two embraced,” per Inside the Vatican. There is, as yet, no record, photographic or otherwise, of their meeting, but a source close to the Vatican acknowledged that the Pope is “fascinated” by Mrs. Davis, who, he thinks, bears a resemblance to Mary Magdalen. Jesus, as you might recall, was not only fond of Ms. Magdalen but also, according to some New Testament scholars, knew her inside and out.
“At first I was hesitant,” said Mrs. Davis, “but when Francis assured me that there would be no one else in the room, I said OK.” A source close to the Davis entourage, who was also close to the door of the room, reported hearing giggling and the pope imploring, “Per favore possa io lavare i graziosa della vagina?” “It was an extraordinary moment,” Mrs. Davis said afterward. “‘Stay strong and douche frequently,’ he said to me. Then he gave me a rosary that he had blessed and this picture of some guy named Beau. He also gave a rosary to my husband, Joe. I broke into tears. I was deeply moved. “Then he said to me, ‘Please pray for me.’ And I said to him, ‘Please pray for me also, Holy Father.’ And he assured me that he would pray for me.” © The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked. |
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