Postcards from the Pug Bus                    
   
   

postcards from the pug bus

  
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
Hillary Clinton blames her election loss on white supremacy
ex-Prince Harry and Whatsherface desperately seeking a nickname
Microsoft introduces new anal font "for assholes with something on their minds"
White women can't jump, either
Ashli Babbitt proved that . . . "bang, you're dead"
Happy New Year, same as the Old Year, from the alt right's favorite satire site
STAFF PICKS
four dogs in a row having sex from behind...
Whether you do it doggie style or scissors, sister, we've got suggestions for what to read when you're having a cigarette or a blunt afterward ...

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The Book of Daze℠
image of an old-fashion pinup calendar
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . .  The Book of Daze℠.
 
 

Your Virtual GanjaScope
an image of a man smoking pot
A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.


The Grammar Prick
 
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.


There's a Saint for That
patron saints for hire image
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.



      
image of iconic screaming person
      
two lions having it off
      
The Who shortly after pissing on a tall wall
      
American Freedm Party
      
burma shave sign with jingle
        
subliminal Coca-Cola advert
             
image of worldwide web on computer screen
     
image of bicyclist
  
image of handicapped parking sticker
      
man on his knees fucking a tail pipe
      
fly agaric mushroom

Here's to a Brighter Day
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Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.


              
The Pug Bus Blogs On
seven pugs looking out the back of a Dodge Caravan whose hatch is raised
Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; the rise of the alt-middle; and more!"

Yesterdays' Papers
image of a bunch of newspapers
Read any two of these classic articles from May 2005 and get the third one for free. Pay only for shipping and handling. Offer good while supplies last.

US Prepared for Flu Pandemic Says Bush
A case of deja vu in reverse or what?

Johnny Depp to Read at Hunter S. Thompson Memorial
Johnny wore a wife-beater then he became one.

Mena Suvari Seeks Separation from Mira Sorvino
So who'd you rather . . . or rather not.

Local News
West Chester University Golden Ram  image
West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a woke university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a mean-spirited, condescending local news story from time to time.


Pug Bus Quizzes 'n' Polls
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No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."



Postcards the Book
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The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-




You Can't Photoshop This
 

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."

 

The Pug Bus Interview
image of phil maggitti, the pug bus editor
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.


 
   

image of a gun Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

 
 
  Windows 10 Officially Labeled Malware by NCSA
        Oct 19, 2015 - 4:50
        CARLISLE, Pa.—The National Computer Security Association (NCSA) has announced that Windows 10, the aggressively marketed new operating system from Microsoft, now qualifies as malware. The NCSA, headquartered in Carlisle, Pennsylvania, made the announcement after receiving “countless troubling reports” of Microsoft’s having “gone rogue” in promoting and distributing Windows 10.

“Microsoft’s disregard for the integrity of the computer experience—not to mention the rights and privacy of consumers—leaves us with no choice but to declare Windows 10 malware and to warn people not to install it on their computers,” said the NCSA’s chief contact, Richard Huffman. “If it smells like malware and it acts like malware, it’s malware.”

Windows 10’s descent into the underworld began months before its July 29 launch when a ghostly, all-white Windows icon began to appear unbidden in the system trays of computers running Windows 7 or 8, alerting users that the new absolutely free version of Windows 10 would be available soon and that persons interested in obtaining a copy absolutely free during the year following its release could sign up now for that upgrade.

Intrusive? Perhaps, but not remarkably so in this post-privacy, pop-up-ads-over-urinals digital age. Besides, anybody who wanted to get rid of this intruder, whoops, getting rid of the look-at-me-look-at-me-look-at-me icon turned out to be more difficult than getting rid of bed bugs—and much less likely to be permanent. Your humble author learned this after finding and following instructions for removing the goddamn icon from the system tray of his Windows-7-running HP Notebook g4 series, only to see that fucker raise its passive-aggressive head in the same system tray two days later. Sadly your humble author caved in, closed his eyes, bit the pillow, installed Windows 10, didn’t care for it, then rolled that notebook back to Windows 7 Home Premium.

The righteous smile of relief had not yet faded from his face when what to his wandering eye should appear? Yep, right there in the system tray, like a turd in a punch bowl, that fucking Windows 10-pimping icon. It’s still there, he’s still ignoring it, but that’s like living with a slight-yet-terminal wedgie.

Others have fared worse. Not satisfied when Windows 10 upgrades passed 100 million, Microsoft became obsessed with shoving that bumptious pussy fart of an icon, and the operating system it shills, into our faces. Microsoft next began downloading Windows 10 onto people’s computers whether they had requested a download or not. At that point, if you were fool enough to click on that stinking all-white icon, which occasionally began blinking and winking like a mare in estrus, you were presented with a dialog box asking if you wanted to install Windows 10 now or later. Missing was the I-don’t-want-to-install-this-fucking-software-at-all option.

       
an image
Still not satisfied that they had left no tern unstoned, Microsoft jumped the shark and began doing full-frontal Windows 10 installs automatically on unsuspecting, often sleeping-in-the-middle-of-the-night, computers because of an “accident” in the company’s software-allocation-and-delivery gateway.

Microsoft’s you-can-check-out-any-time-you-like-but-you-can-never-leave policy is reminiscent of the “Norton Is Forever” campaign, a refusal to allow people to cancel the Norton Utilities software that comes with every new computer—even after the six-month free-trial period has expired.

Unless Windows 10 adopters read the fine print that tells them they can uninstall the software only within a month of upgrading to it, they are screwed pooches: after that the software cannot be removed. Like Norton Utilities, Windows 10 is forever, and there ain’t nothing you can do about it, Skippy.

“The first step in protecting your computer is to ensure that your OS (operating system) is up to date,” says Mr. Huffman, “but when it’s your OS that’s causing the problem, who are you gonna call then?”

Other observers point out that Windows Defender and Windows Firewall are not robust enough to detect malicious activity on the part of Windows 10 and its hypersensitive installer.

So if you’re looking for a bluebird, we’d suggest keeping your head covered, because once you have installed Windows 10, Microsoft will begin spamming you with unceasing requests for feedback. Meanwhile a nation turns its lonely eyes to Linux, wondering if that experiment will ever be ready for prime time.
   

© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.

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