Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We surely don't. National Find a Rainbow Day? Fuck that, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else bothers to celebrate, visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.
Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."
The Fuck It List
Ten Things You Should Quit While Not Going Gently into That Good Night
3. Seat Belts
4. FOX Fucking News
5. Paying for Music and Movies
6. Picking Up Pills That You Drop
7. Pissing Indoors
8. Talking Baby Talk to Children
9. Stupid-ass, Dip-Shit, Old Fart Hats
10. Bathing or Showering Regularly
Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.
National Butt Plug Day, Apple's iPlug Response Nov 26, 2019 - 3:05
SAN FRANCISCO, CA—Apple CEO Tim Cook has a major surprise up his sleeve, at very least, as Apple throws its support behind National Butt Plug Day. “The iPlug, a combination thumb drive and butt plug, will be rolled out today," said an inside source at Apple. “Expect Tim to be wearing one at today’s launch.”
In the event that you haven't found a place in your life for butt plugs yet, said devices are meant to be inserted into the rectum for the purpose of providing sexual pleasure—a service they have been rendering since their invention in 1892. Leave it to Apple, however, after reinventing the phone and the portable music player, to see the light at the end of the tunnel beyond the butt plug’s heretofore limited use.
According to the source at Apple, the iPlug can store up to 1 gig of data and to sync via bluetooth with any Apple device, providing unmatched security and portability, not to mention the aforementioned pleasure. It will be available in several colors, but only one flavor. The MSPR is "in the neighborhood of $75."