postcards from the pug bus
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
Hillary Clinton blames her election loss on white supremacy
ex-Prince Harry and Whatsherface desperately seeking a nickname
Microsoft introduces new anal font "for assholes with something on their minds"
White women can't jump, either
Ashli Babbitt proved that . . . "bang, you're dead"
Happy New Year, same as the Old Year, from the alt right's favorite satire site
STAFF PICKS
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...Whether you do it doggie style or scissors, sister, we've got suggestions for what to read when you're having a cigarette or a blunt afterward ...
(1) Charlotte Church Sobriety Checklist, an angel vomits on her halo;
(2) Jesus Puts the Population of Heaven at 150, lots of room for social distancing;
(3) New Royals Book Lifts Lid Off Queen Eizabeth's Underwear
(2) Jesus Puts the Population of Heaven at 150, lots of room for social distancing;
(3) New Royals Book Lifts Lid Off Queen Eizabeth's Underwear
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The Book of Daze℠
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.
Your Virtual GanjaScope
A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.
The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.
There's a Saint for That
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.
Here's to a Brighter Day
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.
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U.S. Satire Site Beaks Dark Web Death Threat Story
Dec 14, 2019 - 7:59
Nightmare Market went tits up. People were pissed. Site administrators, owners, vendors, and clients—who thought their bitcoins were safe in Nightmare Market's keeping—learned one day that they were funding what should be a lavish albeit furtive lifestyle for Mr. Morozov. (More about those facial tattoos later.) Postcards from the Pug Bus is the first U.S. satire site to break this story. We discovered it while following a lead about opiod-laced Christmas ornaments on the DW. When we attempted to access Nightmare Market, we found a broadside on its opening and only page that put Mr. Morozov's name in the digital street and his head in real-time cross hairs. What follow are excerpts from this digital death sentence.
The implied death threat in the first line is chilling. Even if it is undercut by the passive-aggressive cliches that follow, Mr. Morozov is still wanted more dead than alive, and the Nightmare author makes sure Mr. Morozov's enemies will have no trouble finding him. He is resident of Belarus, but all his family lives in Italy. He have visited them many times, during chilling in Europe. His family instagram (Mom, Dad, live in an italian village)instagram.com/morozova_volga/ Despite the silly facial tattoos that make him stand out like a lovesick virgin in a whorehouse, Mr. Morozov has managed to elude detection thus far. He even has his defenders. The website groupsense reports, "exit scams happen when the market admins want to steal $10 million or when the admins are close to being arrested. [They] exit with [the] BTC [in escrow] and disappear. They don’t care about normal users losing money.” It appears that Nightmare Market was no exception. It seems as if the administrators were tempted by the significant funds in escrow, and cashed out." (Emphasis added.) Postcards from the Pug Bus, with its vast Dark Web expertise, will remain on top of this story, bringing details to you as they emerge. © The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked. |
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