Postcards from the Pug Bus                    

postcards from the pug bus

lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
Hillary Clinton blames her election loss on white supremacy
ex-Prince Harry and Whatsherface desperately seeking a nickname
Microsoft introduces new anal font "for assholes with something on their minds"
White women can't jump, either
Ashli Babbitt proved that . . . "bang, you're dead"
Happy New Year, same as the Old Year, from the alt right's favorite satire site
four dogs in a row having sex from behind...
Whether you do it doggie style or scissors, sister, we've got suggestions for what to read when you're having a cigarette or a blunt afterward ...

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The Book of Daze℠
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Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . .  The Book of Daze℠.

Your Virtual GanjaScope
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A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.

The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.

There's a Saint for That
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There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.

image of iconic screaming person
two lions having it off
The Who shortly after pissing on a tall wall
American Freedm Party
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subliminal Coca-Cola advert
image of worldwide web on computer screen
image of bicyclist
image of handicapped parking sticker
man on his knees fucking a tail pipe
fly agaric mushroom

Here's to a Brighter Day
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Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.

The Pug Bus Blogs On
seven pugs looking out the back of a Dodge Caravan whose hatch is raised
Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; the rise of the alt-middle; and more!"

Yesterdays' Papers
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Read any two of these classic articles from May 2005 and get the third one for free. Pay only for shipping and handling. Offer good while supplies last.

US Prepared for Flu Pandemic Says Bush
A case of deja vu in reverse or what?

Johnny Depp to Read at Hunter S. Thompson Memorial
Johnny wore a wife-beater then he became one.

Mena Suvari Seeks Separation from Mira Sorvino
So who'd you rather . . . or rather not.

Local News
West Chester University Golden Ram  image
West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a woke university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a mean-spirited, condescending local news story from time to time.

Pug Bus Quizzes 'n' Polls
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No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."

Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-

You Can't Photoshop This

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."


The Pug Bus Interview
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Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.


image of a gun Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

  U.S. Satire Site Beaks Dark Web Death Threat Story
        Dec 14, 2019 - 7:59
an image
WEST GOSHEN TWP, Pa—Kirill Morozov is a twenty-year-old from Belarus with a bad haircut, incriminating facial tattoos, and hell hounds on his trail. Several months ago Mr. Morozov allegedly stole most of the bitcoin from Nightmare Market, the Dark Web (DW) drug-slinging site where he was employed. The amount has never been specified, but given the scope of similar DW exit scams and of police drug-site take downs, it was probably colossal. Nightmare Market had total listings of 47.4k as of June 2019, per DarknetStats.

Nightmare Market went tits up. People were pissed. Site administrators, owners, vendors, and clients—who thought their bitcoins were safe in Nightmare Market's keeping—learned one day that they were funding what should be a lavish albeit furtive lifestyle for Mr. Morozov. (More about those facial tattoos later.)

Postcards from the Pug Bus is the first U.S. satire site to break this story. We discovered it while following a lead about opiod-laced Christmas ornaments on the DW. When we attempted to access Nightmare Market, we found a broadside on its opening and only page that put Mr. Morozov's name in the digital street and his head in real-time cross hairs. What follow are excerpts from this digital death sentence.

Have you visited his funeral?
Kirill Morozov
Ex admin of Nightmare. Thief and bastard.
No problems, your life is your life.
We wish you a good luck in spending our Bitcoins.

The implied death threat in the first line is chilling. Even if it is undercut by the passive-aggressive cliches that follow, Mr. Morozov is still wanted more dead than alive, and the Nightmare author makes sure Mr. Morozov's enemies will have no trouble finding him.
He is resident of Belarus, but all his family lives in Italy. He have visited them many times, during chilling in Europe. His family instagram (Mom, Dad, live in an italian village)

His own instagram:
See you on the other side bitch! If LE [law reinforcement] won't get you due to their stupidity, we will cut your fingers out by ourselves!

Despite the silly facial tattoos that make him stand out like a lovesick virgin in a whorehouse, Mr. Morozov has managed to elude detection thus far. He even has his defenders. The website groupsense reports, "exit scams happen when the market admins want to steal $10 million or when the admins are close to being arrested. [They] exit with [the] BTC [in escrow] and disappear. They don’t care about normal users losing money.” It appears that Nightmare Market was no exception. It seems as if the administrators were tempted by the significant funds in escrow, and cashed out." (Emphasis added.)

Postcards from the Pug Bus, with its vast Dark Web expertise, will remain on top of this story, bringing details to you as they emerge.

© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.

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