postcards from the pug bus
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Welcome to the Alt-Middle's favorite satire site
What sort of fool brings a knife to a gun fight?
Election 2020: a never was vs. a never should be...make your vote count, don't vote, it's a mope's game
“The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.” (Winston Churchill)
Let's defund the parking meter police
What doesn't kill you will weaken you
So how does felt experience arise out of non-sentient matter, anyway?
"Che stronzi sono le persone." (T. Soprano)

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The Book of Daze℠
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Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We surely don't. National Find a Rainbow Day? Fuck that, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else bothers to celebrate, visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.

Your Daily Ganjascope
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Sagittarius (11/22 - 12/21): Your love of Calypso's Grape Fizz live resin carts conspire to produce a full-blown paradoxical reaction to life. Whenever you vape it up, dandruff shampoo turns you into a blizzard with feet. Cough medication makes you hack and sputter like a flooded outboard motor. Deodorant produces a rancid, road-kill aroma about your personal zones. I'd lay off the Beano, contraceptive devices, and hemorrhoid preparations if I were you. More Ganjascopes

The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a dried-up, old-biddy Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive or if you dare misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.

Postcards the Book
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The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-

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Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."

The Fuck It List
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Ten Things You Should Quit While Not Going Gently into That Good Night

  1. Organized Religion
  2. Voting
  3. Seat Belts
  4. Making Sure Your Zipper's Up
  5. Paying for Music and Movies
  6. Apologizing for Shit You Didn't Do
  7. Pissing Indoors All the Time
  8. Hauling Your Damn Grandkids Around
  9. Stupid-Ass, Dip-Shit, Old-Fart Hats
10. Bathing or Showering Regularly

The National Basketball Association Can Go Fuck Itself
Aug 30, 2020 - 7:55
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WEST GOSHEN TWP, Pa.–If I ever watch another minute of another NBA game, I hope the god that I don't believe in strikes me dead nine ways to Sunday. I'm seeking a their-fault divorce. I have canceled my subscription to the all-you-can-watch NBA League Pass. This interracial marriage cannot be saved.

On August 26 the NBA (National Blackness Association) went on strike because a knife-carrying black man, whose name I will not mention so as not to glorify the inglorious, was shot and wounded by police responding to a domestic situation in Kenosha, Wisconsin. (Enough with that "Say his name" shit already.)

Because the policeman/shooter is white, the predictable free-shopping sprees ensued and Kenosha boasts fewer intact windows than it did before the shooting.

The NBA work stoppage inspired by this event began when the Milwaukee Bucks refused to play the Orlando Magic because Bucks players had an acute collective case of the vapors over the shooting in Kenosha. The Bucks led the Magic 3-1 in the seven-game series at the time, so obviously the Bucks saw an opportunity to do a little virtue signaling, forfeit the game, and still win the series. (We doubt that even the most socially conscious members of the Magic were thrilled with that kind of black-on-black disrespect.)

The NBA being nothing if not a monkey-see-monkey-do players club, the teams scheduled to play on August 27 did not show up either; and two teams--L.A. Lakers and L.A. Clippers--voted to shit can the whole season in the name of racial justice.

When the media got wind of the players' antics, praise for their "bravery" flowed like Dom Perignon in a strip club. There was highfalutin talk about the "evolution" of the athletes' social consciences. LeBron James, one of the stump-dumbest people in the world, suddenly started reading books and attempting to talk about them in public. A hack named Drew Magary wrote in the San Francisco Chronicle, where else, that you're either with the NBA players or you suck. A graying, feckless ex-president announced how proud he was of the players for showing the way.

Horseshit, Barry! How brave is it to bail on a game at the last minute when there are no fans in attendance because of COVID-19 concerns? "Brave" would be walking out on 20,000 people jacked up on beer and bad music.

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Yo, this shit's better than MD 20/20.
As our nation turns its lonely eyes to athletes for moral guidance, god help us, we are reminded of the fuss people made over those Parkland High School kids a few years ago. They were supposed to show us clueless adults the way to a gun-free, all-you-need-is-love society. (My favorite was the dyke in the buzz cut.)

Whatever happened to those Wunder Kinder? Yup. Gone. Yesterday's papers. Same thing's gonna happen to the philosopher-athletes of the NBA. Fade to black.

The Wunder Kinder, at least, had innocence and naivete on their side. Most NBA players haven't been innocent since they were three and first learned to drink Colt 45 out of a paper bag. The league has its own crime library website, for Christ's sake. So does the National Football League. Odd that the movement for social justice is being led by people with more experience with the criminal justice system.

The conservative white man's burden in this fiasco is, once again, corporate America and its WINO (white in name only) executives. They are all Goodyear, my friends: FedEx for severing ties with the Washington Redskins over their name and asking others to sever ties with the Skins; Ben & Jerry's for its open support of BLM; Papa Johns for firing its CEO for criticizing the NFL.

There are scads of other examples on The Consumer Watchdog Website for Safer Investing. Check them out instead of watching basketball, then read Douglass Murray's books "The Strange Death of Europe" and "The Madness of Crowds." Great stuff. He's no LeBron James, of course, but how can he be, he's white.

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West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a virtue-signalling, marching-band university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a stupid local news story from time to time.

The Pug Bus Blogs On
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Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; and more!"

The Pug Bus Quiz Challenge
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No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."

The Pug Bus Interview
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Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface.Read on.

Sites for Sore Eyes
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Discordianism--the one religion to have if you're having more than one—or or if you're having none at all.

High Times--wanna know what Super Silver Haze is going for near you? Wanna wade your way through a growing shit heap of trendy, female-empowered, social warrior nonsense to find out?

Pirate Bay--indefatigible, unsinkable, and attitude out the ass; still the one-stop shoplifting stop

Soulseek--no spoofs, no lurkers, just good clean music files for free. To hell with those overpriced streaming services. As the Buddha says, "Stream your own shit, mother-fucker."

Spectrum Labs-need to pass a piss test?

Vaults of Erowid-before you drop it, chop it, snort it, or vape it, consult the druggie's bible; your brain with thank you for the effort

ExpressVPN--sturdy, impregnable fortress. It's the VPN service that we here at the Pug Bus use. Don't go digital shoplifting without it.