Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We surely don't. National Find a Rainbow Day? Fuck that, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else bothers to celebrate, visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.
Presenting the astrological world's first Ganjascope, a timeless foretelling that reveals your past, present, and future at once. We take the logical out of astrological.
The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a dried-up, old-biddy Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive or if you dare misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.
Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.
Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."
The Fuck It List
Ten Things You Should Quit While Not Going Gently into That Good Night
1. Religion
2. Voting
3. Seat Belts
4. FOX Fucking News
5. Paying for Music and Movies
6. Picking Up Pills That You Drop
7. Pissing Indoors
8. Talking Baby Talk to Children
9. Stupid-ass, Dip-Shit, Old Fart Hats
10. Bathing or Showering Regularly
Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.
National Kick the Cat Day, Why Cats Hate It Nov 24, 2019 - 4:41
WEST CHESTER, PA—Although we celebrate National Kick the Cat Day, we do not advocate kicking cats literally; and we hasten to assure you that no cats were harmed during the writing of this monograph. We celebrate, instead, the existential notion of "kicking the cat" as a means of relieving stress, anger, hostility, rage, or sexual tension. In order for said kicking to be considered "humane," the person doing the kicking should be a high-ranking individual in an organization or family, while the recipient of the kick is a person of lower rank or caste, who may, in turn, pay the kick forward to one of his or her inferiors. This domino effect can be observed dentro casa when the father yells at the mother who later yells at the older child who immediately yells at the younger child who goes off looking to kick the cat.
Humans have been kicking the cat from damn near time immemorial, perhaps longer. Archaeologists once believed that cats were domesticated in Egypt roughly 4,000 years ago; but in 2004, researchers working on Cyprus uncovered a 9,500-year-old joint burial of a human and a cat . . . with three cracked ribs.
Linguistically, "kicking the cat" is referenced in Croatian, virtually all the Indo-Norse-Germanic tongues, and in the Tao Te Ching. The expression was late to the language party in England, making its debut in Charles Dickens' debut—the first installment of the Pickwick Papers, April 1836.
"As Young Chadwick walked from the barn towards the house at lunch time, he angrily kicked a pig. Grinning like a limb of Satan himself, the boy kicked a cow. When he entered the house, his mother confronted him, 'I saw what you did, Young Chadwick. For kicking the pig, you'll have no bacon for a week; and for kicking the cow, no milk for a week.'
"Just then Edselforth, the boy's father, walked into the room, pausing to kick the cat, Pickwick, who was lounging by the hearth. Immediately Young Chadwick exclaimed to his mother, 'Should I tell him or will you?'"
Discordianism--the one religion to have if you're having more than one—or none at all.
High Times--wanna know what Super Silver Haze is selling for near you?
Pirate Bay--indefatigible, unsinkable, and attitude out the ass; still the one-stop shoplifting stop
Soulseek--no spoofs, no lurkers, just good clean music files for free. To hell with those overpriced streaming services. As the Buddha says, "Stream your own shit, mother-fucker."