Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.
Your Virtual GanjaScope
A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.
The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.
There's a Saint for That
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.
Here's to a Brighter Day
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.
Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.
National Kick the Cat Day, Why Cats Hate It℠ Nov 24, 2019 - 4:41
WEST CHESTER, PA—Although we celebrate National Kick the Cat Day, we do not advocate kicking cats literally; and we hasten to assure you that no cats were harmed during the writing of this monograph. We celebrate, instead, the existential notion of "kicking the cat" as a means of relieving stress, anger, hostility, rage, or sexual tension. In order for said kicking to be considered "humane," the person doing the kicking should be a high-ranking individual in an organization or family, while the recipient of the kick is a person of lower rank or caste, who may, in turn, pay the kick forward to one of his or her inferiors. This domino effect can be observed dentro casa when the father yells at the mother who later yells at the older child who immediately yells at the younger child who goes off looking to kick the cat.
Humans have been kicking the cat from damn near time immemorial, perhaps longer. Archaeologists once believed that cats were domesticated in Egypt roughly 4,000 years ago; but in 2004, researchers working on Cyprus uncovered a 9,500-year-old joint burial of a human and a cat . . . with three cracked ribs.
Linguistically, "kicking the cat" is referenced in Croatian, virtually all the Indo-Norse-Germanic tongues, and in the Tao Te Ching. The expression was late to the language party in England, making its debut in Charles Dickens' debut—the first installment of the Pickwick Papers, April 1836.
"As Young Chadwick walked from the barn towards the house at lunch time, he angrily kicked a pig. Grinning like a limb of Satan himself, the boy kicked a cow. When he entered the house, his mother confronted him, 'I saw what you did, Young Chadwick. For kicking the pig, you'll have no bacon for a week; and for kicking the cow, no milk for a week.'
"Just then Edselforth, the boy's father, walked into the room, pausing to kick the cat, Pickwick, who was lounging by the hearth. Immediately Young Chadwick exclaimed to his mother, 'Should I tell him or will you?'"
Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."
The Pug Bus Interview
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.