postcards from the pug bus
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Welcome to the Alt-Middle's favorite satire site
What sort of fool brings a knife to a gun fight?
Election 2020: a never was vs. a never should be...make your vote count, don't vote, it's a mope's game
“The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.” (Winston Churchill)
Let's defund the parking meter police
What doesn't kill you will weaken you
So how does felt experience arise out of non-sentient matter, anyway?
"Che stronzi sono le persone." (T. Soprano)

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Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We surely don't. National Find a Rainbow Day? Fuck that, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else bothers to celebrate, visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.

Your Daily Ganjascope
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Sagittarius (11/22 - 12/21): Your love of Calypso's Grape Fizz live resin carts conspire to produce a full-blown paradoxical reaction to life. Whenever you vape it up, dandruff shampoo turns you into a blizzard with feet. Cough medication makes you hack and sputter like a flooded outboard motor. Deodorant produces a rancid, road-kill aroma about your personal zones. I'd lay off the Beano, contraceptive devices, and hemorrhoid preparations if I were you. More Ganjascopes

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Meaner than a dried-up, old-biddy Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive or if you dare misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.

Postcards the Book
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The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-

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Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."

The Fuck It List
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Ten Things You Should Quit While Not Going Gently into That Good Night

  1. Organized Religion
  2. Voting
  3. Seat Belts
  4. Making Sure Your Zipper's Up
  5. Paying for Music and Movies
  6. Apologizing for Shit You Didn't Do
  7. Pissing Indoors All the Time
  8. Hauling Your Damn Grandkids Around
  9. Stupid-Ass, Dip-Shit, Old-Fart Hats
10. Bathing or Showering Regularly

Are You the Master of Your Bedroom?
Sep 8, 2020 - 10:00
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WEST GOSHEN TWP, Pa.–The true conservative does not like anything to happen that has not happened before. He prefers old dogs, old friends, old whiskey, and old songs...old words, too...and he's apt to become shirty when old words get surrounded by crime scene tape strung up by the low priests of political correctness and woke-fucking-culture.

Such is the fate of "master bedroom." The Houston Association of Realtors, eager to be correct and "woke," announced in June that "master" would be replaced by "primary" in descriptions of bedrooms and bathrooms in all future association listings. This sniveling, inglorious decision--a solution in search of a problem--was made after a group of real estate agents had requested a review of the term "master bedroom."

Fair enough, but the Department of Housing and Urban Development had conducted just such a review in1995 in less fraught times...and decided that "master bedroom" was not discriminatory and did not violate fair housing laws.

In more fraught times (June this year), the National Association of Realtors reached the same conclusion.

"NAR sees no reason that real estate professionals cannot use the term (master bedroom), as there is no evidence that it has any historical connection to slavery or any other kind of discrimination."

No shit. Lincoln freed the slaves in 1865. "Master bedroom" appeared in a 1926 Sears mail order catalog. Unless you can find a much earlier example of its use, Skippy, you'll look dumber than Jim Carey if you claim a historical connection to slavery...or any connection to slavery other than imaginary.

H.L. Mencken defined puritanism as "The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.” Progressives are haunted by the fear that someone, somewhere may be using language or having a thought of which they do not approve. Still, it's time to call a spade, a spade. No sane, non-hyperventilating person should be offended by "master bedroom," just as no sane, non-hyperventilating, non-certifiable person should be ashamed of the color of his or her skin; nor--most critically--should white people be offended by "master bedroom" on behalf of someone else.

That's the pile of rocks with a snake in it. Beware white people who get offended on behalf of others who are not white. The fury of the I-feel-your-pain WINO (white in name only) is beyond reckoning and often exceeds the fury of those who "think" they have cause for offense.

The triumph of feelings over facts in Houston and in other locations, locations, locations leads us to wonder what might be next. Chess master? Master's degrees? What about master plans, pay masters, the Master's Tournament, master chefs, Master Card, Master P, mastermind, Master of Ceremonies, Master of one's own domain?''

It's enough to make a person weary. Fortunately we have a master bedroom to which to retire: and if one didn't exist, we'd have to invent it.

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West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a virtue-signalling, marching-band university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a stupid local news story from time to time.

The Pug Bus Blogs On
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Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; and more!"

The Pug Bus Quiz Challenge
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No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."

The Pug Bus Interview
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Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface.Read on.

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Discordianism--the one religion to have if you're having more than one—or or if you're having none at all.

High Times--wanna know what Super Silver Haze is going for near you? Wanna wade your way through a growing shit heap of trendy, female-empowered, social warrior nonsense to find out?

Pirate Bay--indefatigible, unsinkable, and attitude out the ass; still the one-stop shoplifting stop

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Spectrum Labs-need to pass a piss test?

Vaults of Erowid-before you drop it, chop it, snort it, or vape it, consult the druggie's bible; your brain with thank you for the effort

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