postcards from the pug bus
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004

Welcome to the Alt-Middle's favorite satire site
What sort of fool brings a knife to a gun fight?
Election 2020: a never was vs. a never should be...make your vote count, don't vote, it's a mope's game
“The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.” (Winston Churchill)
Let's defund the parking meter police
What doesn't kill you will weaken you
So how does felt experience arise out of non-sentient matter, anyway?
"Che stronzi sono le persone." (T. Soprano)

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The Book of Daze℠
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Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We surely don't. National Find a Rainbow Day? Fuck that, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else bothers to celebrate, visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.

Your Daily Ganjascope
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Sagittarius (11/22 - 12/21): Your love of Calypso's Grape Fizz live resin carts conspire to produce a full-blown paradoxical reaction to life. Whenever you vape it up, dandruff shampoo turns you into a blizzard with feet. Cough medication makes you hack and sputter like a flooded outboard motor. Deodorant produces a rancid, road-kill aroma about your personal zones. I'd lay off the Beano, contraceptive devices, and hemorrhoid preparations if I were you. More Ganjascopes

The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a dried-up, old-biddy Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive or if you dare misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.

Postcards the Book
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The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-

You Can't Photoshop This image
Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."

The Fuck It List
     image of a big thumb pointing down         image of a big thumb pointing down

Ten Things You Should Quit While Not Going Gently into That Good Night

  1. Organized Religion
  2. Voting
  3. Seat Belts
  4. Making Sure Your Zipper's Up
  5. Paying for Music and Movies
  6. Apologizing for Shit You Didn't Do
  7. Pissing Indoors All the Time
  8. Hauling Your Damn Grandkids Around
  9. Stupid-Ass, Dip-Shit, Old-Fart Hats
10. Bathing or Showering Regularly

National "Gay" Conversion Therapy Day℠
Dec 29, 2019 - 6:00
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WEST GOSHEN TWP, Pa.–Conversion therapy is the pseudo-scientific practice of trying to change an individual's sexual orientation from homosexual or bisexual to heterosexual, using psychological or spiritual interventions. There is no reliable evidence that sexual orientation can be changed, and medical institutions warn that conversion therapy is ineffective and potentially harmful. Thus Spake Wikithustra . . .

True all dat. No argument from here. Never did believe in anybody converting anybody else to anything. Period. We're not so vigorously opposed to conversion therapy when it comes to words, though, specifically the word gay.

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Therefore, it is with reckless and gay abandon that we introduce the Postcards from the Pug Bus "Gay" Conversion Project: The Preservation of the "Dated" Meanings of the Word Gay. "Dated" is Google's not so gay term for the first few meanings of gay. According to, those include:
1a : happily excited, merry -- "in a gay mood"
1b : keenly alive and exuberant, having or inducing high spirits -- "a bird's gay song"

2a : bright, lively -- "gay sunny meadows"

Not until the fourth meaning do we find Google's linguistic rent boys:4a: of, relating to, or characterized by a tendency to direct sexual desire toward another of the same sex -- "homosexual gay men"
In order to promote a more inclusive linguistic union, we at the Pug Bus vow to use gay, gaily, and many clever derivations thereof as often as we can. (The more awake of you may have noticed that we have already begun to do so in this very piece.) We urge you, Gentle Reader, to do likewise and to mention/link to/cite this article if you would be so kind. Only by voting with our keyboards can we keep that nouveau riche G-word from ruining the neighborhood. That would be ironic because we know that gays are good for the neighborhood.

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To conclude: At roughly the same time, the 1960s, that homosexual men decided gay described their sexual orientation to a T, a new, pejorative use of gay was observed among younger, largely inner-city, speakers. That new diss might signify anything from derision (rubbish or stupid) to sorta-friendly ridicule (same as calling a dude weak, unmanly, or lame). Neither gay—nor the more incendiary faggot, to press a point— means "homosexual" in these cultural/linguistic environs, except on rare occasions; and gay is far more often used to refer to an inanimate object or abstract concept we don't like. "Those are really gay UGGs®, Trevor."

Were we not already up to our keisters in the fight to preserve Gay OG, we would endorse this meaning of gay as well, but that would be just two words for gay.
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© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.

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West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a virtue-signalling, marching-band university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a stupid local news story from time to time.

The Pug Bus Blogs On
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Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; and more!"

The Pug Bus Quiz Challenge
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No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."

The Pug Bus Interview
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Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface.Read on.

Sites for Sore Eyes
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Discordianism--the one religion to have if you're having more than one—or or if you're having none at all.

High Times--wanna know what Super Silver Haze is going for near you? Wanna wade your way through a growing shit heap of trendy, female-empowered, social warrior nonsense to find out?

Pirate Bay--indefatigible, unsinkable, and attitude out the ass; still the one-stop shoplifting stop

Soulseek--no spoofs, no lurkers, just good clean music files for free. To hell with those overpriced streaming services. As the Buddha says, "Stream your own shit, mother-fucker."

Spectrum Labs-need to pass a piss test?

Vaults of Erowid-before you drop it, chop it, snort it, or vape it, consult the druggie's bible; your brain with thank you for the effort

ExpressVPN--sturdy, impregnable fortress. It's the VPN service that we here at the Pug Bus use. Don't go digital shoplifting without it.