Postcards from the Pug Bus                

postcards from the pug bus

lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
Reparations? Isn't that just a fancy word
for "welfare handouts"
an excuse for taking money from people
who never owned slaves
and giving it to people
who never were slaves?
Elizabeth Warren loves to tell business owners,
"You didn't build that."
We say to reparations queens,
"You didn't earn that."
four dogs in a row having sex from behind...
Whether you do it doggie style or scissors, sister, we've got suggestions for what to read when you're having a cigarette or a blunt afterward ...

Home   Ass Hats   Celebrities   Music   U.S. News   World   Religion   Sports   Technology   Weed   Us  

The Book of Daze℠
image of an old-fashion pinup calendar
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . .  The Book of Daze℠.

Your Virtual GanjaScope
an image of a man smoking pot
A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.

The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.

There's a Saint for That
patron saints for hire image
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.

image of iconic screaming person
two lions having it off
The Who shortly after pissing on a tall wall
American Freedm Party
burma shave sign with jingle
subliminal Coca-Cola advert
image of worldwide web on computer screen
image of bicyclist
image of handicapped parking sticker
man on his knees fucking a tail pipe
fly agaric mushroom

Here's to a Brighter Day
banner of brights organization
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.

The Pug Bus Blogs On
seven pugs looking out the back of a Dodge Caravan whose hatch is raised
Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; the rise of the alt-middle; and more!"

Yesterdays' Papers
image of a bunch of newspapers
Read any two of these classic articles from May 2005 and get the third one for free. Pay only for shipping and handling. Offer good while supplies last.

US Prepared for Flu Pandemic Says Bush
A case of deja vu in reverse or what?

Johnny Depp to Read at Hunter S. Thompson Memorial
Johnny wore a wife-beater then he became one.

Mena Suvari Seeks Separation from Mira Sorvino
So who'd you rather . . . or rather not.

Local News
West Chester University Golden Ram  image
West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a woke university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a mean-spirited, condescending local news story from time to time.

Pug Bus Quizzes 'n' Polls
road sign with many directions
No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."

Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-

You Can't Photoshop This

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."


The Pug Bus Interview
image of phil maggitti, the pug bus editor
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.


image of a gun Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

  National "Gay" Conversion Therapy Day℠
        Dec 29, 2019 - 6:00
an image
WEST GOSHEN TWP, Pa.–Conversion therapy is the pseudo-scientific practice of trying to change an individual's sexual orientation from homosexual or bisexual to heterosexual, using psychological or spiritual interventions. There is no reliable evidence that sexual orientation can be changed, and medical institutions warn that conversion therapy is ineffective and potentially harmful. Thus Spake Wikithustra . . .

True all dat. No argument from here. Never did believe in anybody converting anybody else to anything. Period. We're not so vigorously opposed to conversion therapy when it comes to words, though, specifically the word gay.

an image
Therefore, it is with reckless and gay abandon that we introduce the Postcards from the Pug Bus "Gay" Conversion Project: The Preservation of the "Dated" Meanings of the Word Gay. "Dated" is Google's not so gay term for the first few meanings of gay. According to, those include:
1a : happily excited, merry -- "in a gay mood"
1b : keenly alive and exuberant, having or inducing high spirits -- "a bird's gay song"

2a : bright, lively -- "gay sunny meadows"

Not until the fourth meaning do we find Google's linguistic rent boys:4a: of, relating to, or characterized by a tendency to direct sexual desire toward another of the same sex -- "homosexual gay men"
In order to promote a more inclusive linguistic union, we at the Pug Bus vow to use gay, gaily, and many clever derivations thereof as often as we can. (The more awake of you may have noticed that we have already begun to do so in this very piece.) We urge you, Gentle Reader, to do likewise and to mention/link to/cite this article if you would be so kind. Only by voting with our keyboards can we keep that nouveau riche G-word from ruining the neighborhood. That would be ironic because we know that gays are good for the neighborhood.

an image
To conclude: At roughly the same time, the 1960s, that homosexual men decided gay described their sexual orientation to a T, a new, pejorative use of gay was observed among younger, largely inner-city, speakers. That new diss might signify anything from derision (rubbish or stupid) to sorta-friendly ridicule (same as calling a dude weak, unmanly, or lame). Neither gay—nor the more incendiary faggot, to press a point— means "homosexual" in these cultural/linguistic environs, except on rare occasions; and gay is far more often used to refer to an inanimate object or abstract concept we don't like. "Those are really gay UGGs®, Trevor."

Were we not already up to our keisters in the fight to preserve Gay OG, we would endorse this meaning of gay as well, but that would be just two words for gay.

© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.

Humor Feed Banner
Red Bull Logo