National "Gay" Conversion Therapy Day℠

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National "Gay" Conversion Therapy Day℠
Dec 29, 2019 - 6:00

WEST GOSHEN TWP, Pa.–Conversion therapy is the pseudo-scientific practice of trying to change an individual's sexual orientation from homosexual or bisexual to heterosexual, using psychological or spiritual interventions. There is no reliable evidence that sexual orientation can be changed, and medical institutions warn that conversion therapy is ineffective and potentially harmful. Thus Spake Wikithustra . . .

True all dat. No argument from here. Never did believe in anybody converting anybody else to anything. Period. We're not so vigorously opposed to conversion therapy when it comes to words, though, specifically the word gay.

Therefore, it is with reckless and gay abandon that we introduce the Postcards from the Pug Bus "Gay" Conversion Project: The Preservation of the "Dated" Meanings of the Word Gay. "Dated" is Google's not so gay term for the first few meanings of gay. According to merriam-webster.com, those include:

1a : happily excited, merry -- "in a gay mood"
1b : keenly alive and exuberant, having or inducing high spirits -- "a bird's gay song"

2a : bright, lively -- "gay sunny meadows"

Not until the fourth meaning do we find Google's linguistic rent boys:4a: of, relating to, or characterized by a tendency to direct sexual desire toward another of the same sex -- "homosexual gay men"

In order to promote a more inclusive linguistic union, we at the Pug Bus vow to use gay, gaily, and many clever derivations thereof as often as we can. (The more awake of you may have noticed that we have already begun to do so in this very piece.) We urge you, Gentle Reader, to do likewise and to mention/link to/cite this article if you would be so kind. Only by voting with our keyboards can we keep that nouveau riche G-word from ruining the neighborhood. That would be ironic because we know that gays are good for the neighborhood.

To conclude: At roughly the same time, the 1960s, that homosexual men decided gay described their sexual orientation to a T, a new, pejorative use of gay was observed among younger, largely inner-city, speakers. That new diss might signify anything from derision (rubbish or stupid) to sorta-friendly ridicule (same as calling a dude weak, unmanly, or lame). Neither gay—nor the more incendiary faggot, to press a point— means "homosexual" in these cultural/linguistic environs, except on rare occasions; and gay is far more often used to refer to an inanimate object or abstract concept we don't like. "Those are really gay UGGs®, Trevor."

Were we not already up to our keisters in the fight to preserve Gay OG, we would endorse this meaning of gay as well, but that would be just two words for gay.

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