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What sort of fool brings a knife to a gun fight?
Election 2020: a never was vs. a never should be...make your vote count, don't vote, it's a mope's game
“The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.” (Winston Churchill)
Let's defund the parking meter police
What doesn't kill you will weaken you
So how does felt experience arise out of non-sentient matter, anyway?
"Che stronzi sono le persone." (T. Soprano)


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The Book of Daze℠
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Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We surely don't. National Find a Rainbow Day? Fuck that, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else bothers to celebrate, visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.

Your Daily Ganjascope
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Sagittarius (11/22 - 12/21): Your love of Calypso's Grape Fizz live resin carts conspire to produce a full-blown paradoxical reaction to life. Whenever you vape it up, dandruff shampoo turns you into a blizzard with feet. Cough medication makes you hack and sputter like a flooded outboard motor. Deodorant produces a rancid, road-kill aroma about your personal zones. I'd lay off the Beano, contraceptive devices, and hemorrhoid preparations if I were you. More Ganjascopes

The Grammar Prick
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Meaner than a dried-up, old-biddy Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive or if you dare misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.


Postcards the Book
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The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-


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Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."

The Fuck It List
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Ten Things You Should Quit While Not Going Gently into That Good Night

  1. Organized Religion
  2. Voting
  3. Seat Belts
  4. Making Sure Your Zipper's Up
  5. Paying for Music and Movies
  6. Apologizing for Shit You Didn't Do
  7. Pissing Indoors All the Time
  8. Hauling Your Damn Grandkids Around
  9. Stupid-Ass, Dip-Shit, Old-Fart Hats
10. Bathing or Showering Regularly

National Earworm Day℠
Jan 2, 2020 - 5:33
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WEST GOSHEN TWP, Pa.–Before we fusilade the fireworks in celebration of National Earworm Day, we must observe that said day is the only national day (so far) to have it own patron saint. That's right all Catholic, Anglican, and Lutheran boys and girls suffering from an earworm, a scrap of a song that gets stuck in a person's head and plays on auto loop for days and days and daze, can find relief by praying to St. Polycarp of Symrna, the patron saint of earworm sufferers.

Polycarp, who died in 167 C.E. at the of eighty-six, suffered from the earliest recorded case of an earworm. According to church records, he spent the last thirty-seven years of his life with a pagan fertility chant bouncing around in his brain. Some scholars, however, question whether those thirty-seven years were human or earworm years.

The church also tells us that a rival for the post of Bishop of Symrna, which was awarded to Polycarp by John the Apostle, placed an insect (forficula auricularia) in Polycarp's bedding in a fit of jealously.

When the Blessed Virgin Mary, who knew something about warding off penetration, appeared to Polycarp in a dream that night, Polycarp awoke and immediately stuffed his ears with cow dung, the only known prophylactic against earworm invasion at the time. Early Christians mistakenly believed that the insect (forficula auricularia) was responsible for getting chants and prayers stuck in their heads, a belief later declared heretical by the Council of Trent.

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Sadly for Polycarp, the cow dung, which had not been blessed, caused an infection in his ear; and that spread to his brain; and he lay in a coma for months with a fever of 103°. When he awoke, the pagan fertility chant had set up housekeeping in his brain.

Many of the faithful who met Polycarp following his illness said that he was not the same man he had been before. He was often unable to attend to what people were saying to him, and he was therefore thought to be rude. In addition, the earworm distracted Polycarp so badly that he was no longer able to speak in compound-complex sentences, and this once brilliant orator was reduced to giving sermons to people for whom Latin was a second language.

Through all the personality changes brought on by the earwig, St. Polycarp remained unshaken in his faith. He forgave the rival who had cursed him, and he accepted his new status with grace and humility. He even stopped taking cold baths and chanting Jesus' name incessantly in an effort to cure himself.

Toward the end of Polycarp's episcopate, a violent Christian persecution broke out in Smyrna. "Although he was fearless," the church says, Polycarp retreated to a neighboring village, spending most of his time in prayer. He was betrayed, for some mysterious reason, by a young boy, and horsemen came by night to arrest him.

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They took Polycarp to the proconsul, who ordered him to blaspheme Christ not only to cure his earworm but also to save his life. Polycarp refused and was taken off to be burned at the stake. The flames did not touch him, so he was run through with a spear and he died. Legend says that the pagan fertility chant that had so bedeviled Polycarp died with him.

Persons who attend churches named after St. Polycarp around the world, are frequently cured of earworms, even those of several years' duration, as soon as they place money in the collection basket.

"I had not been able to get 'Love Story' out of my head for several months," said Helen Grabowski of Milwaukee. "After I went to St. Polycarp instead of my regular parish and put $20 in the collection, I was cured."
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West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a virtue-signalling, marching-band university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a stupid local news story from time to time.

The Pug Bus Blogs On
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Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; and more!"

The Pug Bus Quiz Challenge
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No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."

The Pug Bus Interview
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Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface.Read on.



Sites for Sore Eyes
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Discordianism--the one religion to have if you're having more than one—or or if you're having none at all.

High Times--wanna know what Super Silver Haze is going for near you? Wanna wade your way through a growing shit heap of trendy, female-empowered, social warrior nonsense to find out?

Pirate Bay--indefatigible, unsinkable, and attitude out the ass; still the one-stop shoplifting stop

Soulseek--no spoofs, no lurkers, just good clean music files for free. To hell with those overpriced streaming services. As the Buddha says, "Stream your own shit, mother-fucker."

Spectrum Labs-need to pass a piss test?

Vaults of Erowid-before you drop it, chop it, snort it, or vape it, consult the druggie's bible; your brain with thank you for the effort

ExpressVPN--sturdy, impregnable fortress. It's the VPN service that we here at the Pug Bus use. Don't go digital shoplifting without it.