postcards from the pug bus
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004

Welcome to the Alt-Middle's favorite satire site
What sort of fool brings a knife to a gun fight?
Election 2020: a never was vs. a never should be...make your vote count, don't vote, it's a mope's game
“The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.” (Winston Churchill)
Let's defund the parking meter police
What doesn't kill you will weaken you
So how does felt experience arise out of non-sentient matter, anyway?
"Che stronzi sono le persone." (T. Soprano)

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The Book of Daze℠
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Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We surely don't. National Find a Rainbow Day? Fuck that, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else bothers to celebrate, visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.

Your Daily Ganjascope
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Sagittarius (11/22 - 12/21): Your love of Calypso's Grape Fizz live resin carts conspire to produce a full-blown paradoxical reaction to life. Whenever you vape it up, dandruff shampoo turns you into a blizzard with feet. Cough medication makes you hack and sputter like a flooded outboard motor. Deodorant produces a rancid, road-kill aroma about your personal zones. I'd lay off the Beano, contraceptive devices, and hemorrhoid preparations if I were you. More Ganjascopes

The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a dried-up, old-biddy Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive or if you dare misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.

Postcards the Book
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The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-

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Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."

The Fuck It List
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Ten Things You Should Quit While Not Going Gently into That Good Night

  1. Organized Religion
  2. Voting
  3. Seat Belts
  4. Making Sure Your Zipper's Up
  5. Paying for Music and Movies
  6. Apologizing for Shit You Didn't Do
  7. Pissing Indoors All the Time
  8. Hauling Your Damn Grandkids Around
  9. Stupid-Ass, Dip-Shit, Old-Fart Hats
10. Bathing or Showering Regularly

National Fake Emotional Support Animal Day℠
Jan 1, 2020 - 6:48
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WEST GOSHEN TWP, Pa.–Our handicapped fellow citizens are causing problemi again. Not content with sticker-shaming people who use "after-market" handicapped stickers to park in spaces that would otherwise remain empty, the CapiNazis (handicapped police) are now coming after emotional support animals, without which many people would not be able to fly on airplanes or to eat in restaurants.

Examples of this sort of thuggery abound. A Wisconsin woman is asked to leave a McDonald's after she enters with her emotional support kangaroo. A woman is tossed off a US Airways flight because her eighty-pound emotional support pig allegedly "became disruptive." Turkeys, marmosets, snakes, peacocks . . . all manner of emotional support animals (ESA) have been shown the boarding gate by airlines that rush to do the bidding of HCRAP (Handicapped Citizens Rights and Privileges), one of Washington's most powerful and ruthless lobbying groups.

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If you're confused about whether your Boston terrier might qualify as an emotional support animal, our experience in that regard could help you through the thicket of wheelchairs, discarded walking boots, and crutches that litter your path.

To begin, do not try to fake a service animal listing. Service animals, by definition, are trained to perform tasks that their owners cannot do for themselves. Worse yet, the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) allows a business to ask you what work or task your dog has been trained to perform. Unless your Boston terrier walks on its hind legs to keep you from getting depressed, you're better off claiming she's an emotional support animal (ESA). Trust us.

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ESAs do not have to be trained. That's fortunate because some of them, ours certamente, cannot be trained. Their purpose is to provide comfort for someone with a documented mental health condition. If you think you suffer from a documented mental health condition, licensed MDs are standing by online eager to "examine" you and to testify by letter that you need an emotional support animal.

(Be sure to have a copy of that letter with you when you attempt to take your ESA into a restaurant, hookah bar, Whole Foods, or wherever. Also, if you have secured a medical marijuana card in your state, be sure to mention that to the online doctor who examines you. S/he'll be impressed that you've already been certified crispy around the edges by one government agency.)

Although the ADA defines service animals, the Air Carrier Access Act (ACAA) governs airlines' policies regarding service and support animals, "and that’s one of the places prone to abuse," according to The New York Times. (Emphasis added.) The Department of Transportation (DOT) is responsible for enforcing the ACAA rules. Historically, the rules have required accommodations for emotional support animals, but recent abuses of the rules by passengers seeking to bring all manner of animals such as peacocks and pigs onto planes has caused the DOT to revisit this issue . . .."

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Sounds like dogs wearing muzzles and/or diapers or goofy hats might no longer be welcome on some airlines, boys and girls; but don't sleep on restaurants, especially if you can't enjoy a dry-aged prime rib eye without your four-legged doggie bag in tow, growling at children from under the table. We must confess we can't.
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West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a virtue-signalling, marching-band university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a stupid local news story from time to time.

The Pug Bus Blogs On
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Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; and more!"

The Pug Bus Quiz Challenge
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No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."

The Pug Bus Interview
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Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface.Read on.

Sites for Sore Eyes
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Discordianism--the one religion to have if you're having more than one—or or if you're having none at all.

High Times--wanna know what Super Silver Haze is going for near you? Wanna wade your way through a growing shit heap of trendy, female-empowered, social warrior nonsense to find out?

Pirate Bay--indefatigible, unsinkable, and attitude out the ass; still the one-stop shoplifting stop

Soulseek--no spoofs, no lurkers, just good clean music files for free. To hell with those overpriced streaming services. As the Buddha says, "Stream your own shit, mother-fucker."

Spectrum Labs-need to pass a piss test?

Vaults of Erowid-before you drop it, chop it, snort it, or vape it, consult the druggie's bible; your brain with thank you for the effort

ExpressVPN--sturdy, impregnable fortress. It's the VPN service that we here at the Pug Bus use. Don't go digital shoplifting without it.