Postcards from the Pug Bus                

postcards from the pug bus

lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
"In 2018, the latest year for which such data have been published, African-Americans made up 53% of known homicide offenders in the U.S. and commited about 60% of robberies, though they are 13% of the population." WSJ
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Whether you do it doggie style or scissors, sister, we've got suggestions for what to read when you're having a cigarette or a blunt afterward ...

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The Book of Daze℠
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Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . .  The Book of Daze℠.

Your Virtual GanjaScope
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A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.

The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.

There's a Saint for That
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There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.

image of iconic screaming person
two lions having it off
The Who shortly after pissing on a tall wall
American Freedm Party
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subliminal Coca-Cola advert
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image of bicyclist
image of handicapped parking sticker
man on his knees fucking a tail pipe
fly agaric mushroom

Here's to a Brighter Day
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Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.

The Pug Bus Blogs On
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Our fearless editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the festering evil that is Mick Jagger; the rise of the alt-middle; his hatred of soccer moms; and a whole lot more!"

Yesterdays' Papers
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Read any two of these classic articles from May 2005 and get the third one for free. Pay only for shipping and handling. Offer good while supplies last.

US Prepared for Flu Pandemic Says Bush
A case of deja vu in reverse or what?

Johnny Depp to Read at Hunter S. Thompson Memorial
Johnny wore a wife-beater then he became one.

Mena Suvari Seeks Separation from Mira Sorvino
So who'd you rather . . . or rather not.

Local News
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West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a woke university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a mean-spirited, condescending local news story from time to time.

Pug Bus Quizzes 'n' Polls
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No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."

Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-

You Can't Photoshop This

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."


The Pug Bus Interview
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Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.


image of a gun Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

  National Free Gluten Day℠
        Dec 21, 2019 - 3:44
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WEST GOSHEN TWP, Pa.—Celiac disease affects 1 percent of normal Americans. When people with this inherited autoimmune disorder of the small intestine eat bread, pasta, muffins, or other foods containing gluten, their immune systems open up giant-economy-size cans of whup-ass on their persons. It isn't pretty. It could be fatal. That's why people with celiac follow diets completely free of gluten, a protein found in most grains.

Sometime in the last ten years, however, gluten-free (GF) products got themselves a brassy bandwagon and a foam-at-the-mouths posse of non-celiac pretenders who wanted in on the trendy action their kind was helping to make trendy. Circular irony? A national survey taken from 2009 to 2014 revealed that celiac-disease numbers remained stable during that time. The number of people following GF diets tripled, however, from 0.5 percent of the population to nearly 2 percent. WTF?

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Da fuck is celebrities and people with their noses all up in celebrities' butts; self-important hypochondriacs; people who quit self-abuse long enough to indulge in self-diagnosis; food nazis looking for an excuse to make food-service workers miserable; and other camp-following scolds too tedious to mention, let alone tolerate. These are the ass-wipe cretins responsible for making gluten sensitivity a thing, and for the laughable, stupid number of GF products from motor oil to hair spray.

Fortunately, self-deception, like charity, begins at home. According to a study reported in Pathway Genomics, 86 percent of individuals who had convinced themselves they were gluten-sensitive could, in fact, tolerate gluten. (The unbegged question is: who could tolerate them?)

Never mind. Roughly 30 percent of shoppers choose GF foods, and 41 percent of U.S. adults think GF foods provide health benefits for everyone, gluten sensitive or not, living or dead. That's what happens when a stupid, self-serving, magic-underwearlike affectation becomes a thing.

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In the real world, unless you are celiac, there are zero, zip, zilch, nada, nein health benefits to be had from a GF diet. “People think gluten-free food is healthier, but in many cases, it is actually less healthy,” says Rebecca Ditkoff, a Manhattan-based registered dietitian. GF foods are often more processed, higher in fat and sugar, and lower in fiber than their glutinous counterparts.

For sure, GF "foods" are more expensive. The gluten-sensitive choir pays two- to three-times more to sing along to this dumb-ass trend. Yet on Instagram the #glutenfree hashtag has nearly 28 million posts.

Let's matriculate on out of here by pointing a few fingers. Women are more likely than men to avoid gluten. No surprise there, and the GF diet is more popular among 20- to 39-year-olds. Again, no surprise. Among the many stars pimping a GF diet are has-beens like Gwyneth Paltrow and Russell Crowe, and wannabes like Kim Kardashian. Yawn.

And last, a dinner suggestion: a twelve-ounce plate of spaghetti aglio e olio accompanied by half a loaf of real bread. Finish with a gluten-heavy desert. Peace.

Next Ellen: Is gluten-free conversion therapy worth it?

© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.

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