postcards from the pug bus
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Welcome to the Alt-Middle's favorite satire site
What sort of fool brings a knife to a gun fight?
Election 2020: a never was vs. a never should be...make your vote count, don't vote, it's a mope's game
“The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.” (Winston Churchill)
Let's defund the parking meter police
What doesn't kill you will weaken you
So how does felt experience arise out of non-sentient matter, anyway?
"Che stronzi sono le persone." (T. Soprano)

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The Book of Daze℠
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Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We surely don't. National Find a Rainbow Day? Fuck that, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else bothers to celebrate, visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.

Your Daily Ganjascope
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Sagittarius (11/22 - 12/21): Your love of Calypso's Grape Fizz live resin carts conspire to produce a full-blown paradoxical reaction to life. Whenever you vape it up, dandruff shampoo turns you into a blizzard with feet. Cough medication makes you hack and sputter like a flooded outboard motor. Deodorant produces a rancid, road-kill aroma about your personal zones. I'd lay off the Beano, contraceptive devices, and hemorrhoid preparations if I were you. More Ganjascopes

The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a dried-up, old-biddy Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive or if you dare misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.

Postcards the Book
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The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-

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Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."

The Fuck It List
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Ten Things You Should Quit While Not Going Gently into That Good Night

  1. Organized Religion
  2. Voting
  3. Seat Belts
  4. Making Sure Your Zipper's Up
  5. Paying for Music and Movies
  6. Apologizing for Shit You Didn't Do
  7. Pissing Indoors All the Time
  8. Hauling Your Damn Grandkids Around
  9. Stupid-Ass, Dip-Shit, Old-Fart Hats
10. Bathing or Showering Regularly

National Free Gluten Day℠
Dec 21, 2019 - 3:44
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WEST GOSHEN TWP, Pa.—Celiac disease affects 1 percent of normal Americans. When people with this inherited autoimmune disorder of the small intestine eat bread, pasta, muffins, or other foods containing gluten, their immune systems open up giant-economy-size cans of whup-ass on their persons. It isn't pretty. It could be fatal. That's why people with celiac follow diets completely free of gluten, a protein found in most grains.

Sometime in the last ten years, however, gluten-free (GF) products got themselves a brassy bandwagon and a foam-at-the-mouths posse of non-celiac pretenders who wanted in on the trendy action their kind was helping to make trendy. Circular irony? A national survey taken from 2009 to 2014 revealed that celiac-disease numbers remained stable during that time. The number of people following GF diets tripled, however, from 0.5 percent of the population to nearly 2 percent. WTF?

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Da fuck is celebrities and people with their noses all up in celebrities' butts; self-important hypochondriacs; people who quit self-abuse long enough to indulge in self-diagnosis; food nazis looking for an excuse to make food-service workers miserable; and other camp-following scolds too tedious to mention, let alone tolerate. These are the ass-wipe cretins responsible for making gluten sensitivity a thing, and for the laughable, stupid number of GF products from motor oil to hair spray.

Fortunately, self-deception, like charity, begins at home. According to a study reported in Pathway Genomics, 86 percent of individuals who had convinced themselves they were gluten-sensitive could, in fact, tolerate gluten. (The unbegged question is: who could tolerate them?)

Never mind. Roughly 30 percent of shoppers choose GF foods, and 41 percent of U.S. adults think GF foods provide health benefits for everyone, gluten sensitive or not, living or dead. That's what happens when a stupid, self-serving, magic-underwearlike affectation becomes a thing.

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In the real world, unless you are celiac, there are zero, zip, zilch, nada, nein health benefits to be had from a GF diet. “People think gluten-free food is healthier, but in many cases, it is actually less healthy,” says Rebecca Ditkoff, a Manhattan-based registered dietitian. GF foods are often more processed, higher in fat and sugar, and lower in fiber than their glutinous counterparts.

For sure, GF "foods" are more expensive. The gluten-sensitive choir pays two- to three-times more to sing along to this dumb-ass trend. Yet on Instagram the #glutenfree hashtag has nearly 28 million posts.

Let's matriculate on out of here by pointing a few fingers. Women are more likely than men to avoid gluten. No surprise there, and the GF diet is more popular among 20- to 39-year-olds. Again, no surprise. Among the many stars pimping a GF diet are has-beens like Gwyneth Paltrow and Russell Crowe, and wannabes like Kim Kardashian. Yawn.

And last, a dinner suggestion: a twelve-ounce plate of spaghetti aglio e olio accompanied by half a loaf of real bread. Finish with a gluten-heavy desert. Peace.

Next Ellen: Is gluten-free conversion therapy worth it?
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West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a virtue-signalling, marching-band university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a stupid local news story from time to time.

The Pug Bus Blogs On
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Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; and more!"

The Pug Bus Quiz Challenge
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No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."

The Pug Bus Interview
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Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface.Read on.

Sites for Sore Eyes
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Discordianism--the one religion to have if you're having more than one—or or if you're having none at all.

High Times--wanna know what Super Silver Haze is going for near you? Wanna wade your way through a growing shit heap of trendy, female-empowered, social warrior nonsense to find out?

Pirate Bay--indefatigible, unsinkable, and attitude out the ass; still the one-stop shoplifting stop

Soulseek--no spoofs, no lurkers, just good clean music files for free. To hell with those overpriced streaming services. As the Buddha says, "Stream your own shit, mother-fucker."

Spectrum Labs-need to pass a piss test?

Vaults of Erowid-before you drop it, chop it, snort it, or vape it, consult the druggie's bible; your brain with thank you for the effort

ExpressVPN--sturdy, impregnable fortress. It's the VPN service that we here at the Pug Bus use. Don't go digital shoplifting without it.