Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We surely don't. National Find a Rainbow Day? Fuck that, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else bothers to celebrate, visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.
Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."
The Fuck It List
Ten Things You Should Quit While Not Going Gently into That Good Night
3. Seat Belts
4. FOX Fucking News
5. Paying for Music and Movies
6. Picking Up Pills That You Drop
7. Pissing Indoors All the Time
8. Talking Baby Talk to Children
9. Stupid-Ass, Dip-Shit, Old-Fart Hats
10. Bathing or Showering Regularly
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National Politically Incorrect Xmas Day℠ Dec 24, 2019 - 5:00
THE NORTH POLE–'Twas the night before Xmas and Hillie was drunk, while Huma was belching and shaving her skunk. Fat Rosie O'Donnell was cleaning a rug, still thinking of Donald and his fugly mug.
Fair Kamala cozily strapped in her bed, electrodes from focus groups taped to her head. Short Petey was playing with his newest toy, a lovely dark-chocolate Nubian boy.
Susie and Megan were doing a number, while planning a remake of Dumber and Dumber. Barack in his do-rag, Michelle in her cap were were buying up houses all over the map.
Madonna, conflicted, was faced with decision on how to account for all this derision. That bitch Chelsea Handler, predictable whore, just answered the twenty-fifth knock on her door.
The girls in The Squad were preparing a feast of Ex-lax and prune juice and denatured yeast. Stupid Joyce Behar, pursing her wont, was blowing the desk clerk at Chateau Marmont.
Feminists everywhere, jilted again, were ripping the willies off gingerbread men. Robert De Niro was taking a snap at finding Pacino on George Clooney's lap.
Neil Patrick Harris, that old Doogie Howser, was trolling the boulevard looking for trouser when whom did he spy but goofy Clay Aiken, wearing a sign that said “This seat ain't taken.”
Nancy Pelosi, the Lawrence bitch, too, that turd Brian Cranston, the usual zoo. I heard ‘em exclaim as they rose out of sight, “Happy Holidays to some and to some a good night.”