Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.
Your Virtual GanjaScope
A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.
The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.
There's a Saint for That
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.
Here's to a Brighter Day
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.
Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.
National Politically Incorrect Xmas Day℠ Dec 24, 2019 - 5:00
THE NORTH POLE–'Twas the night before Xmas and Hillie was drunk, while Huma was belching and shaving her skunk. Fat Rosie O'Donnell was cleaning a rug, still thinking of Donald and his fugly mug.
Fair Kamala cozily strapped in her bed, electrodes from focus groups taped to her head. Short Petey was playing with his newest toy, a lovely dark-chocolate Nubian boy.
Susie and Megan were doing a number, while planning a remake of Dumber and Dumber. Barack in his do-rag, Michelle in her cap were were buying up houses all over the map.
Madonna, conflicted, was faced with decision on how to account for all this derision. That bitch Chelsea Handler, predictable whore, just answered the twenty-fifth knock on her door.
The girls in The Squad were preparing a feast of Ex-lax and prune juice and denatured yeast. Stupid Joyce Behar, pursing her wont, was blowing the desk clerk at Chateau Marmont.
Feminists everywhere, jilted again, were ripping the willies off gingerbread men. Robert De Niro was taking a snap at finding Pacino on George Clooney's lap.
Neil Patrick Harris, that old Doogie Howser, was trolling the boulevard looking for trouser when whom did he spy but goofy Clay Aiken, wearing a sign that said “This seat ain't taken.”
Nancy Pelosi, the Lawrence bitch, too, that turd Brian Cranston, the usual zoo. I heard ‘em exclaim as they rose out of sight, “Happy Holidays to some and to some a good night.”
Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."
The Pug Bus Interview
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.