postcards from the pug bus
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
 

“The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people's money.” Margaret Thatcher
People who claim that meat should be used as a condiment ought to be reminded that vegetables work best as garnishes.
According to Consumer Reports, the Vizio M-Series Quantum 55-inch TV is rated "best" by rioters in Portlandia, who give it high fives for portability (only 35.6 lbs) as well as a generous $659 discount at all participating and non-participating stores
From hair plugs to butt plugs, the political "awakening" of J. Robinette Biden
The Ultimate White Privilege: Only white people can forgive other white people for their racism
The next time you hear somebody creepy crawling through your living room at 4:00 a.m., don't call the police, call BLM instead, oh wait, that's probably BLM in your living room already
What's the difference between a transvestite and a transgender? A transvestite has a sense of humor
Expect riots post election in November ... question is, will there be more rioting if Trump wins or if he loses
White privilege means always having to say you're sorry
Reparation: Taking money from people who never owned slaves . . . and giving it to peope who never were slaves
The Pug Bus supports BLM's demand to replace Andrew Jackson's image on the twenty-dollar bill with George Floyd's

image of a biblical dude painting BLM on his front door Gentle Reader, may our lintel proclaim that the Pug Bus has been the satirical friend of black people and the BLM movement since well before the former became the dominant race in the United States and the latter became this country's most fearsome political party.

Not once in our fifteen-year history have we hesitated to mock, insult, degrade, demean, or humiliate someone just because he was black. Hell, we even send up black people by refusing to uppercase the b in black.

Therefore, we loudly signal our support of black-themed satire and parody. We also present our bona fides in that regard: a bunch of the articles about black people that we have done in the past. More links coming soon ... Huzzah!
BLM Declares National White Chocolate Day Racist

Killer Kwanzaa App Suspected of Causing Computer Crashes

Black Lives Matter Calls for Boycott of White Avatars

BLM Threatens to Disrupt Giants-Lions Game This Sunday


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The Book of Daze℠
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We surely don't. National Find a Rainbow Day? Fuck that, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else bothers to celebrate, visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.

Your 420 Ganjascope©
Presenting the astrological world's first Ganjascope, a timeless foretelling that reveals your past, present, and future at once. We take the logical out of astrological.

The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a dried-up, old-biddy Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive or if you dare misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.


Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-


You Can't Photoshop This

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."


The Fuck It List
     image of a big thumb pointing down         image of a big thumb pointing down

Ten Things You Should Quit While Not Going Gently into That Good Night

  1. Religion
  2. Apologizing for Anything
  3. Seat Belts
  4. Making Sure Your Zipper's Up
  5. Paying for Music and Movies
  6. Picking Up Pills That You Drop
  7. Pissing Indoors All the Time
  8. Hauling Your Damn Grandkids Around
  9. Stupid-Ass, Dip-Shit, Old-Fart Hats
10. Bathing or Showering Regularly

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Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

National Load-Managing Jesus Day℠
Dec 17, 2019 - 4:07
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Not Kawhi.
EAST OPP, Ala.—The Lord God Amighty announced via Snapchat, Twitter, and Gab yesterday that he is going to load-manage Jesus during the next Hebrew year, 5781, which begins September 19, 2020, and ends on September 6, 2021.

"Load management," a clumsy yet ineffective synonym for "rest," is popular among monkey-see-monkey-do coaches in the National Basketball Association (NBA). The Toronto Raptors, current NBA champions, load-managed Kawhi Leonard twenty-two out of eighty-two regular-season games last season. The gold standard for gold bricking.

Explaining that Jesus is too valuable a property to enter the heart of "every loser with his putz in a wringer," The Lord God Almighty warned that Jesus would be entering fewer hearts this year; and he would not be doing back-to-backs, i.e., entering two hearts in consecutive minutes.

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"Don't write a check with your behavior that you can't cash with your prayers," warned The Lord God Almighty, whose announcement confirmed what religious leaders had been whispering quietly among themselves for some time—there's no free ride to forgiveness any more.

Nobody knows that better than Richard C. Pettinger. An unemployed carpet installer, Mr. Pettinger, 26, has been in and out of correctional institutions since he was arrested at the age of thirteen for setting fire to a kitten. His most recent arrest—and his fifth DUI—came on December 7 when he led police on a low-speed, one-mile chase after they had responded to complaints that a man was exposing himself in the parking lot of a Winn-Dixie convenience store.

After Mr. Pettinger had been apprehended and taken to the county prison, he called Everett M. Clark, pastor of East Opp's First United Methodist Church. When Rev. Clark arrived at the prison, Mr. Pettinger said he was ready to accept Jesus into his heart. He asked Rev. Clark to pray with him, and the two men knelt in the cell. No sooner had Mr. Pettinger finished his prayer than Rev. Clark heard a voice saying, "Tell him Jesus is unavailable, coach's decision."

Apparently the get-out-of-jail-free card isn't worth two shekels any more. "Most people who invite Jesus into their hearts on Friday night are drunk again by Sunday afternoon. I don't care if Jesus never sees the inside of a drunkard's heart again, and neither does he."

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Not Jesus.
To eliminate that possibility The Lord God Almighty will beta-test a six-month mandatory waiting period in selective US markets on all requests for Jesus coming from the inebriated, recently divorced, unemployed, imprisoned, or hallucinating. The Lord God Almighty also hinted that he is close to establishing a two-strikes-and-you're-out rule for those who continue to sin after Jesus enters their hearts.

Next Ellen: Is the Holy Spirit masculine or feminine?


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hillary's basket of deplorables
Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; and more!"

There's a Saint for That
patron saints for hireThere is a condition for every saint, and a saint in evey pot. Tell me where it hurts you, and I'll tell you whom to call. Let us pray . . .

The Pug Bus Interview
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Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface.Read on.



Sites for Sore Eyes
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Discordianism--the one religion to have if you're having more than one—or none at all.

High Times--wanna know what Super Silver Haze is selling for near you?

Pirate Bay--indefatigible, unsinkable, and attitude out the ass; still the one-stop shoplifting stop

Soulseek--no spoofs, no lurkers, just good clean music files for free. To hell with those overpriced streaming services. As the Buddha says, "Stream your own shit, mother-fucker."

Spectrum Labs-need to pass a piss test?

Vaults of Erowid-before you drop it, chop it, snort it, or vape it, consult the druggie's bible; your brain with thank you for the effort

ExpressVPN--sturdy, impregnable fortress. It's the VPN service that we here at the Pug Bus use. Don't go digital shoplifting without it




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