Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.
Your Virtual GanjaScope
A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.
The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.
There's a Saint for That
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.
Here's to a Brighter Day
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.
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National 13 Years Ago on the Pug Bus Day #1℠ Jan 9, 2020 - 8:00
WEST GOSHEN TWP, Pa.–If you've been slinging words as long as we have, you believe that you can get away with phoning one in now and then, say, "repurposing" an article that requires minimal editing or, no editing at all, like the following from 01/09/07.
LOS ANGELES - Jessica Simpson read the news today, oh boy, and now the singer-actress wants to adopt a pillow angel. Ms. Simpson had been interested in adopting a child formerly, but after scoring poorly on a questionnaire sent to her by an adoption agency in Tijuana, Mexico, she became dispirited.
Recently, however, Ms. Simpson has been telling friends, "One of them cute little pillow angels that don't grow much and stays wherever you put them would fit right in with my busy lifestyle. How smart do you have to be to look after one of them?"
The pillow angel who caught Ms. Simpson's attention is Ashley, a nine-year-old girl with static encephalopathy, a severe brain impairment that prevents her from walking, talking, or sitting up. Ashley is fed by tube, and her parents call her "pillow angel" because she stays where they place her, usually on a pillow.
Fearing that Ashley would become too big to lift or to move or to take on family outings easily, her parents arranged for growth attenuation treatments that will prevent Ashley from exceeding 4 feet 5 inches or 75 pounds. When their choice became public, it sparked a torrid debate among medical ethicists and child welfare advocates, but in Jessica Simpson it sparked an idea.
"That'd be just like having somebody the size of Nicole Richie around, only one that don't fall down all the time and don't mind being fed by a tube, like them pillow babies are," said Ms. Simpson.
Although Ms. Simpson said she wasn't sure where to find a pillow angel, she did not sound deterred.
"I betcha one of them websites has information about 'em; if not I'll get my secretary to look on eBay or MySpace."
Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."
The Pug Bus Interview
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.