postcards from the pug bus
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004


Welcome to the Alt-Middle's favorite satire site
What sort of fool brings a knife to a gun fight?
Election 2020: a never was vs. a never should be...make your vote count, don't vote, it's a mope's game
“The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.” (Winston Churchill)
Let's defund the parking meter police
What doesn't kill you will weaken you
So how does felt experience arise out of non-sentient matter, anyway?
"Che stronzi sono le persone." (T. Soprano)


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The Book of Daze℠
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Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We surely don't. National Find a Rainbow Day? Fuck that, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else bothers to celebrate, visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.

Your Daily Ganjascope
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Sagittarius (11/22 - 12/21): Your love of Calypso's Grape Fizz live resin carts conspire to produce a full-blown paradoxical reaction to life. Whenever you vape it up, dandruff shampoo turns you into a blizzard with feet. Cough medication makes you hack and sputter like a flooded outboard motor. Deodorant produces a rancid, road-kill aroma about your personal zones. I'd lay off the Beano, contraceptive devices, and hemorrhoid preparations if I were you. More Ganjascopes

The Grammar Prick
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Meaner than a dried-up, old-biddy Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive or if you dare misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.


Postcards the Book
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The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-


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Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."

The Fuck It List
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Ten Things You Should Quit While Not Going Gently into That Good Night

  1. Organized Religion
  2. Voting
  3. Seat Belts
  4. Making Sure Your Zipper's Up
  5. Paying for Music and Movies
  6. Apologizing for Shit You Didn't Do
  7. Pissing Indoors All the Time
  8. Hauling Your Damn Grandkids Around
  9. Stupid-Ass, Dip-Shit, Old-Fart Hats
10. Bathing or Showering Regularly

National The First Time Ever Day℠
Jan 10, 2020 - 4:55
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WEST GOSHEN TWP, Pa.–Most people can recall their first sexual experience, but judging from the responses to the 2020 Postcards from the Pug Bus Sex Survey, not everyone puts a smiley face on that memory. A total of 1,167 people responded to the Pug Bus survey. This penetrating study, the most authoritative of its kind since the Kinsey Report, ripped the covers off startling facts about the first-time sexual experiences of typical Americans.

Survey participants were asked to complete the following statement: "My first sexual experience was . . ." The choices, which ranged from "awesome" to "illegal in most Southern states," also included "anticlimactic," "costly," and "self-inflicted."

The largest percentage of those surveyed, 31 percent, described their first sexual experience as "anticlimactic."

"This obviously indicates that premature ejaculation, especially among virgins, is more common than previously thought," said television's Dr. Phil. "In a sense a lot of people broke the toy before they got it out of the box."

The second largest cohort, 29 percent, described their first sexual experience as "awesome." Whether this was a consequence of beginners' luck, faulty memory, or self-deception is a question for further study.

Interestingly, 23 percent of the respondents described their first sexual experience as "illegal in most Southern states."

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"There are a number of possible explanations for that response," said Dr. Phil. "Outdated Sabbath laws that remain on the books in many Southern states is the simplest one. What's perfectly legal on Saturday night, fellatio in a moving motor vehicle, for example, is against the law on Sunday morning, especially within five hundred yards of a church.

"In other cases, sex with llamas or junior high school cheerleaders to name just two, are illegal 24/7/365. If you do that in Dixie, you're gonna do time."

The next most popular response category, "self-inflicted," is the most difficult to interpret. Just 15 percent of the respondents said their first sexual experience came in their own hands. Perhaps the old myths about going blind or growing hair on one's palms are more influential than we know. Perhaps people who chose "self-inflicted" misread the question. Future editions of the survey will need to get a better grip on this issue.

Finally, just 3 percent of respondents to the survey described their first sexual experience as costly. One suspects that this question was the most age specific. As people get older, their first sexual experiences tend to become more expensive, for obvious reasons.
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West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a virtue-signalling, marching-band university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a stupid local news story from time to time.

The Pug Bus Blogs On
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Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; and more!"

The Pug Bus Quiz Challenge
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No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."

The Pug Bus Interview
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Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface.Read on.



Sites for Sore Eyes
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Discordianism--the one religion to have if you're having more than one—or or if you're having none at all.

High Times--wanna know what Super Silver Haze is going for near you? Wanna wade your way through a growing shit heap of trendy, female-empowered, social warrior nonsense to find out?

Pirate Bay--indefatigible, unsinkable, and attitude out the ass; still the one-stop shoplifting stop

Soulseek--no spoofs, no lurkers, just good clean music files for free. To hell with those overpriced streaming services. As the Buddha says, "Stream your own shit, mother-fucker."

Spectrum Labs-need to pass a piss test?

Vaults of Erowid-before you drop it, chop it, snort it, or vape it, consult the druggie's bible; your brain with thank you for the effort

ExpressVPN--sturdy, impregnable fortress. It's the VPN service that we here at the Pug Bus use. Don't go digital shoplifting without it.