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The Book of Daze℠
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We surely don't. National Find a Rainbow Day? Fuck that, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else bothers to celebrate, visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.

Your 420 Ganjascope©
Presenting the astrological world's first Ganjascope, a timeless foretelling that reveals your past, present, and future at once. We take the logical out of astrological.

The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a dried-up, old-biddy Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive or if you dare misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.


Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-


You Can't Photoshop This

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."


The Fuck It List
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Ten Things You Should Quit While Not Going Gently into That Good Night

  1. Religion
  2. Voting
  3. Seat Belts
  4. FOX Fucking News
  5. Paying for Music and Movies
  6. Picking Up Pills That You Drop
  7. Pissing Indoors All the Time
  8. Talking Baby Talk to Children
  9. Stupid-Ass, Dip-Shit, Old-Fart Hats
10. Bathing or Showering Regularly

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Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

National Poisoned Cha-Cha Day℠
Jan 7, 2020 - 3:50
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WEST GOSHEN TWP, Pa.–Today we celebrate National Poisoned Cha-Cha Day in memory of that time when the war between the sexes took a turn for the grim. No man worth his Bushy Beavers subscription can forget where he was when he learned that a woman in Sao de Jose Rio Preto, Brazil, had tried to kill her husband by putting a poisonous substance in her snatch and then asking him if he fancied a box lunch.

When her husband got down to business, however, he noticed that her tuna taco smelled like kimchee. After he had begun sweating and gagging, his wife started to cry.

"No me [munch-a-bunch]?" she asked.

"Yo, te amo, pero su vagina huele como una [skunk pussy]," he replied. "Necesitas un [power wash]."

Now sobbing hysterically, the woman said her lady bits did not smell like a skunk's. Then she told her husband what she had done.

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Displaying more compassion than the situation warranted, the forty-three-year-old intended victim took his wife to the hospital, thereby saving her life. He told reporters afterward, nevertheless, that he was going to accuse of her of assault with a deadly smelling weapon.

And now for the takeaway from this story, the reason we observe National Poisoned Cha-Cha Day: Never again! Before you write a check with your tongue that your immune system can't cover, be aware that your partner may have booby trapped her love tunnel. Chances are good that she has if . . .

  1. You can't get cell phone reception in the bedroom when she's in it.
  2. The smoke alarm goes off whenever she gets naked.
  3. The dog dies after chewing her underwear.
  4. Her pubic hair falls out overnight.
  5. Her vajayjay glows in the dark.
  6. The water in the toilet bowl steams after she takes a leak.
  7. You develop toxic thrush following oral sex.
  8. The can of Janitor in a Drum in the bathroom is always empty.
  9. Buzzards circling your house.
10. Her camel's toe looks more like a camel's foot.



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Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; and more!"

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Read any two of these articles and get the third one for free. Pay only for shipping.


There's a Saint for That
patron saints for hireThere is a condition for every saint, and a saint in evey pot. Tell me where it hurts you, and I'll tell you whom to call. Let us pray . . .

The Pug Bus Interview
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Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface.Read on.



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Sites for Sore Eyes
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Discordianism--the one religion to have if you're having more than one—or none at all.

High Times--wanna know what Super Silver Haze is selling for near you?

Pirate Bay--indefatigible, unsinkable, and attitude out the ass; still the one-stop shoplifting stop

Soulseek--no spoofs, no lurkers, just good clean music files for free. To hell with those overpriced streaming services. As the Buddha says, "Stream your own shit, mother-fucker."

Spectrum Labs-need to pass a piss test?

Vaults of Erowid-before you drop it, chop it, snort it, or vape it, consult the druggie's bible; your brain with thank you for the effort

ExpressVPN--sturdy, impregnable fortress. It's the VPN service that we here at the Pug Bus use. Don't go digital shoplifting without it




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