postcards from the pug bus
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004

Welcome to the Alt-Middle's favorite satire site
What sort of fool brings a knife to a gun fight?
Election 2020: a never was vs. a never should be...make your vote count, don't vote, it's a mope's game
“The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.” (Winston Churchill)
Let's defund the parking meter police
What doesn't kill you will weaken you
So how does felt experience arise out of non-sentient matter, anyway?
"Che stronzi sono le persone." (T. Soprano)

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The Book of Daze℠
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Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We surely don't. National Find a Rainbow Day? Fuck that, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else bothers to celebrate, visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.

Your Daily Ganjascope
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Sagittarius (11/22 - 12/21): Your love of Calypso's Grape Fizz live resin carts conspire to produce a full-blown paradoxical reaction to life. Whenever you vape it up, dandruff shampoo turns you into a blizzard with feet. Cough medication makes you hack and sputter like a flooded outboard motor. Deodorant produces a rancid, road-kill aroma about your personal zones. I'd lay off the Beano, contraceptive devices, and hemorrhoid preparations if I were you. More Ganjascopes

The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a dried-up, old-biddy Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive or if you dare misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.

Postcards the Book
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The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-

You Can't Photoshop This image
Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."

The Fuck It List
     image of a big thumb pointing down         image of a big thumb pointing down

Ten Things You Should Quit While Not Going Gently into That Good Night

  1. Organized Religion
  2. Voting
  3. Seat Belts
  4. Making Sure Your Zipper's Up
  5. Paying for Music and Movies
  6. Apologizing for Shit You Didn't Do
  7. Pissing Indoors All the Time
  8. Hauling Your Damn Grandkids Around
  9. Stupid-Ass, Dip-Shit, Old-Fart Hats
10. Bathing or Showering Regularly

National Schrödinger's Cat Day Quiz℠
Jan 4, 2020 - 5:55
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"That UPS driver is mine."
WEST GOSHEN TWP, Pa.–There is only one kind of person in the world. He who knows about Schrödinger’s cat, and he who doesn't. For most of us, however, Schrödinger’s cat is a meme in search of a meaning. Chances are we have seen a reference to this elusive feline somewhere in a book, article, movie, or television show; but chances are equal that we don’t know fuck-all about this creature...or even how to pronounce its owner's name (ˈshrœ-diŋ-ər).

Therefore, the Pug Bus has devised the following quiz about Schrödinger’s cat to commemorate his (Schrödinger’s) death on January 4, 1961, at the age of seventy-three. The correct answers to the questions depend on your point of view and on whether you're thinking inside or outside the box.

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R U thinking inside or outside the box?
1. Erwin Schrödinger received a Nobel Prize in 1933 in recognition of his work in . . .
A) the discovery of new productive forms of atomic theory
B) isolating an anti-rabies vaccine
C) developing a waterproof cat flea collar
D) spay-neuter promotion

2. Dr. Schrödinger died from ______.
A) toxoplasmosis
B) cat scratch fever
D) cognitive dissonance

3. When he invented his namesake cat, Dr. Schrödinger was taking the piss out of ______.
A) advocates of intelligent design
B) the failures of the first clumping-kitty-litter experiments
C) pet-limitation ordinances
D) the “Copenhagen Interpretation” of quantum mechanics

4. If Schrödinger’s cat were allowed to reproduce unencumbered, it would churn out _______ descendants in ten years.
A) ±0.005
B) the first prime number larger than 1,000,000
C) 1+ (E=MC2)
D) a^2+b^2=c^2

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This isn't who it would be if it wasn't who it is. (Phish)
5. Which of the following sold for $16,500 on eBay?
A) a gag package of quantum kitty litter
B) a never-opened Schrödinger's lunch box
C) a case of Schrödinger's boxed wines
D) a 1951 Schrödinger's Cat Box by Hummel

6. According to the Copenhagen Interpretation, the only way to be 100 percent sure of the location of a subatomic particle is . . .

A) via quantum GPS technology
B) by observing it
C) by PhotoShopping its reverse image
D) by waiting for its trigger warning

7. If Erwin Schrödinger were alive today, he would . . .
A) have way outlived his cat
B) be twenty years old in cat years
C) perhaps not be alive after all
D) be cited for keeping his cat in a box all those years

8. Schrödinger published his famous cat-in-a-box thought experiment on . . .
A) Valentine's Day 1938
B) November 29, 1935
C) Christmas Eve 1936
D) his birthday 1937

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Wanted Dead:
Erwin "The Ailurophobe" Schrödinger
9. In real life, Schrödinger was . . .
A) severely allergic to cats
B) a dog person
C) terrified of meeting his doppelgänger
D) a Leo

10. Schrödinger's cat is taking a nap, he will wake up . . .
A) when he hears the electric can opener
B) if and only if you stare at him
C) or not
D) as long as you don't step on the vial of radioactive poison next to his bed
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West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a virtue-signalling, marching-band university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a stupid local news story from time to time.

The Pug Bus Blogs On
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Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; and more!"

The Pug Bus Quiz Challenge
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No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."

The Pug Bus Interview
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Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface.Read on.

Sites for Sore Eyes
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Discordianism--the one religion to have if you're having more than one—or or if you're having none at all.

High Times--wanna know what Super Silver Haze is going for near you? Wanna wade your way through a growing shit heap of trendy, female-empowered, social warrior nonsense to find out?

Pirate Bay--indefatigible, unsinkable, and attitude out the ass; still the one-stop shoplifting stop

Soulseek--no spoofs, no lurkers, just good clean music files for free. To hell with those overpriced streaming services. As the Buddha says, "Stream your own shit, mother-fucker."

Spectrum Labs-need to pass a piss test?

Vaults of Erowid-before you drop it, chop it, snort it, or vape it, consult the druggie's bible; your brain with thank you for the effort

ExpressVPN--sturdy, impregnable fortress. It's the VPN service that we here at the Pug Bus use. Don't go digital shoplifting without it.