Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We surely don't. National Find a Rainbow Day? Fuck that, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else bothers to celebrate, visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.
Your Daily Ganjascope
Sagittarius (11/22 - 12/21): Your love of Calypso's Grape Fizz live resin carts conspire to produce a full-blown paradoxical reaction to life. Whenever you vape it up, dandruff shampoo turns you into a blizzard with feet. Cough medication makes you hack and sputter like a flooded outboard motor. Deodorant produces a rancid, road-kill aroma about your personal zones. I'd lay off the Beano, contraceptive devices, and hemorrhoid preparations if I were you. More Ganjascopes
The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a dried-up, old-biddy Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive or if you dare misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.
Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.
Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."
The Fuck It List
Ten Things You Should Quit While Not Going Gently into That Good Night
1. Organized Religion
3. Seat Belts
4. Making Sure Your Zipper's Up
5. Paying for Music and Movies
6. Apologizing for Shit You Didn't Do
7. Pissing Indoors All the Time
8. Hauling Your Damn Grandkids Around
9. Stupid-Ass, Dip-Shit, Old-Fart Hats
10. Bathing or Showering Regularly
National Screw the Pooch Day, Why Dogs Despise It℠ Dec 23, 2019 - 3:00
WEST GOSHEN TWP, Pa.–"Screw the pooch"—short for "fuck the dog"— is an expression made popular in Tom Wolfe’s 1979 book about the Mercury space program, The Right Stuff. To screw the pooch is to commit a horribly wrong and embarrassing mistake, one from which there is no recovering. Predictably dogs hate the expression because . . .
1. In real life everybody knows you're a dog.
2. People are just getting used to the idea of gay marriage.
3. The expression is ass backward, according to all those German shepherds that appear in porn movies.
4. Cats got to choose first, therefore, we kick cats and screw pooches.
5. Pooch has unfortunate connotations, among them "lap dog" and “worthless-piece-of-shit dog."
6. "Man's best friend" doesn't mean "man's best friend with benefits."
7. The parlor game Screw the Pooch is offensive and has caused serious injuries to dogs.
8. "Screw the pooch" is a gateway expression that leads to other, more disgusting, expressions like "doggy style," "shoot the puppy," or "dead dog bounce."
9. What if screwing the pooch becomes a recognized service dog "service"? Imagine all the bother that will cause on airplanes.
10. Just because dogs sniff our business doesn't mean they want us to fuck them.
Next Ellen: Why lesbians never screw their pooches
West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a virtue-signalling, marching-band university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a stupid local news story from time to time.
The Pug Bus Blogs On
Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; and more!"
The Pug Bus Quiz Challenge
No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."
The Pug Bus Interview
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface.Read on.
Sites for Sore Eyes
Discordianism--the one religion to have if you're having more than one—or or if you're having none at all.
High Times--wanna know what Super Silver Haze is going for near you? Wanna wade your way through a growing shit heap of trendy, female-empowered, social warrior nonsense to find out?
Pirate Bay--indefatigible, unsinkable, and attitude out the ass; still the one-stop shoplifting stop
Soulseek--no spoofs, no lurkers, just good clean music files for free. To hell with those overpriced streaming services. As the Buddha says, "Stream your own shit, mother-fucker."