postcards from the pug bus
 


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The Book of Daze℠
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We surely don't. National Find a Rainbow Day? Fuck that, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else bothers to celebrate, visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.

Your 420 Ganjascope©
Presenting the astrological world's first Ganjascope, a timeless foretelling that reveals your past, present, and future at once. We take the logical out of astrological.

The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a dried-up, old-biddy Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive or if you dare misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.


Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-


You Can't Photoshop This

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."


The Fuck It List
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Ten Things You Should Quit While Not Going Gently into That Good Night

  1. Religion
  2. Voting
  3. Seat Belts
  4. FOX Fucking News
  5. Paying for Music and Movies
  6. Picking Up Pills That You Drop
  7. Pissing Indoors All the Time
  8. Talking Baby Talk to Children
  9. Stupid-Ass, Dip-Shit, Old-Fart Hats
10. Bathing or Showering Regularly

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Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

National AARP Senior Sperm Day℠
Jan 3, 2020 - 5:55
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"This is really a cluster fuck."
WASHINGTON, D.C.–The American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) will issue a two-finger proclamation sometime today, declaring that (1) January 3 will henceforth and hereinafter be known as National AARP Senior Sperm Day and (2) sperm samples provided by men older than fifty-five will compete in a seniors division in laboratory fertility tests.

The AARP declaration comes hard on the heels of the release of a National Academy of Sciences study, which found that as men get older, their sperm deteriorates, and this debilitated sperm (or senior moment) might contribute to certain birth defects.

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"Beautiful girls, walk a little slower . . . "
"Our research arm indicates that differences in spermatic performance on laboratory tests peter out when older sperm competes against sperm of a similar vintage," said AARP senior reproduction specialist George "Lento" Gonzales. "From the distance medley to agility tests to penetration measures, performance in the trenches demonstrates that mature sperm should not be discarded out of hand."

Arguing that laboratory tests "are biased in favor of jackrabbit sperm," Mr. Gonzales said mature sperm remains just as capable as the younger variety, which is not without cockups of its own.

"Young sperm is subject to more spillage, greater runoff, and more false starts," said Mr. Gonzales, "and for every senior sperm that falls asleep or crashes into a vaginal wall before it reaches an egg, there's a 'green' sperm that runs another sperm off the road or gets into a fight before it delivers its payload.

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We will sell no sperm beyond its time.
"The proof is in the putting, so to speak," added Mr. Gonzales. "Strom Thurmond, Tony Randall, and Paul McCartney were all rowing on Golden Pond when they fathered children."

In related news, presidential candidate and former Vice President Joseph R. Biden announced his support for a constitutional amendment guaranteeing the reproductive rights of senior sperm as long as their donors can pass a drug test. He stopped uncharacteristically short of demonstrating the viability of his own sperm.


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Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; and more!"

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Read any two of these articles and get the third one for free. Pay only for shipping.


There's a Saint for That
patron saints for hireThere is a condition for every saint, and a saint in evey pot. Tell me where it hurts you, and I'll tell you whom to call. Let us pray . . .

The Pug Bus Interview
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Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface.Read on.



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Sites for Sore Eyes
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Discordianism--the one religion to have if you're having more than one—or none at all.

High Times--wanna know what Super Silver Haze is selling for near you?

Pirate Bay--indefatigible, unsinkable, and attitude out the ass; still the one-stop shoplifting stop

Soulseek--no spoofs, no lurkers, just good clean music files for free. To hell with those overpriced streaming services. As the Buddha says, "Stream your own shit, mother-fucker."

Spectrum Labs-need to pass a piss test?

Vaults of Erowid-before you drop it, chop it, snort it, or vape it, consult the druggie's bible; your brain with thank you for the effort

ExpressVPN--sturdy, impregnable fortress. It's the VPN service that we here at the Pug Bus use. Don't go digital shoplifting without it




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