postcards from the pug bus
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
Welcome to the Alt-Middle's favorite satire site
What sort of fool brings a knife to a gun fight?
Election 2020: a never was vs. a never should be...make your vote count, don't vote, it's a mope's game
“The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.” (Winston Churchill)
Let's defund the parking meter police
What doesn't kill you will weaken you
So how does felt experience arise out of non-sentient matter, anyway?
"Che stronzi sono le persone." (T. Soprano)
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The Book of Daze℠
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We surely don't. National Find a Rainbow Day? Fuck that, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else bothers to celebrate, visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.
Your Daily Ganjascope
Sagittarius (11/22 - 12/21): Your love of Calypso's Grape Fizz live resin carts conspire to produce a full-blown paradoxical reaction to life. Whenever you vape it up, dandruff shampoo turns you into a blizzard with feet. Cough medication makes you hack and sputter like a flooded outboard motor. Deodorant produces a rancid, road-kill aroma about your personal zones. I'd lay off the Beano, contraceptive devices, and hemorrhoid preparations if I were you. More Ganjascopes
The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a dried-up, old-biddy Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive or if you dare misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.
Postcards the Book
You Can't Photoshop This
Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."
The Fuck It List
Ten Things You Should Quit While Not Going Gently into That Good Night
1. Organized Religion
2. Voting
3. Seat Belts
4. Making Sure Your Zipper's Up
5. Paying for Music and Movies
6. Apologizing for Shit You Didn't Do
7. Pissing Indoors All the Time
8. Hauling Your Damn Grandkids Around
9. Stupid-Ass, Dip-Shit, Old-Fart Hats
10. Bathing or Showering Regularly
National Unbaptize the Dead Day℠
Jan 8, 2020 - 5:00
Jan 8, 2020 - 5:00
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Last month, while much of the world was swept up in gee-golly-whiz enthusiasm over the Hallmark Nativity Ruse, UCBA began unbaptizing select members of the dead. This according to the group's founder, the Reverend Philip Feral. Believed to be the first program of its kind in West Goshen Township, which was Money Magazine's eleventh-best small town in America in 2009, unbaptizing removes "the taint of baptism" from the deceased.
"Baptism is the original sin," declared the Reverend Feral, "inflicted on innocent children without their consent. From the time of Abraham the notion of sacrificing a blameless child to a demanding deity has been the true believer's go-to move, but arguments in its favor do not hold (holy) water. If churches were honest, they would raise the age of consent for baptism to twenty-one, at least."
According to the Reverend Feral, a duly ordained minister in the Church of Secular Humanism, "We intend to scrub the taint of baptism from the souls of the dearly departed who were baptized before they knew what had hit them. Of course we are using souls ironically, a fact that may go unnoticed by your basic delusional Christian with his or her nose up god's ass."
As explained by the Reverend Feral, the unbaptism ceremony borrows from the Mormon model.
"Just write the stiff's name on a piece of paper, dip the paper into the drink of your choice, and by the time you finish the drink, it's as if the person was never baptized. A person with a moderate thirst could unbaptize two or three people in one go, and economize by drinking during happy hour."
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The first person the UBCA unbaptized was the Historical Jesus. Subsequent honorees included Mother Teresa and popes John I through XXIII. Future plans include an unblessing of the animals.
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West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a virtue-signalling, marching-band university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a stupid local news story from time to time.
The Pug Bus Blogs On
Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; and more!"
The Pug Bus Quiz Challenge
No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."
The Pug Bus Interview
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface.Read on.
Sites for Sore Eyes
Discordianism--the one religion to have if you're having more than one—or or if you're having none at all.
High Times--wanna know what Super Silver Haze is going for near you? Wanna wade your way through a growing shit heap of trendy, female-empowered, social warrior nonsense to find out?
Pirate Bay--indefatigible, unsinkable, and attitude out the ass; still the one-stop shoplifting stop
Soulseek--no spoofs, no lurkers, just good clean music files for free. To hell with those overpriced streaming services. As the Buddha says, "Stream your own shit, mother-fucker."
Spectrum Labs-need to pass a piss test?
Vaults of Erowid-before you drop it, chop it, snort it, or vape it, consult the druggie's bible; your brain with thank you for the effort
ExpressVPN--sturdy, impregnable fortress. It's the VPN service that we here at the Pug Bus use. Don't go digital shoplifting without it.
High Times--wanna know what Super Silver Haze is going for near you? Wanna wade your way through a growing shit heap of trendy, female-empowered, social warrior nonsense to find out?
Pirate Bay--indefatigible, unsinkable, and attitude out the ass; still the one-stop shoplifting stop
Soulseek--no spoofs, no lurkers, just good clean music files for free. To hell with those overpriced streaming services. As the Buddha says, "Stream your own shit, mother-fucker."
Spectrum Labs-need to pass a piss test?
Vaults of Erowid-before you drop it, chop it, snort it, or vape it, consult the druggie's bible; your brain with thank you for the effort
ExpressVPN--sturdy, impregnable fortress. It's the VPN service that we here at the Pug Bus use. Don't go digital shoplifting without it.