postcards from the pug bus
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
If gender is fluid, age should be fluid, too. How old are you in dog years? Parrott years? Cat years? Light years? . . .
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The Book of Daze℠
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We surely don't. National Find a Rainbow Day? Fuck that, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else bothers to celebrate, visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.
Your 420 Ganjascope©
Presenting the astrological world's first Ganjascope, a timeless foretelling that reveals your past, present, and future at once. We take the logical out of astrological.
The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a dried-up, old-biddy Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive or if you dare misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.
Postcards the Book
You Can't Photoshop This
Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."
The Fuck It List
Ten Things You Should Quit While Not Going Gently into That Good Night
1. Religion
2. Voting
3. Seat Belts
4. FOX Fucking News
5. Paying for Music and Movies
6. Picking Up Pills That You Drop
7. Pissing Indoors
8. Talking Baby Talk to Children
9. Stupid-ass, Dip-Shit, Old Fart Hats
10. Bathing or Showering Regularly
Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.
National Bogus Handicapped Parking Sticker Day
Nov 25, 2019 - 8:14
Nov 25, 2019 - 8:14
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On a windy fall day Ralph parked his black-cherry-red Scion xB, a hipster vehicle of choice, in a handicapped-parking space on Market Street near 5th, on the edge of Wilmington's aching-to-be-fashionable LOMA district. He draped a handicapped sticker from his rear view mirror, then walked sprightly down the street without any sign of disability and ducked into La Fia, a bakery + market + bistro, where he had agreed to meet us.
PUG BUS: Dude, when did you first get a handicapped sticker?
RALPH: Fifteen years ago, dude, when my mother-in-law was living with us. She had a disability, so it wasn't any hassle to get a parking sticker on her doctor's prescription. It was like a dream come true. I'd always wanted one of those things.
PUG PUS: Did you use it just when your mother-in-law was in the car?
RALPH: Hell no, man. It wouldn't have been right dragging her around to places where she didn't necessarily want to go. Besides, she'd have complained all the time if we had left her in the car. So we began "borrowing" the sticker to go to places where we wanted to go.
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| Big brother is watching, probably using a periscope. |
RALPH: Like the Trey Anastasio Band concert over in Camden. That was the first time. It was awesome. We drove into the parking lot flying the crip sticker, and the dude waved us through to a lot that was closer to the entrance. Then the dude at that lot waved us through to an even closer lot. We finally ended up in celebrity-preferred-and-handicapped parking, right across from the entrance. Saved us a long walk, and left us with extra time to shoot a few frosties and do another vape or two.
PUG BUS: Did you feel guilty?
RALPH: About what? Using a space that would have sat there empty all night? After the concert we noticed a whole shitload of unused handicapped spaces. We didn't figure we had inconvenienced anyone, and we sure would have been inconvenienced having to walk half a mile back to a regular lot, wasted as we were.
PUG BUS: Where else have you used the sticker?
RALPH: Where haven't we used it? Supermarkets, shopping malls, rest stops on the turnpike, downtown Philly. I even use it for visits to the doctor. That's a real hoot. If I have to walk more then ten yards to get where I'm going, I'm having a bad day.
PUG BUS: Is there anyplace you won't use the sticker?
RALPH: Well, I generally don't use it if I'm actually taking up the last handicapped-parking space. Unless it's raining.
PUG BUS: How long is a sticker good for?
RALPH: Five years, but the state sends you an automatic renewal notice that you don't even have to get the doctor to sign again. You send the form back, and the state sends you a new sticker. Sweet. That's how I renewed the sticker the first time,
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| I'll see you two Pennsylvania's and I'll raise you three New Jersey's. |
RALPH: Yeah. My mother-in-law died just before we got the second automatic renewal notice. I was all set to send it in, but my wife thought that would have been disrespectful, so I had to get creative,
PUG BUS: How creative?
RALPH: Photoshop creative, but I don't want to say anything more about that.
PUG BUS: So you're using a bogus sticker that was originally issued to someone who has passed away?
RALPH: Like she really needs it any more.
PUG BUS: Have you ever heard of handicappedfraud.org?
RALPH: No. What's that about?
PUG BUS: It's a website where suspicious citizens can post information about drivers like you whom they suspect are gaming the disabled-parking system.
RALPH: Sounds like the crip version of the NSA. We've got enough illegal spying on innocent people already in this country without these handicapped fuckers getting involved. Like I said, they never use one-tenth of the goddamned handicapped spaces anyway. Besides, they always clutter up "their" spaces in supermarket parking lots with shopping carts that they're too lazy to put in the shopping-cart corral where they belong.
PUG BUS: We'd like to talk more, but if we did, we'd have to go feed the meter.
RALPH: If you had a crip sticker, dude, you wouldn't need to do that.
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There's a Saint for That
There is a condition for every saint, and a saint in evey pot. Tell me where it hurts you, and I'll tell you whom to call. Let us pray . . .The Pug Bus Interview
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface.Read on.
Sites for Sore Eyes
High Times--wanna know what Super Silver Haze is selling for near you?
Pirate Bay--indefatigible, unsinkable, and attitude out the ass; still the one-stop shoplifting stop
Soulseek--no spoofs, no lurkers, just good clean music files for free. To hell with those overpriced streaming services. As the Buddha says, "Stream your own shit, mother-fucker."
Spectrum Labs-need to pass a piss test?
Vaults of Erowid-before you drop it, chop it, snort it, or vape it, consult the druggie's bible; your brain with thank you for the effort
ExpressVPN--sturdy, impregnable fortress. It's the VPN service that we here at the Pug Bus use. Don't go digital shoplifting without it
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