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lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004

If gender is fluid, age should be fluid, too. How old are you in dog years? Parrott years? Cat years? Light years? . . .

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The Book of Daze℠
Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We surely don't. National Find a Rainbow Day? Fuck that, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else bothers to celebrate, visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.

Your 420 Ganjascope©
Presenting the astrological world's first Ganjascope, a timeless foretelling that reveals your past, present, and future at once. We take the logical out of astrological.

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Meaner than a dried-up, old-biddy Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive or if you dare misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.

Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-

You Can't Photoshop This

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."

The Fuck It List
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Ten Things You Should Quit While Not Going Gently into That Good Night

  1. Religion
  2. Voting
  3. Seat Belts
  4. FOX Fucking News
  5. Paying for Music and Movies
  6. Picking Up Pills That You Drop
  7. Pissing Indoors
  8. Talking Baby Talk to Children
  9. Stupid-ass, Dip-Shit, Old Fart Hats
10. Bathing or Showering Regularly

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Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

National Premature Ejaculation Day, What You Need to Know
Nov 22, 2019 - 4:00
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WEST CHESTER,PA—Good things come to those who wait and to those who can wait to come. Bad things, unfortunately, are the fate of the one in five men between the ages of eighteen and fifty-nine who suffer from the social scourge of premature ejaculation (PE), which is also the most common sexual cock-up affecting men under forty.

Worse than having a micropecker, dropping your wad immediately after penetration—or, god forbid, during foreplay or dinner—will earn you the undying scorn of fair and foul maiden alike. What could be worse than hearing your partner say, "Is it in yet?" How about, "Are you finished already?"

As measured by the American Medical Association's Dictionary of Sexual Dysfunction, premature ejaculation occurs within eight seconds of the onset of vaginal penetration. (The AMA does not define PE for oral or anal sex, though we suspect these delivery methods might accelerate the problem—and potentially put somebody's eye out.)

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I didn't even have time to take my top off.
No one knows what causes PE. A diet lacking in umami, political preference, an overwrought imagination, significant weight gain, another pressing social engagement, a hummingbird metabolism, fear of her husband or boyfriend returning home, serotonin deficit, and kale are among the usual suspects.

Among the usual remedies for PE are the pause-squeeze technique, which doesn't work so well with left-handed men; the stop-start technique, which doesn't work with any men; adding CBD, wheat germ, cod liver oil, and lotus root to your diet; picturing Drew Carey naked; reciting the pledge of allegiance; or counting backwards from one hundred.

A potential breakthrough in the centuries-old struggle against PE—a struggle first depicted on the walls of the Lascaux Cave in southwestern France—arrives with the release of Rabbitrol (Merck) early next year.

In double-blind trials Rabbitrol not only delayed orgasm but also increased reported sexual satisfaction. The percentage of men rating control over ejaculation as "OK to awesome" increased from 2.5 per cent before taking Rabbitrol to 51.8 per cent after taking it. Rabbitrol was equally effective in delaying orgasm in men who prefer self sex. Among men who practice sex with other people, the percentage of their partners who reported feeling satisfied by sex increased from 25 per cent without Rabbitrol to 47 per cent with it.

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Could have sworn I had an erection a second ago.
"It gets in rapidly; it gets out rapidly—in the bloodstream, that is," said Dr. Ryan Longwell of the Mayo Clinic. "And the only side effects we've noticed thus far are an exaggerated self-esteem, an inclination to brag, and a tendency to grossly over-report estimates of the passage of time." He further noted that the effectiveness of Rabbitrol, which is also known as "Hamburger Helper," does decline markedly among men who ejaculate during foreplay or dinner.

Next Ellen: Lesbians suffer from premature ejaculation, too

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High Times--wanna know what Super Silver Haze is selling for near you?

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Spectrum Labs-need to pass a piss test?

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