postcards from the pug bus
lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
 

Welcome to the Alt-Middle's favorite satire site
Rock star? Really? She looked like Gollum's fucking grandmother
White Fragility: having a low threshold for high-decible music about 'hos
We don't need to defund the police, we need to de-criminalize any police action necessary for keeping public order
1 + 1 = 3 How's that for non-racist, non-patriarchal math, you twat?
Are we going too fast for mouth-breathing liberals?
The next time you hear somebody creepy crawling through your living room at 4:00 a.m., don't call the police, call BLM instead, oh wait, that's probably BLM in your living room already
What's the difference between a transvestite and a transgender? A transvestite has a sense of humor
Expect riots post election in November ... question is, will there be more rioting if Trump wins or if he loses
White privilege means always having to say you're sorry
Reparation: Taking money from people who never owned slaves . . . and giving it to peope who never were slaves
The Pug Bus supports BLM's demand to replace Andrew Jackson's image on the twenty-dollar bill with George Floyd's

image of a biblical dude painting BLM on his front door Gentle Reader, may our lintel proclaim that the Pug Bus has been the satirical friend of black people and the BLM movement since well before the former became the dominant race in the United States and the latter became this country's most fearsome political party.

Not once in our fifteen-year history have we hesitated to mock, insult, degrade, demean, or humiliate someone just because he was black. Hell, we even send up black people by refusing to uppercase the b in black.

Therefore, we loudly signal our support of black-themed satire and parody. We also present our bona fides in that regard: a bunch of the articles about black people that we have done in the past. More links coming soon ... Huzzah!
BLM Declares National White Chocolate Day Racist

Killer Kwanzaa App Suspected of Causing Computer Crashes

Black Lives Matter Calls for Boycott of White Avatars

BLM Threatens to Disrupt Giants-Lions Game This Sunday


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The Who shortly after pissing on a tall wall
black debutante wiping her ass with the American flag
American Freedm Party
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The Book of Daze℠
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Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We surely don't. National Find a Rainbow Day? Fuck that, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else bothers to celebrate, visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.

Your Daily Horoscope
(Ramp Accessible)
Because you are highly possessive, adore your own company, and are inclined to mate for life, you begin a campaign to have self-sex marriages legalized. Your slogan, "Be part of the problem and part of the solution," is too clever by half, and your campaign comes to grief when you are caught making an unauthorized deposit at a sperm bank. More Horoscopes

The Grammar Prick
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Meaner than a dried-up, old-biddy Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive or if you dare misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.


Postcards the Book
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The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-


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Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."

The Fuck It List
     image of a big thumb pointing down         image of a big thumb pointing down

Ten Things You Should Quit While Not Going Gently into That Good Night

  1. Organized Religion
  2. Voting
  3. Seat Belts
  4. Making Sure Your Zipper's Up
  5. Paying for Music and Movies
  6. Apologizing for Shit You Didn't Do
  7. Pissing Indoors All the Time
  8. Hauling Your Damn Grandkids Around
  9. Stupid-Ass, Dip-Shit, Old-Fart Hats
10. Bathing or Showering Regularly

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Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

It's the THC, Stupid
Sep 16, 2020 - 5:38
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WEST GOSHEN TWP, Pa.–The average American pick-up truck has gained 1,142 pounds since 1990. The average American, about the same. The average Phish tune, in concert, added nearly two minutes around its middle, and personal pizzas got 25 percent larger. Go big or go home: The 11th Commandment writ large.

Could the engine driving this Brobdingnagian mindset be tetrahydrocannabinol (THC), the psychoactive, I-wanna-take-you-higher ingredient in weed? (Hint: It could.)

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During the last several years, CBD (cannabidiol)...the over-hyped, non-psychoactive, virtually worthless, and totally unfuckable little sister of THC...has enjoyed awesome street cred among soccer moms, sellout hucksters like Tommy Chong, and lots of other folks that do not urinate standing up. Irregardless [sic], THC is, was, and always will be thee 4-H club for all stoners. It'll get ya happy, horny, hungry, and high...even if you can't buy it at Bed Bath & Beyond.

The mean THC level in marijuana, a measly 4 percent in 1995, partied on up to 12 percent by 2014 and is said to hover near 20 percent today. Unfortunately, pot is prevented by its genetic makeup from exceeding 35 percent THC while still remaining vital.

Fortunately, distillation wizards can get around that road block and deliver us this day THC levels that average between 70 and 90 percent (and top out even higher) in a variety of concentrated forms suitable for vaping, dabbing, and other, less cultured, means of matriculation.

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Now that THC has reached its apex...at about the same time that CBD began showing up in your local gas station...what does that portend for pizzas, pick-ups, Phish tunes, and Walmart shoppers?

Don't look to presidential candidates for answers. Neither of them has ever had enough imagination to do drugs, besides there is nothing less than the soul of America at stake, again, in this election.

Good thing the size of America isn't at stake. That battle's been sailed, the ship has been lost, and we are here as on a darkling plain surrounded by ignorant armies of pick-up trucks the size of earth movers, people the size of Lizzo, and personal pizzas as big as man hole covers...while Phish plays an eighty-minute version of "Divided Sky" on endless loop in the background.
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© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.



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West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a virtue-signalling, marching-band university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a stupid local news story from time to time.

The Pug Bus Blogs On
hillary's basket of deplorables
Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; and more!"

The Pug Bus Interview
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Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface.Read on.



Sites for Sore Eyes
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Discordianism--the one religion to have if you're having more than one—or or if you're having none at all.

High Times--wanna know what Super Silver Haze is going for near you? Wanna wade your way through a growing shit heap of trendy, female-empowered, social warrior nonsense to find out?

Pirate Bay--indefatigible, unsinkable, and attitude out the ass; still the one-stop shoplifting stop

Soulseek--no spoofs, no lurkers, just good clean music files for free. To hell with those overpriced streaming services. As the Buddha says, "Stream your own shit, mother-fucker."

Spectrum Labs-need to pass a piss test?

Vaults of Erowid-before you drop it, chop it, snort it, or vape it, consult the druggie's bible; your brain with thank you for the effort

ExpressVPN--sturdy, impregnable fortress. It's the VPN service that we here at the Pug Bus use. Don't go digital shoplifting without it.