Courtesy of Postcards


Tourist Kills, Eats Rare Octopus, Screws His Karma Royally
By Sri Boghaven

I'll get your ass for this.
If karma is our shadow, then the karma that shadows Labros Hydras is outlined in chalk. Not to put too blunt a point on things, but Mr. Hydras is dead in the water in his next life.

That's the kind of karmic tab you run up when you're snorkeling while on vacation with your family in Greece, you discover a rare six-limbed octopus—only the second of its kind ever found—you haul it ashore, dash its brain out on a rock, then take it to a tavern for a quick stir fry and a toss in a lemon-garlic dressing with some house-made feta. Is this dude fucked six ways to Sunday or what.

To the tavern chef's credit, he refused to cook the rare six-limbed octopus, (known as a hexapus in scientific terms). In fact, the chef ran from the kitchen screaming "diabollos," the Greek word for devil.

Mr. Hydras, 49, a mechanical engineer from Washington, D.C., then took the octopus to his rented villa and fried it himself, eating it with a slice of tomato and lemon.

"It tasted just like a normal octopus, but now I feel really bad," Mr. Hydras told a reporter from the South Wales News Service. "We go to Greece every year, and when we catch an octopus, we do the same thing, so we just did not think about it."

If Mr. Hydras thinks he feels bad now, wait until he's reborn as an octopus making his living in the water off a Greek island.

For the record: the only other hexapus ever discovered was found in Wales in 2008. Baptized "Henry," he lived out his days at the Blackpool Sea Life Centre in England.

The family that plays together,
slays together.


Disclaimer: the stories presented in Karma Korner are factual. They have, however, been gussied up a bit to make them more interesting than they were in the reports from which we stole them. On the Internet, everyone is a thief, but only the honest people admit it.

ŠThe fine print: the editorial content on this page is fictional. Be advised to believe half of what you see and nothing of what you read. You must have a mental age no greater than eighteen to enjoy this shite.