Postcards from the Pug Bus                

postcards from the pug bus

lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004
Reparations? Isn't that just a fancy word
for "welfare handouts"
an excuse for taking money from people
who never owned slaves
and giving it to people
who never were slaves?
Elizabeth Warren loves to tell business owners,
"You didn't build that."
We say to reparations queens,
"You didn't earn that."
four dogs in a row having sex from behind...
Whether you do it doggie style or scissors, sister, we've got suggestions for what to read when you're having a cigarette or a blunt afterward ...

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The Book of Daze℠
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Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . .  The Book of Daze℠.

Your Virtual GanjaScope
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A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.

The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.

There's a Saint for That
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There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.

image of iconic screaming person
two lions having it off
The Who shortly after pissing on a tall wall
American Freedm Party
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subliminal Coca-Cola advert
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image of bicyclist
image of handicapped parking sticker
man on his knees fucking a tail pipe
fly agaric mushroom

Here's to a Brighter Day
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Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.

The Pug Bus Blogs On
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Our editor in briefs holds forth on why he doesn't want to be called a white person; the evil that is Mick Jagger; the rise of the alt-middle; and more!"

Yesterdays' Papers
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Read any two of these classic articles from May 2005 and get the third one for free. Pay only for shipping and handling. Offer good while supplies last.

US Prepared for Flu Pandemic Says Bush
A case of deja vu in reverse or what?

Johnny Depp to Read at Hunter S. Thompson Memorial
Johnny wore a wife-beater then he became one.

Mena Suvari Seeks Separation from Mira Sorvino
So who'd you rather . . . or rather not.

Local News
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West Chester, PA, is home to a public-embarrassment Jackass has-been; a woke university; and the goddamn QVC shopping headquarters. That should be good for a mean-spirited, condescending local news story from time to time.

Pug Bus Quizzes 'n' Polls
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No rhetorical questions allowed. No penalties for guessing wrong. Find out just how much you do know about Schrödinger’s cat and other neat shit."

Postcards the Book
The book that inspired a website was written by someone who was actually raised by pugs. Postcards is a welcome addition to any nightstand.

Sample chapters . . . -1- -2-

You Can't Photoshop This

Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."


The Pug Bus Interview
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Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.


image of a gun Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

  Satire Site Calls for Boycott of West Chester Restaurant
        Dec 23, 2020 - 7:07
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WEST CHESTER, PA—Postcards from the Pug Bus, West Chester's longest-running satire site, has called for an immediate boycott of the Market Street Grill, located in the borough, which has chosen to defy Governor Wolf's current ban on indoor dining in the commonwealth.

"We cannot allow restaurant owners to put profits above public safety during this pandemic," said Chip Hilton, food, music, and wellness editor of the Pug Bus.

"Besides, if your food is brought to you by someone wearing a mask, you ought to be eating at home ... and that's what we're advising our readers to do."

Hilton, who thinks "restaurant owners need to get over themselves," calls the Market Street Grill's attempts to justify its decision "incoherent and self-serving."

Darla Riccetti, part owner of the grill, recently told the Daily Local News, “We are trying to save the business. We don’t want to get anybody sick."

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"That argument's harder to stomach than their sausage gravy," laughed Hilton. "Slinging hash is only a solution to the first problem—saving the business. It's not the way to go if you "don't want to get anybody sick." Can she guarantee that no one who eats there will get sick? Really?

"If the idiot who wrote that piece for the Daily Local had any wit or integrity, he would have asked her how many people she would be willing to see get sick in order to save her business. We'd all like to know that answer."

The indoor-dining ban went into effect December 12. That same day West Chester Borough police contacted Market Street Grill after receiving a complaint that people were eating inside. Police then reported the restaurant to the state department of agriculture, which has the authority to shut down a restaurant for non-compliance.

Hilton says that in urging the boycott, he is not trying to make an example of the Market Street Grill, even if they aren't taking customers' temperatures before seating them. 

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"What's not to like about a place with great stoner food where the waitresses always warn you, 'Be careful, hon, that plate's hot.' And don't forget all that funky art on the walls ... and the fact that every third diner knew your name. At this rate every third diner will be dead in a month."  

Please join our boycott by filling out the brief form used to report restaurants that refuse to comply with the law. The form is available from the PA State Government here.

"Vote early and often," says Hilton, "and don't forget to mention that the grill isn't even bothering to take customers' temperatures before seating them."

© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.

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