Who gives a shit about National Bubble Bath Day? We don't. National Take Your Grand Kid Out to Lunch Day? Fuck that, and your grand kid, too. For the really fun days, the ones that nobody else has the imagination to celebrate, days like National Ain't Woke, Do Not Disturb Day℠, National Ignore the Ban on Plastic Straws Day℠, and others visit . . . The Book of Daze℠.
Your Virtual GanjaScope
A half-century's worth of smoking pot/hash/shatter/live resin carts has led us to conclude that horoscopes are more fun and more accurate when you're stoned...and they're even better when the person who wrote them was stoned, too. If you're looking to turn over a new leaf, visit GanjaScope.
The Grammar Prick
Meaner than a 250-pound lesbian Language Arts teacher, The Grammar Prick will split your head if you split an infinitive, dangle a participle, or dare to misuse penultimate. Visit The Grammar Prick.
There's a Saint for That
There's a saint in every pot, and a prayer card for every condition. Just tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you whom to call and where to send your donations. Let us pray.
Here's to a Brighter Day
Brights neither seek nor accept any supernatural "explanations" for life. If that sounds like a bright idea to you, click here.
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National Pardon Yourself Day Jan 2, 2021 - 10:54
WEST GOSHEN TWP, PA—Everyone, it seems, has an opinion regarding a president's authority to pardon himself for wrong doings of a pardonable sort. Ever the contrarians, we do not have an opinion in this regard. Lucky you.
We do, nevertheless, believe that pardons, by whomever they are issued, resemble charity: they ought to begin and most frequently end at home. If, as we are told, we cannot love anyone unless we can love ourselves first, how can we forgive anybody if we cannot forgive ourselves first?
We can't. That's how. And if, as we are told, the faults that we hate most in others are the ones that we see in ourselves, we cannot forgive those faults in others unless we pardon ourselves first. Capisci?
Hence, National Pardon Yourself Day, a day when we can say "Pardon me" or "I beg your pardon" and really mean it. A day for replacing "my bad" with "I'm good." Or, as we used to say, "I'm OK, You're Not."
Your ability to pardon yourself is unlimited and doesn't require an act of contrition or slavish penance. Pardons are given, not earned. No fawning or obsequiousness here; and if anyone claims that only god can grant pardons, tell the fool that you can't pardon a sin you haven't committed.
For those who like happy endings, we are pleased to report that today we pardoned ourselves for forgetting that it was our 39th wedding anniversary. We felt like shit for a few moments until we pardoned ourself. There was no choice. We'd have felt like shit the rest of the day otherwise.
As they say in Rome, "De Indulgentiis incipere domi."
Some photos cannot be shopped. They are perfect just the way god made them. Such perfection does not happen by accident, and wise, indeed, is the man who says "you can't photoshop this."
The Pug Bus Interview
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.