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We Dream of Making Cracker the New Nigga Feb 9, 2021 - 3:21
WEST GOSHEN TWP, PA—Somerset Maugham wrote that people will forgive anything you do to them, but they seldom forgive anything you say to them. The old bender was almost right. In the United States of Decline these days, people won't forgive anything you say. Period. Doesn't matter if you say it to them or about them or not even about them at all. If you utter a "protected word," your ass is in the soup quicker than a missionary's who ran afoul of the hottentots.
Case in point is the attempted castration of Morgan Wallen by the Goddamn Forces of Woke. Mr. Wallen is a country music star of Jesus-like proportions: iHeartRadio's Best New Country Artist and the Country Music Association's New Artist of the Year for 2020; a new double album, Dangerous, that debuted at the top of the Billboard 200 chart and Billboard Top Country Albums, remaining there for four consecutive weeks. Makes Joe Biden's 64-percent approval rating look like a limp-dick minor piece.
Then Mr. Wallen went drinking with some rowdy friends on the last Sunday in January. They were loud, drunk, profane, and somewhat disorderly when they rolled up in front of Mr. Wallen's home in Nashville just around midnight, honking their horns and such as good ol' boys will do. Shortly thereafter, Mr. Wallen, 27, said to one white person in the group—referring to another white person in the group—"Take care of this pussy-ass mother-fucker," and a moment later, "take care of this pussy-ass nigga."
The above was recorded on a cell phone by one of Mr. Wallen's pussy-ass neighbors. Soon the vulture that is TMZ was broadcasting the clip, and quicker than you could say "pussy-ass nigga," Mr. Wallen became the latest scalp on the cancel culture belt. His record company suspended him indefinitely; Country Music Television said he couldn’t be on their shows or qualify for any year-end awards; iHeart Radio denounced him before cancelling him; and his record company also demanded that Mr. Wallen be removed from more than four hundred U.S. radio playlists.
Holy fucking shit, we thought, all that for no crime, not even a victimless one? Apparently we were not alone. According to Yahoo News for February 6, "Morgan Wallen is bigger than ever. He has the numbers 1, 3, 4, 5, and 8 singles on iTunes ... with fourteen (14) more floating around in the Top 100. Two of his albums are numbers 1 and 2 on iTunes; and Spotify never dropped him; he’s right there, streaming away. And ALL his videos are playing and playing on YouTube," where one of Mr. Wallen's clips has rung up 104 million views.
Well slap my mama and call me a pussy-ass fool, but like that famous Negro the Reverend Doctor Martin Luther King, I too have a dream, a dream of a day when all men are judged my the content of their speech not their character; a dream of a day when a black man can get in just as much trouble for using the word cracker in private ... as Mr. Wallen did for saying nigga in private; a day when white students are not denied admission to the college of their choice because that college chooses to play the diversity game, a game that has never proven to be at all effective; a day when southern culture and southern people are no longer the butt of jokes. After all, southerners and their culture are the last unprotected people in America, where it's always open season on crackers.
I may not live to see that day or to walk down any street in America safely in a White Pride parade; but that day is coming, my fellow pussy-ass crackers; and if it doesn't ... well good luck trying to stem that tide, the effort, as Mr. Wallen has written in another context, would be like "putting a band-aid on a bullet hole."
Next Kimmel: Was Barack Obama really Trayvon Martin's father?
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The Pug Bus Interview
Enjoy the interviews nobody else has the sack to do. We aren't afraid to stop totally at the surface, because no matter how beautiful a person might be on the inside, you've still got to look at him or her when you're speaking to 'em..Read on.